Introducing... H3H3 Productions' new family friendly content! *Children Cheering*.
It's great for all ages and every brand!
*Instrumental version of "Farmer in the Dell" plays*
[Whispers] Pepsi!
[Whispers] Pepsi
*Music continues under dialogue*
[Whispers] Pepsi Cola
*Music continues*
Wow Ethan great moves, keep it up. Proud of you.
Make it stop
[Ethan] Ok, before we begin, I'm going to need you to scoot over to the middle.
[Hila] More here?
[Ethan] No, not — every time we make this video, you guys don't see it...
...but I says, 'Hila scoot to the middle!'
[Hila giggles]
Right? So everyone doesn't yell at me for manspreading you.
And then Hila always gets — she says "I LIKE being manspreaded."
Scoot over more.
I don't wanna be fucking manspreading you.
C'mon.
You can do — closer, god dammit!
[Hila] I like to be manspreaded.
[Ethan] Okay, alright.
You guys heard that shit? She likes to be manspreaded!
The women like it!
And then she ends up scooting over here...
Every time eventually, like this...
[Hila] I just — I just try to...
...be on the video without being on the video.
[Ethan] It doesn't work that way, dude!
Everyone just thinks I'm a chauvinistic manspreader, dude!
I can't live with that. That's too much for one man.
[Hila] Ok.
[Ethan] Am I a manspreader? Just for the record.
[Hila] No.
[Ethan] Do you like being manspread?
[Hila] No.
I like to be manspread.
[Ethan] You said yes! Tell them the truth - you like being manspreaded.
Okay, well anyway-
by the end of this video, I guarantee Hila's going to be right here, alright?
*can seal pops with guitar chord underscore*
Would you like... a Pepsi?
[Hila] Yes.
[Ethan] Pepsi is a great beverage that if you've got cancer,
*can seal pops with guitar chord underscore*
hepatitis, AIDS,
*can seal pops with guitar chord underscore*
if your mother didn't love you, if your father went for cigarettes and never came home...
*can seal pops with guitar chord underscore*
Pepsi will cure that.
[Hila] Definitely.
[Ethan] Pepsi... it may seem to be just a sugary, carbonated poison that is canned
to make it look appealing
But it's so much more.
Im'onna crack open a cool Pepsi.
I've been sick lately, I made some shitty videos. [Ethan: out of breath]
Pepsi will cu- will fix that.
It tastes like, um, diabetes. Have you ever tasted diabetes before?
[Hila] No.
[Ethan] 41 grams of sugar in this one can.
That's like, this much sugar, full to the top.
[Sipps Pepsi]
So Pepsi did something really remarkable, over the past week.
They brought this country together in a time when we're so divided between liberals and conservatives.
They made a commercial that everybody hated.
*can popping open w/guitar note underscore*
This commercial was actually so bad, that Pepsi removed it after a couple days.
They certainly spent many millions of dollars on this, and apologized to Kendall Jenner.
It's that bad, they're like "Shit this is an embarrassment to her and everybody."
Which sounds familiar, I feel like we did something.
[Hila] Sounds a little familiar.
*can seal pops with guitar chord underscore*
[Ethan] What's that Pepsi?
You want to put me in a grave at a young age?
You want me to lose my leg to diabetes?
Pepsi is talking to me.
*Dramatic acoustic guitar*
*Ambient crowd noise over guitar and man singing* # Some say never but the never done come
# Yeah, And took our trust
# He's been winning but the -
[Ethan] Somehow they've even made these peace signs look like Pepsi logos.
Which is kind of fucked up because
they're like draw that asso- that a
subconscious association
[Hila] It's funny because it's such a product that like
does no good to anyone
[Ethan] It's a fucking..
it's poi- it's actually poison like
if they cared about youth and the world
they would just be like "we're done we're, we're
closing our shops we don't make Pepsi
anymore we care too much about this planet."
*Song and vocals resume: # Yeah, not on my watch
# Yeah, if ya took all my rights away Yeah, if ya tellin' me how to pray
# Yeah, if ya won't let us demonstrate Yeah, wro-oh-ong
# We are the lions - #
[Ethan] So, okay they're here at this protest and
they've got all these Pepsi peace signs
right this is some hardcore shit, these
protesters are walking around with signs
that say join the conversation
We don't know what we're protesting or why we're
here but love peace and join the
conversation all in a light blue Pepsi
color. Protesting! : a nice little weekend
hobby brought to you by Pepsi
*Music and vocals resume: # Yeah, if ya
# Tellin' me how to pray
# Yeah, if ya
# Won't let us demonstrate, wro-o-ong. We are the lions, we are the chosen,
# We gonna shine out, the dar- #
[Ethan] *singing* If you taking my rights away
If you telling me when I can't drink Pepsi
It's like, dude, tone it down on the song
Who wrote that song, like
somebody really cared about the message
of that song and Pepsi's like "I'll take that
and I'll give you this! Pepsi cola!"
*Music resumes* # We ah-ah-are #
[Ethan] This setting is weird
[Hila] So weird, I don't understand that
[Ethan] These people are just
like eating lunch and drinking Pepsi,
they didn't even fucking look over at the protest
[Ethan] It's like this shit happens
everyday in this weird dystopian future
where everyone just protests for fun and
drinks Pepsi
*Music resumes over noises of crowd* # We are the chosen,
# We gonna shine out, the dark
# We are the movement, this generation,
# You better know, who, we are, #
[Hila] So she's just noticing now that
there's a protest happening?
