- We're gonna debate it.
- Then masticate it.
- Let's talk about that.
(bright upbeat music)
(fire crackling)
- Good mythical morning!
- Please welcome one of the co-founders of SoulPancake,
and host of the podcast Metaphysical Milkshake
with Reza Aslan, our friend, Rainn Wilson.
- Yeah!
Whoo!
- All right, Rainn.
- Welcome to the show, man!
- Hey.
- What is your favorite nonmedical,
(Rhett laughs)
or metaphysical milkshake?
- (laughing) Nonmedical.
- Nonmedical milkshake.
- I've had a medical milkshake.
- I've never had a medical milkshake, that sounds delicious.
- A medicinal milkshake.
- Um, like blood, - You know, if you can't,
if you need a liquid diet.
- Oxycodone.
(Rhett and Link laughing)
- My favorite nonmetaphysical milkshake is, you know,
I like the ones with, I'm partial to the ones
with peanut butter in them.
- Yeah, that's my favorite! - Right?
- You're on the right show.
- No, not even chocolate, just peanut butter.
- Something with the peanut butter in it
is always just like, "Oh, that's good."
It satisfies.
- Well, I don't know if we're going to get
any of that today.
- Please, come on.
- But we know you like to dabble in--
- I'm out.
(Rhett and Link laughing)
- You like to dabble in philosophy, ethics,
and you like milkshakes, so we got just the game for you.
It's time for 'Chews Wisely with Rainn Wilson.'
- Here's what's gonna happen, we're going to be presented
with two seemingly identical milkshakes,
and each round, we hope to choose the good shake,
of course, that means there's also going to be a bad shake.
- Uh-oh.
- How bad?
I don't know.
Do we have to chew it?
I don't know.
- Okay, here's what we did.
We asked you Mythical Beasts what you would do
in a range of hypothetical, moral dilemmas
and now we have to guess what the majority of you answered.
Each answer is represented by a milkshake,
and to make our choice, we gotta sip the shake
we think corresponds to the right answer.
- Why are you making that face?
- (groaning) It's just, I don't know, like,
I picture you guys with a bad milkshake
with like dead bugs and tar in it.
- Don't picture you guys, picture us.
- I think tar is poison.
- All right, we're in this together,
but this will make you feel better.
The winner gets a metaphysical mind read from Rainn Wilson.
- Whoo! - Hey, all right!
- Let's play.
(synthwave music)
- Okay, here is our first moral dilemma.
You are forced to choose between learning exactly
when and how you die
or when and how your loved ones will die.
You must choose one but you cannot share the information.
Which do you choose?
- Okay, and let's reveal what's at stake here.
Okay, it looks to be some sort of,
just like a vanilla shake type of thing.
- Yeah, yeah. - Pretty innocent.
- This one represents-- - They look kind of delicious.
- Knowing when you, when and how you're going to die
and if you drink this, that means that you think
that they voted that they would prefer to find out when--
- To know when their loved ones are dying.
- So, and I assume we're talking about, like, a loved one.
- Well, it's your loved ones, that sounds like
your wife, and parents, and cousins.
- So let's say your immediate family.
- I try and limit my loved ones, it just complicated.
- Yeah, you have a very small, tight circle of loved ones?
- Let's say your immediate family.
- [Rainn] Okay.
- I feel like if you, if you're wanting to know
about yourself, isn't that more selfish?
Or is it?
- Hold on, think, play it out.
If you knew, like, when your
wife was going to die,
and you couldn't tell her--
- And you can't share it, that's the whole thing.
It's the not sharing that presents the moral dilemma
because if I knew when my wife or parents
were going to die and I'm like hanging out with them,
and I'm thinking like Thursday, June 20th,
and I can't tell them, then that,
then I couldn't live with that.
- I would choose myself.
I would choose to know myself. - I would absolutely
choose myself.
- Oh, really? Y'all are selfish.
