(sleigh bells ring)
(light Christmas music) - Merry Christmas.
- Thank you guys so much for coming.
- No, thank you so much for having us.
- (sigh) I can't hold it in anymore.
- We just decided not to say anything.
- Okay, wait. What's going on?
- We accidentally invited Phillip's ex.
(record player scratch)
- What?
- Okay, look. It was a Facebook invite,
and she totally looks like a guy I know.
- Dammit. How could you do this?
- My God. Everyone calm down.
It's not a big deal.
I would love to meet her.
- She probably won't even come.
- No, no, no. You all don't understand, okay?
She is crazy.
She posts videos about us on her Instagram.
- What? That's that doesn't matter.
Because I'm crazy about you.
I mean this is our first Christmas together.
No-one is gonna steal that from us.
- [Phillip] (laughs)
- My little snowflake.
- Attention!
I've arrived.
(dramatic music)
Well, well, well.
If it isn't my ex love interest, Phillip,
and his ethnic housekeeper.
- Uh, hi. My name is Lilly.
I'm Phillip's girlfriend. Nice to
- Oh, I see. You've downgraded
from a Caucasian to this peasant.
- Joanne, please just leave us alone.
- Okay, wait. Caucasian?
I mean, you're not even close to white.
- You know, honestly, I cannot stand you people
telling me what the hell I am.
I am a white woman.
- Is she joking? Okay, I get it. This is a prank, right?
- You know, I dated this pathetic man.
I basically donated to charity.
I demand respect.
- Joanne, stop it.
- Do you see this hair, child?
These platinum highlights cost $500,
American dollars at that.
Not pesos. Not rupees. American dollars.
More than your monthly rent.
- Wow. Yeah, okay, you were right. She is crazy.
I can't believe you dated this psycho.
- I told you. Let's go.
- That's right. Walk away, Phillip.
- But, FYI, stop calling me.
- Wait, you call her?
- No. No, no, she is lying. That is what she does.
- Oh, he calls me. Honestly.
- To tell me that he misses touching my
luxurious body while we listen to Celine Dion
in my Caucasian house in Maine.
- Do you call her Phillip?
And, when is the last time you were in her home?
- Ah, ah. My Caucasian home.
- Her home.
- No, don't, don't listen to her, okay?
She is a liar.
She literally stole thousands of dollars from me.
No, you are ridiculous.
- Phillip, look. I can see that you're upset,
and I would be, too, if I had to sleep
in a twin-sized bed with this ethnic maid
and use shower curtains as blankets,
but you're not getting any more of my sweet peach,
so you can give it up.
- Okay. He doesn't need your flat back
with the crack booty.
- Flat?
- Because, he's got my booty. Tell her Babe.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Got that on lock.
- Mhmm.
- How dare you?
I do squats every night, holding a bag of damn diamonds.
- No, she really does have a bag of diamonds.
- My house looks like a damn game of Bejeweled.
- Yeah. Yeah, it's true. It really is beautiful.
- Okay, Phillip. Not helping.
- It's a nice house.
- Shut up.
- How's your love life? Because, mine is fabulous.
- That's none of your business,
but you know what, for the record,
it's wonderful, and sexy, and intimate,
and I'm the best Phillip has ever had.
Come close to me.
Mmm...
- You know, for someone named Phillip,
he does not screwdrive
that well,
if you know what I mean.
Unless, he has the proper motivation,
which is, a real woman.
- You did know how to make a man go crazy. (growl)
- Okay, what the F is going on?
Shut your mouth.
You. Your wig looks like it's from Party City, okay?
And, you need to touch up your roots.
Matter of fact, you need to remember your roots,
since you're a colored person acting white.
- Party City?
The hell are you trying to do?
Hurt my damn feelings?
- You look like Denzel Washington
dressed up as Taylor Swift.
- Woah. Lilly, don't be so mean.
(sigh)
- That's a nice watch, actually.
- I think someone stole my watch.
- Well, look. This party's over.
It's cancelled,
and you look here girl.
I'm more whiter than you, more privileged,
and much prettier.
So, don't you ever forget it.
- Hey, listen. Hi. You're a mess.
Get out of my Indian house, you freak of a character.
- Hey, Lilly. Everything okay?
- Who is this exotic man?
- Everything's fine Dad.
Joanne was just leaving.
- Huh? Leaving so soon?
We just about to open presents and do Merry Christmas.
- Presents?
Well, hugs and kisses. So nice to meet you.
- Thank you. That woman very strong.
(gift bags crinkle)
- Joanne just stole Christmas.
- And my wallet.
- Joanne, wait! I do miss your Caucasian house!
- And, my man.
- Iconic.
- What up, everyone? It's your girl Superwoman, and
- Joanne the Scammer.
- If you like this video, give it a thumbs up,
comment below letting me know who else
you want to see my collab with.
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It's right over there.
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because I'm making new videos
every Monday, and Thursday.
- One Love.
- Yeah.
- Superwoman.
- Yes.
- That is a wrap, and zoop.