Deadpool 2 is a cinematic blessing the likes of which the world hasn't seen since Infinity
War came out two weeks earlier.
That said, the sarcastic, fourth-wall-breaking X-Men spinoff is up there with the very best
of superhero sequels - like Spider-Man 2, X2, or the second Godfather.
It raises the stakes, widens the world, and racks up a bone-crunching body count.
The movie's got everything you need but a free chimichanga.
Were you too busy laughing to catch exactly what was going on at the end of Deadpool 2?
If so, don't worry.
We've got ourselves a cell-phone-quality camera rip of this R-rated blockbuster, and we've
combed through it frame-by-frame to get you all the facts you need.
So buckle up, family - it's time to break down the insane ending of Deadpool 2.
Token of affection
After seeing Deadpool give up his life for Russell, Cable is forced to reconsider his
values.
Thanks to Back to the Future-style time travel causality waves, he can see that Deadpool
and Company's efforts to save Russell's soul were ultimately effective, as his daughter
Hope's teddy bear is no longer being stained with ash and blood.
Realizing Deadpool's sacrifice has saved his daughter's life, he decides to pay the good
deed forward with a sacrifice of his own.
Cable uses the second of two time jumps his machine is capable of to go back and make
sure that Deadpool's lead skee-ball token ends up back in his pocket.
Afterwards, the previous fight scene plays out precisely as before, allowing Deadpool
to take the shot without his healing factor active and still survive unharmed, the bullet
deflected by the token instead of piercing his heart.
"Tell me they got that in slow motion."
Time to change
The first chunk of the post-credits sequence opens up a massive can of worms, giving Deadpool
nothing less than the power to rewrite reality as we know it.
Along with her girlfriend Yukio, Negasonic Teenage Warhead alters Cable's time travel
device so it can make unlimited trips, turning the machine from a limited-use, last resort
option into a glowing "I win" button.
It's the worst possible power to endow a psycho like Deadpool with, which N.T.W. seems to
only realize after she's handed the device over to him.
Just like that, Deadpool is off on his very own excellent adventure.
Unwasting Vanessa
Long before the wide release of Deadpool 2, there was a swirl of negative buzz surrounding
one of the movie's test screenings, part of which had to do with Vanessa being "wasted".
It's pretty cheeky wording in retrospect, once you know she gets shot through the chest
in the movie's first act.
It's not played for a joke, either.
The overblown opening credits sequence of the movie, scored to Celine Dion's "Ashes",
highlights how impactful Vanessa's demise is.
It's all the more satisfying when Deadpool uses the time machine to go back to the scene
of her death and bisect her assassin's brain with a cream cheese spreader.
It's an insanely violent way to get to a happy ending, but it's a happy ending we'll take.
Searching for Sugar Bear
The second task Deadpool embarks on after saving the love of his life is travelling
through time to save the true love of the audience - Rob Delaney's Peter.
After surviving the high-risk, high-altitude parachute jump like a regular member of the
Army Rangers, Peter is ready to go all-out on the heroism by saving the life of Zeitgeist,
he of the useless vomiting power.
The first time around, this selfless act resulted in Peter violently dissolving thanks to a
spray of Zeitgeist's acid bile.
When Deadpool comes back to the moment via the time machine, he sends Peter away from
Zeitgeist's crash site emphatically, letting X-Force's most vulnerable member live to fight
another day.
X-Men Origins: Redux
With his second turn at the time machine, Deadpool goes back to either the 2009 of our
world or the late seventies of the X-Men's world to intercept the climax of X-Men Origins:
Wolverine.
That movie infamously ended with Hugh Jackman's Wolverine having a nonsensical duel with Ryan
Reynolds' proto-Deadpool, who you might remember as the Merc with No Mouth.
The real Deadpool finally corrects the timeline in Deadpool 2, capping his old self eight
or nine times while Jackman's Wolverine looks on.
Widely-distributed masochism
There's something very Canadian about the way Ryan Reynolds continually apologizes for
his past mistakes.
In the third portion of Deadpool 2's end credits world tour, the actor Ryan Reynolds excitedly
reads the script for Warner Bros. Green Lantern movie, sometime in 2010.
But this time, Reynolds' life comes to an end before he gets the chance to make the
misbegotten movie, his blood and brain matter being sprayed across the page as Deadpool
shoots him.
It's the bloodiest, goriest, strangest mea culpa the world has ever seen in a superhero
movie, and the new Exhibit A in what makes these movies so magical.
Aaaaaand cut
One thing that's bound to bug some fans is the fact that Deadpool 2 apparently filmed,
and then cut, a scene in which Deadpool goes back in time to smother Baby Hitler in his
crib.
Originally, the last stop on Wade Wilson's Excellent Time Travel Tour was somewhere in
Austria in the year 1889.
There, Deadpool proceeded to do something we all might not be brave enough to do, given
the chance.
It's arguably the most heroic thing anyone's ever done in a superhero movie, but did it
go too far?
Well, someone thought so.
According to a Comicbook.com interview with Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, two of the movie's
depraved screenwriters, the scene was cut because the implications were just too uncomfortable
to end the movie on.
"I think it was cut just because it was at the very, very end.
And it left the audience with this, 'oooh, sure it was Baby Hitler, but it IS a baby!"
The next episode
While the final shots of the film's main story seem to suggest more adventures on the horizon,
it's possible that those adventures won't be solo missions anymore.
Like Weasel says in the Deadpool trailer, they probably won't even make a Three.
"Yeah, why would they?
You stop at Two — you killed it."
The idea that the main Deadpool series may be done isn't just conjecture, either - it's
actually something Ryan Reynolds has come out and said.
Speaking to Entertainment Weekly, Reynolds stated,
"I don't know that there would be a Deadpool 3.
I really don't."
Instead, Reynolds envisions Deadpool's future as being one of a larger team, or half of
a partnership.
Granted, those are just where his thoughts are as of the end of an exhausting movie production.
We imagine he's just being cautious.
In case watching him get his brains blown out over the script of Green Lantern didn't
make it clear, he's clearly tired of doing lousy superhero movies, and that's a good
thing for viewers.
Whether on a team or on his own, Deadpool's future looks bright.
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