LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST FROM HER
ROLES IN "KNOCKED UP" AND "THIS IS 40" AND NOW SHE STARS IN
"THE COMEDIAN."
PLEASE WELCOME LESLIE MANN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪
>> Stephen: HEY!
HELLO!
>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THE FAMILY NEEDING.
>> IT WAS FUN.
>> Stephen: THE KIDS NEED IT.
YES.
>> Stephen: THEY NEED THE GUIDANCE WE PROVIDE.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A MOTHER.
YES.
>> Stephen: YOU AND YOUR LOVELY HUSBAND AND I HAVE DONE
MILDLY SOCIAL THINGS TOGETHER, SLIGHTLY FORCED SOCIAL THINGS
TOGETHER -- ( LAUGHTER )
>> WAS IT AWKWARD FOR YOU?
>> Stephen: NO.
WE HAD DINNER.
A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE WE HAD NEVER MET.
>> Stephen: WE FOUND OURSELVES THROWN TOGETHER AT A TABLE.
>> NEXT TO EACH OTHER.
I WAS HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER WAS GOING
AWAY TO SCHOOL.
REMEMBER, I WAS CRYING A LOT.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YOU WERE BEING VERY BRAVE.
>> WHAT WAS YOUR ADVICE?
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
>> Stephen: I THINK THE ADVICE WAS IT ONLY GETS HARDER.
SUCK IT UP, IT ONLY GETS HARDER.
NO, I SAID WHEN THEY COME HOME, THEY'RE NICER BECAUSE THEY MISS
YOU.
HERE'S YOU AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY RIGHT THERE.
DO YOU HAVE FAMILY MEETINGS?
>> NOT REALLY.
DO WE?
WE HAVE FAMILY FIGHTS.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
IT'S QUALITY TIME, HOWEVER YOU DESCRIBE IT.
>> BUT WE DO HAVE FAMILY -- I MEAN, I COULD LIE AND SAY WE
HAVE FAMILY MEETINGS BUT I DON'T THINK WE DO.
DO YOU?
>> Stephen: NOT REALLY.
WE DON'T REALLY HAVE FAMILY MEETINGS.
I THINK MY WIFE HAS MORE FAMILY MEETINGS WITH THE CHILDREN THAN
WE DO.
IS SHE BACK THERE?
THERE SHE IS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> NICE!
NICE!
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW THAT SHE WAS THERE.
THAT'S HOW WE ALWAYS GREET EACH OTHER.
>> HE JUST GAVE HER A LITTLE ASS GRAB.
>> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT.
IT'S CBS.
LET'S KEEP IT CLEAN.
THE REASON THEY HAVE THE MEETINGS IS THEY TAKE HER MORE
SERIOUSLY THAN ME.
YOU'RE BOTH COMEDIANS.
DO THEY TAKE YOU BOTH SERIOUSLY?
>> YEAH, MAYBE ME MORE.
I GUESS.
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW.
WE'RE NOT, LIKE -- LIKE, FUNNY AROUND THE HOUSE.
I DON'T FIND JED THAT FUNNY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: IS HE HERE?
I THINK HE'S HERE, TOO.
>> I'M SORRY.
>> Stephen: YEAH, OKAY.
DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY, JUD, JUST TAKE IT PROFESSIONALLY.
>> HE'S FUNNY IN HIS PROFESSIONAL HOME, BUT AT HOME
HE'S LIKE -- (GROWLING) ON HIS PHONE.
HE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME.
>> Stephen: YOU GUYS LIVE IN L.A.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HOW L.A. ARE YOU?
ARE YOU IN A CULT?
>> IF A CULT?
>> Stephen: I THINK OF L.A. AS BEING SLIGHTLY CULTISH.
IF YOU'RE IN L.A. YOU DO ALL THE L.A. THINGS, LIKE CLEANSE AND
ALL THAT.
>> YEAH, WELL, IT'S NOT CLEANSE, IT'S A DETOX.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE DEFINITION, DON'T THEY MEAN THE
SAME?
>> PROBABLY ON THE WEB SITE.
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO SNOWWHAT DO YOU HAVE TO
DO FOR YOUR DETOX?
>> FROM THE DEE TOCKS, IT'S FROM GWYNETH PALTROW.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW HER.
YES.
>> Stephen: I MET HER IN A PARTY A FEW WEEKS AGO.