- I don't think it's selfish,
I think it's actually less selfish.
- I think it's less selfish because I can't,
I couldn't live and not be telling my loved ones
when they were gonna die if I had that information.
- Did they think it through like this?
- I think so. - Let's each take our straws.
- Are you gonna go with the left one?
- You make good points.
- Yeah, we made great points.
- I wanna make the most of,
I wanna make the most of my relationships.
- Okay, poop or get off the pot here.
- Yeah, okay. - All right?
- Three, two, dink it,
- [All] and sink it.
(disgusted noises)
- Pretty, good, this is pretty good.
- Salty!
- Not bad.
- It's a salt milkshake.
(Rainn laughing)
- [Stevie] It is, because 67% of the Mythical Beasts
said that they would choose to learn how they would die.
- Yeah, 'cause you're all right.
Well, two-thirds of it.
(synthwave music)
- Remember, drink some water.
I have the next (metallic clang) ethical dilemma.
Ooh. - Oh, nice.
(metallic clang).
- Nice. - Uh-huh.
- Has a nice ring to to it. - Right.
- With the press of a button, you have the ability to end
all illness and disease in the world forever.
- Done.
- However, by pushing this button,
you will also in turn prevent
the human race from any further technological advancements
beyond the date the button is pressed.
- Ooh.
- Do you press the button or not?
Let's see what shakes are at stake.
- Wow.
Ugh, no.
- Oh, it's just strawberry.
Maybe?
- [Rainn] Oh, strawberry and carrot.
- [Link] I bet it's a hot shake.
- I've got a pretty strong opinion about this.
- Wow.
- I feel like, and I'm like a, I'm a futurist guy.
I'm, you know, I'm all about the, you know, who is it?
Zoltan Ashvan, what's his name?
- Zoltan.
- Zoltan who's always, he's always running for president.
He's the, what do they call him?
The transhumanist candidate.
- I don't know this guy. - Yeah.
- Can you get him on the show?
- (sighs) Well, that might be too far.
(Rhett laughing)
- He needs to be on your show.
- Oh, yeah.
- He is a super interesting guy.
- Yeah, we can get him on to your show.
- So, I'm all about, like, moving forward the technology
but why are we doing it, right?
Isn't one of the reasons we're doing it to
basically improve life for humanity?
- [Rainn] Sure, yeah.
- So if we can press a button and get rid of all the stuff
we're trying to get away from, then it's kind of like,
"Sure, we'll be fine with iPhone 10s, or 11s, or whatever.
"We don't need a 12."
- Yeah, but no space travel?
- And you don't know what we could unlock.
- What?
A cure to all diseases?
Hey, I already got it, I pressed the button!
- Okay, so, here's what I think.
So, I think
that if I had that ability,
I would press the button.
- What if you--
- But I think the right thing is to not press the button,
but I think the voters voted--
- [Rhett and Rainn] to press the button.
- So I think I'm gonna go for this because I don't want
to taste cat (bleep).
(Rhett and Link laughing)
- 'Cause that's clearly what's in there.
- I believe that they know that
an alien civilization is going to come in war, not peace,
and we'd better hope that we've technologically advanced
enough to keep the human race going
and so, yes, long term,
the suffering quotient has to be.
- No, but the problem is, they're going to give us diseases
when the aliens show up, but not in my world because--
- Alien viruses? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
- We're gonna want to have diseases to give them
because that's how we're gonna do 'em in.
- Oh, boy, I'm really not looking forward to this.
- So we're pressing the button over here.
- Pressing the button.
- Don't press the button.
- Clink.
(Rhett giggles)
- And sink. - And sink.
- Yeah, that's good.
(Rainn moans)
- Oh, thank god.
What did you get?
- It's hot.
(Rhett and Rainn laughing)
- Oh, it's got a little kick, does it?
- Siracha?
- But the thing is, you agreed with me!
- Yeah, but I went with--
- And you were right!