[Ethan] Yeah well she was there and she's like I don't
honestly care about these plebeian
scumbags, and then this hot asian guy
very diverse looking too, you can't really
tell which country he's from, could be Japan
could be Korea, could be Mongolia, I don't
know he's got a very interesting diverse
look and she's like "oh shit I kinda want to fuck
this guy"
[Hila] You sound jealous.
[Ethan] Well she's, they've got diversity, they've
got sex appeal, and they've got Pepsi
I have Pepsi. I have the most, actually, the most important ingredient in that.
So no I'm not jealous, what why would I be jealous?
*Refreshed exhale of "ahhh"*
*Music resumes* # We are, woah- ohhhh-ooo-whoah-oo"
# We are the lions,
We are the cho - #
*Music stops* [Ethan] Enough of this fake bullshit let's go
join the conversation!
[Hila] She's not actually blonde
[Ethan] That blew my mind.
[Hila] That was such a big reveal.
[Ethan] Dude that was like powerful, I don't know if I'll ever forget that
moment and how she wiped off the makeup -
[Hila] Yeah
[Ethan] I'm over this fake bullshit, let me go
join this completely sanitized
protest about nothing. That the only
discernible thing that matters, is Pepsi.
Fuck this fake shit. This is what's real.
*Music resumes* # Chosen, we gonna shine out, the dark
# Yeah, we are the movement #
[Ethan] It's just so obvious how they're like we
need one of every single type of person
in this world so we don't piss anyone
off and make sure that nobody feels excluded
[Hila] I feel like they just overdid it so
much that it's really transparent [Ethan] It's
what they were trying to do [Ethan] It's so it's like
being slapped in the face and, and and
because it's so obvious you you feel
that they, it's so disingenuous they're
commercializing all these, this stuff
that people actually care about like
protests and trans issues and diversity
and stuff like that and they're just
like let's put it at a commercial about
Pesi because it's cool right now.
*Music resumes* # This generation, you better know who #
[Ethan] This protest is hot, it's happening dude,
they've got coolers full of ice and
Pepsi products at this protest. Is this a
fucking barbecue or a protest
What the hell what kind of protest has coolers of ice and Pepsi?
*Music resumes* # Ohhh, we are the lions,
# We are the chosen,
# We're gonna shine out the dark
# We are the movement,
# This generation #
*Music stops*
*Sodie Pop can opening*
*Cheers, music resumes underneath*
[Hila] She joined the conversation
[Ethan] Dude that's what happened
[Hila] She did it
[Ethan] Guys it's a fucking Cola, tone it down it's just it's
syrup and sugar and soda water
You know be a great alternate ending to this commercial
they just shoot her.
They're like "Do not approach the police line," and they
just gun her down and it ends with
her bloody, bullet-riddled corpse.
She' bleeding out. Pepsi logo comes up, "Live for Now"
*Music*
[Ethan] It looks like his face looks [Hila] Yeah what is that?
like he's saying "I'd fuck her"
I don't like Pepsi at all, this shit tastes horrible
but I'd fuck her.
I thought she was coming onto me
I don't give a shit, are we
going to pepper spray them now?
*Music*
# Yeah if I #
*Music slowly fading*
[Ethan] Man these guys are the worst protesters ever,
like one shooter could gun all them down
[Hila] Is this a commercial for Pepsi or commercial for Gap?
[Ethan] Pfff. Got em'.
Wrecked. *Punch noise* Losers.
[Ethan] Is there any Native Americans here,
I mean seriously what kind of
racist bullshit is this if they make it
look like they're protesting but you
know what's on the other side? The gap.
[Ethan] There's a fifty percent off sale at the
gap and they're all walking towards it.
*Instrumental music keeps fading. Sodie pop cracking open and being poured over clinking ice*
[Ethan] Live for now. Live for now.
Stop.
You're selling poison in a can dressed up
as something else
[Hila] Thats why they're saying
saying live for now
[Ethan] Live for now?
[Hila] You don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow just.
[Ethan] Woowwww. Live for now.
because if you keep drinking Pepsi
there's no telling how long you're gonna
live, live for now so you don't have
to deal with the having one leg
amputated from diabetes from drinking (hoarse) Pepsi
[Ethan] But to be honest, it's been kind
of hard for me lately. I've been going
through some shit. Living for now
doesn't sound like maybe that bad of an idea.
[Hila]: Really?
[Ethan]: I wanna enjoy this Pepsi,
I wanna live for now... Don't wanna
about anything... I, I don't know dude. I just
I just I just I want to go join a protest.
I want to go join the conversation.
[Hila]: I don't think there's any protest today...
[Ethan]: I wanna go join... The protest is wherever I am!
It doesn't matter if there's no cause.
I'm just walking around [Hila] No. [Ethan] walking is called a protest right?
[Hila] No, no. [Ethan] When you walk around in
public and drink a Pepsi that's what a
protest is it doesn't matter as those
people there. [Hila] No. [Ethan] I'm going to go join the
conversation and live for now Hila.
[Hila] That's not how it works. Where are you going?
*Cheerful piano music*
Would you like a Pepsi?
[Man] I don't know
*Cheerful saxophone solo*
*Cheerful piano music*
*Saxophone solo*
*Psssshhh of can opening and Pepsi being poured*
Voiceover [Ethan] "Pepsi."
*Coughing*
*Cheerful saxophone and piano continue playing*
*Music fades*
[Michelle Obama] Wow, Ethan, great moves. Keep it up, proud of you.
*Electronic instrumental theme*