YOU COULD SUN YOURSELF BY HERE.
SHE GLOWS.
>> THAT'S WHY I'M DOING THE DETOX BECAUSE SHE DOES IT.
I FIGURE IF I DO EVERYTHING SHE DOES, I MIGHT BE LIKE HER.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
>> ANYWAY -- >> Stephen: AND JUD IS DOING
IT, TOO?
>> YES.
SO I HAVE HIM ON THE DETOX, AND HE IS -- HE LOST 12 POUNDS IN A
WEEK AND A HALF.
>> Stephen: WHAT!
YEAH.
( APPLAUSE ) HE USED TO LOOK SO TERRIBLE --
( LAUGHTER ) HE'D HAVE THE BIGGEST BAGS UNDER
HIS EYES AND JUST LOOK GLUEY -- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY THAT?
>> Stephen: JUST A RECAP, FOR THOSE OF YOU KEEPING SCORE AT
HOME, HE'S NOT FUN, HE'S HIDEOUS, AND HE'S HERE RIGHT
NOW.
>> GREAT.
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.
( LAUGHTER ) >> BUT HE LOST ALL THIS WEIGHT
AND I THOUGHT, THIS IS GREAT, YOU KNOW, HE'S FEELING SO GOOD
NOW, AND I'M, LIKE, EXTENDING HIS LIFE BY FEEDING HIM THIS
HEALTHY FOOD, AND THEN I, YOU KNOW, THOUGHT, WELL, LIKE BY HOW
MUCH, THOUGH?
AND DO I WANT TO -- ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: WHY IS THIS?
ARE YOU WORRIED HE MIGHT LIVE TOO LONG?
( LAUGHTER ) IS HE HEAVILY INSURED?
>> I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT.
BUT HE'S ACTUALLY A REALLY NICE PERSON.
>> Stephen: VERY NICE GUY.
HE'S VERY FUNNY.
>> Stephen: HE'S GOT A BIG HEART.
>> I'M GOING TO KEEP FEEDING HIM HEALTHY FOODS SO THAT HE LIVES A
VERY LONG TIME.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: OKAY.
THE NEW MOVIE IS CALLED THE "THE COMEDIAN."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: DAN IN DEVITO IS IN THIS.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND ROBERT DE NIRO IS YOUR CO-STAR.
>> MM-HMM.
>> Stephen: AND YOU BOTH HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE CLIP BETWEEN THE
TWO OF YOU.
>> SO I WAS ARRESTED FOR HITTING MY BOYFRIEND'S NEW GIRLFRIEND.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
AND HE WAS ARRESTED FOR HITTING A HECKLER, BECAUSE HE'S
A COMEDIAN.
>> Stephen: AND THIS IS THE TWO OF YOU COMPARING YOUR
SENTENCES.
>> YES.
HOW MANY HOURS DID YOU GET?
A HUNDRED.
YOU?
>> 250.
FOR WHAT?
>> ASSAULT.
ME, TOO.
YOU GOT 100 FOR ASSAULT?
WHY IS THAT FAIR?
WHY DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL.
WHY SHOULD A MAN GET LESS THAN A WOMAN FOR THE SAME THING?
THAT MAKES ZERO SENSE.
NOT THAT I MIND WORKING HERE BECAUSE I REALLY DO LOVE BEING
HERE, BUT THAT'S BULL (BLEEP).
WHAT DID YOU DO, GET THE CELEBRITY DISCOUNT?
>> NO, THEY GAVE ME 30 DAYS IN JAIL.
>> WELL, NEXT TIME DON'T HIT SOMEONE IN THE HEAD WITH THE
MICROPHONE, THEN.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: GOOD ADVICE.
PLEASE SAY HI TO JUD FOR ME.
>> THERE HE IS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: JUD, COME HERE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> LOOK HOW HEALTHY HE LOOKS!
SHE'S KEEPING ME ALIVE FOR A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S VERY HARD TO LOSE WEIGHT
DURING A TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.
>> IT IS.
A LOT OF STRESS EATING NOW.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
WELL, JUD, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
I'M AFRAID WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
BUT WE'VE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT YOU!
>> I THINK I JUST MADE 600 BUCKS.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: IT'S A DEAL.
"THE COMEDIAN" OPENS THIS FRIDAY.
LESLIE MANN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LEWIS BLACK.