(Rhett and Rainn laughing)
- [Stevie] This one was really close though
'cause only 53% of Mythical Beasts said
that they would press the button.
- It could have been anybody's game!
- We got it, we got it!
- I got freaking dragon breath.
(synthwave music)
- All right, yes, I'm behind, but, hey,
this one's worth three points, - Okay, you can even it out.
- because they're increasing each round.
Rainn? - You've got the dilemma.
- I got the dilemma, all right, here we go.
(clears throat)
Here we go, Mythical Beasts.
Your friend falls into quicksand.
Seven feet away
is the cure for cancer.
(Link laughs)
You'll only have time to either save your friend
or get the cure.
So it's like, "Oh, help me, help me I'm dying!"
Here's the cure for cancer, in this vial over here!
Ah, they're sinking, they're sinking, three, two, one,
you can die for one, which one do you choose?
- Very dramatic!
- Yeah, I acted it out a little bit.
- This is essentially a complicated, a more complex version
of the trolley problem.
- Yeah, this is the trolley.
- Let's see what we've got, Mister Trolley Problem.
- Are you gonna save your friend or are you gonna--
- Save the friend, this looks like a delicious
chocolate milkshake here, maybe some peanut butter in it.
- And I'm always, my consistent answer
to the trolley problem is the most net benefit,
regardless of your-- - [Rainn] I'm with you
- Of your relationship with the person.
- But he's right there staring you in the eye
- I'm always gonna do the cure for cancer.
- It could be my wife, even the other quicksand,
it could be like my wife and mom
(Rhett laughs)
and my dogs
and my dad,
- (laughing) The whole family.
- and Steve Carell, and--
(Rhett and Link laugh)
and I would still choose the cancer.
- Yeah, I'm with you.
- I mean, we could load it,
we could put the whole Office cast in there,
(Rhett laughs)
we'll put you guys. - They had a good run.
- Yeah, you know.
- I've actually, like, mentally prepared myself
for this kind of choice because,
I don't know if this is ever gonna happen,
but because I've thought about the trolley problem,
I'm like, when it happens, I've told my kids, like guys,
when it happens, you're gone.
If I can save more people who I don't know,
that's what I'm gonna do.
That's my moral compass.
- So you have a healthy emotional remove
from your friends and family.
- I mean, my kids can be annoying anyways.
- [Rainn] Sure.
- This one seems like the easiest one so far.
- Oh, really?
Now I'm doubting everything 'cause Link chose it.
(Rainn and Link Laugh)
- It's like, it was so clear to me that (laughs)
- Yeah, I'm just going for this one.
(Rhett laughing)
- What does this one say?
- You should save the friend.
- No, no, I'm going--
- Fine, fine, do it.
Fine, do it.
- No, we're all in on cancer here.
- Dink it. - [Rainn] Clink.
- And sink it.
- Yeah, chocolate.
- Oh, thank God.
(Rhett laughs)
- It tastes hot and salty to me.
- [Stevie] Yep, you should be enjoying
a nice chocolate milkshake right now
because 54% of the Mythical Beasts said that they would
- 54%? - That's all?
- [Stevie] would save the cure for cancer.
- What? - You're kidding me.
- I guess those were really good friends.
- No, but hold on a second. - Yeah.
- There's something really wrong with your fans.
(Rhett and Link laugh)
That forty--
- Let 'em have it
- That 46% would be like, "I need to save Ashley."
(Rhett and Link laugh)
(synthwave music)
- Okay, and the last dilemma, it's a short one.
If you had the chance to go back in time and kill Hitler
as a baby, would you do it?
- Yes, yes!
Where is it?
(Rhett and Link laugh)
- It's not even open yet.
- Yes!
(Rhett laughs)
- Okay, whoa!
You're drinking it?
(disgusted screams and Rhett laughs)
- (laughing) Oh, God.
- I know I just.
