Robert: Nice guys listen to the woman talk, they try to help her solve her problems.
They pay her car payment, they help her sister move.
They you know, they become what I call a "girlfriend with a p***s."
-Intro Music-
Matt: Today, I'm really excited because not only
do I have one of our badass trainers, Josiah Prise, with us..
I also have the author of "No More Mr.
Nice Guy," Robert Glover.
And No More Mr. Nice Guy.
If you haven't read the book, you absolutely need to.
I've read it probably four or five times at least.
And I would easily say 90 to 95 percent of our clients.
I would definitely classify as "nice guys."
So if you're listening to this or watching this on our YouTube channel,
chances are you're a nice guy and you need to listen or watch this entire episode
because it's going to be absolutely invaluable.
Josiah: I see some of the irony that you started off your dating life
as a as a quote unquote, "therapist for the women" got a real degree
as a therapist, and then wrote a book about how to not be a therapist to women.
Robert: There you go. You you're good with the irony of things.
Josiah: Hey man, it's actually how it all ends up
turning out most of the time, though.
Robert: For most of us, Yeah. And I often tell people that, you know,
I write and teach whatever I've struggled with, whatever I bumbled my way through.
Degrees are irrelevant is really what have
you what have you learned in the process and what have you applied and how does
that change things? So that's what I keep coming back to,
whether I'm working with nice guys or working around dating or relationships or
sex or whatever is I teach best from what I've struggled with.
Josiah: Nothing better than life experience to teach you real lessons.
And sometimes they come really hard and sometimes they come a little easier.
But you've got to learn it the hard way sometimes.
Robert: the best ones often come pretty
hard and hopefully you just treat them that way.
They're lessons. That's all it is.
We're all, you know, we're all just out there learning.
And I know so many guys I work with and maybe you guys find that, too.
They want to get everything perfect.
You know, they want to have the perfect pickup line.
They want everything to go perfectly, blah, blah, blah.
That's not how life works and especially not how things work with women.
Nothing ever goes perfect with women.
That's just the nature of the beast.
But we guys want to get it perfect.
But I try to give guys permission.
Bumble your way through.
It's OK to make mistakes.
It's OK to look foolish.
It's OK to crash and burn.
Just get up, get up and do it again and learn something each time.
Matt: So Robert, for guys listening, what is a nice guy?
I mean, it sounds like it's a good thing.
Why is it not such a good thing, especially if you're a single guy?
Like, what are the characteristics and why is it a problem?
Robert: Yeah.
And whether you're single guy or in relationship, it can be a problem.
So my definition of a nice guy is a guy
who at an early age, internalized inaccurately the belief
that there's something wrong with him and that he's got to hide certain things
about him from the world so he doesn't get a negative reaction and try to become what
he thinks other people want him to be to get like love, get his needs met,
which, of course, later in life, one of those meets is being sexual.
And and so the nice guy is a chameleon.
He's out there trying to please people looking for external validation and hiding
all those things about himself that, again, might get a negative reaction.
And in most cases, the two things that nice guys hide
the most are their needs and wants and their sexuality.
Try attracting a woman, hiding your needs and wants and your sexuality.
It doesn't work. So what happens?
So kind of bringing this fast forward
to dating is what most guys then do is resort to what I call nice guy seduction,
because they don't believe a woman would be attracted to them and want to be
with them just the way they are because of their internalized beliefs.
That "I'm not good enough!" Is that they have to seduce using nice guy tendencies.
So, you know, be really nice and sweet
and not be like the jerks they've heard women complain about.. Hide their sexual agenda.
This is really you know, most of what nice guys do is is ironically ineffective.
So, you know, I know I want a woman
to like me and maybe one day get naked with me.
So I'll hide the fact from her that I have
any sexual desire for her, you know, because that'll make me a bad guy
and that'll make the woman not want to be with me.
So nice guys.
Listen to the woman talk.
They try to help her solve her problems.
They pay her car payment.
They help her sister move.
They you know, they become what I call
a "girlfriend with a p***s" or typically is as we would hear it..
Is that they end up in the friend zone.
And, you know, and if they ever do get
the nerve up to ask the woman out, the woman, it's like surprise.
Like "What? No, you're my friend.
I had never even thought of you that way."
And the woman's telling the truth because
the guy has hidden so many parts of himself and tried so hard to please the woman
by trying to do the things he thinks that he's come to believe will make a woman
interested in him, usually by being different than the bad men he's heard his mother or other women
complain about, and so he has no life energy,
there's nothing inherent about him that will just attract the feminine,
that will create polarity, that will draw to him what he wants.
So he has to go and try to make it happen.
And and then typically,
when that doesn't work well and if he's lonely enough and they'll go online
and start finding, you know, the pickup related stuff.
So he know. I know.
I'll just find a few tricks, some hypnosis.
This will get women to to want to be with me.
So then they become what I call "geeks with techniques" - is "I'll do this and women
will want to be with me".. I'll do this and I'll do this.
But he's still not being himself.
There's no him there in that.
And so for me, the most fundamental thing I believe men can do to be attractive
to all things feminine, whether that's opportunity, adventure,
money, women, dogs, cats, babies, whatever is to to to be yourself.
And as I was sharing earlier, to get comfortable in your own skin,
to live life on your terms, to become a social animal,
to get out there and just start living a big life and living that big life is
amazingly attractive to everything that's not nailed down.
Matt: Hey, man, I hope you enjoyed this episode.
Make sure to subscribe to this channel so that you can watch the other episodes
from the Robert Glover interview and make sure to hit that Bell notification icon.
And listen, man, if you want to go deep and really get this part of your life
handled, then I highly recommend either one of our live programs.
I'll put a link to our boot camp schedule down below.
We're traveling all over the world and we
and we help you become the best, most attractive version of yourself.
Client: Being able to be with the women
was so critical because it's one thing to do it with guys, but to actually see it
done with women, that that was the best part
because I was practicing the real thing with real women.
You couldn't do that at any other boot camp.
So, you know, this is the best investment a guy will ever make, period.
Matt: So I recommend that you click the link down in the description to apply
for a free breakthrough session, where you'll hop on a phone call with one
of our team members and we'll assess your situation.
We'll see where you're at right now, where you want to be and see if we can get
you there in the fastest and easiest way possible.
I'll put a link to it at the end of this video on the right side.
So click that link and let's get this part of your life handled for good.
And if you got questions, feel free to follow me and hit me up on Instagram.
Send me a D.M. I would love to chat with you.
Give me a thumbs up if you like this video.
I really appreciate it.
And leave me a comment down below.
Let me know what you thought of this video.
Let me know who else you love to see us interview or any thoughts or ideas
you have, leave a comment. Again, my name is Matt Artisan
and from The Attractive Man, and I'll see you in the next video.