- Well, you know what, I'm gonna choose this one.
(Mythical crew laughs)
- Oh my God, that was terrible.
- Hold on, is he faking?
Is he faking?
(Rainn throws up)
(Rhett laughs)
I don't think he's faking.
- How could they not choose to kill baby Hitler?
What are you thinking?
- Yeah, absolutely you would choose Hitler.
- Well, but, apparently that's not the right answer.
- Why are you, why are.
- Hold on, which--
- Why did you?
- 'Cause I thought you were faking.
- Which one did I grab?
I grabbed the right one, right?
- [Stevie] Okay, so yes, - That's some sour.
That's very sour. - [Stevie] So the choice
that the Mythical Beasts made--
- You're crying, that's good.
- [Stevie] was that 57% of them said that they would
not kill baby Hitler.
- What? Why?
- [Stevie] I don't understand that, yeah.
- Who are you anyway?
I don't even know who you are.
- [Stevie] Maybe, maybe, you guys can discuss
why they might have done that but I--
- There is a, I've actually never considered this question,
but I've hear people talk about something related to this,
that didn't make me question it, but I can't remember
the reasoning at this point.
- Well, 'cause it's a little baby.
You might as well let him get a little bit older.
You know, kill him,
you know what, kill him as a toddler.
- Here's what I would do.
- Kill him as a toddler, 'cause, toddlers.
(everyone laughs)
- You're not digging yourself out of that one.
- Like, kill him as a two year old.
- Two year old, that's what--
- I would say--
- When he's most annoying.
- You kill the art school teacher
that didn't let him get into art school.
And then take his place as the head of this art school
and then let Hitler into art school.
- Oh, so you're gonna stay there for a while
in the past.
- Yeah. (everyone laughs)
I'm gonna build a life.
- (laughing) You're gonna have a whole life.
- I'm gonna meet a nice Austrian Fraulein
and have a life.
And why not? - It's either that
or be a baby murderer.
- I think that the idea
is that
(Link laughs)
the whole Nazi thing was bigger than just Hitler
and if you killed Hitler,
someone else would've just done the same thing.
I think that's the argument.
But I'd still kill the baby.
(Mythical crew laughs)
- I can't imagine what the argument is.
It's just like, well that will,
that's unethical to do kind of time travel.
- We're reaching guys.
- Time travel murder.
- Can you help us out here? - We're trying to get inside
your minds, Mythical Beasties but it's not really working.
Rhett, this means that you win, but I do recommend
tasting that sour, it will really wake you up.
- No, I had the good one.
- It'll wake you up.
- I grabbed it from somewhere, it's really good.
- Come on, just give it a shot.
Just give it a shot, give the nastiest shot.
- [Rainn] Oh wow, he's, wow. - [Link] You'll love it.
Be sure to check out SoulPancake
and Metaphysical Milkshake, Rainn's podcast,
which releases new episodes every Wednesday on Luminary.
- And I get my metaphysical mind read
from Rainn 'cause I won.
- You won?
- Yeah, only because you showed me the answer.
- My metaphysical mind read is
your children
are going to
grow up really resenting you
and needing a lot of therapy because of this trolley problem
that you've posed to them - Oh, God.
- and you need to,
you need to heal those wounds
that you've created,
them knowing that their lives are expendable.
- Oh, so I should lie to them, but still kill them
in the event of the trolley problem?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell!
- Now you say, "You know what time it is."
- You know what time it is!
- Hi, I'm Sarah
- And I'm Danny.
- And we're on our honeymoon in Ireland.
- [Both] And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- You know, they make this thing you can put
over a microphone that kind of cancels out the wind.
- A wind buffer.
- I would say they're definitely hiding something.
(Rhett and Rainn laugh)
- Click the top link to watch us play 'Am I the A-hole?'
in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality
is gonna land.
Keep us close to your heart with our Mythical necklaces.
Available now at mythical.com.