All right, Steve, tell us what's gonna happen first.
Well mate, we're gonna start
with a couple of smaller animals
and like work our way up into some legendary animals.
You really are Australian, aren't you?
(audience chuckles)
I don't know, mate. I can't help it. I was born there.
You guys really did...
Just say "shrimp on the barbie" just once.
Throw a shrimp on the barbie.
[Conan] Thank you. Okay.
(audience cheers)
I mean in Australia, we call them prawns.
Oh, all right. Well, let's get into this.
Let's see the first animal.
We got to get moving here. I want to see some animals.
Okay. Hey, Terry!
First I got to introduce you to my wife.
My wife, all right.
Hi. Hey, how are you?
It's his wife. How you doing? Nice to see you.
Terry, is it Terry?
That's me. Okay.
So I'm gonna wrangle some critters.
You're gonna get-
My gorgeous and courageous wife.
[Terry] That's me.
Yes. Does he always wear shorts wherever he goes?
He wears them in the winter. It's the funniest.
The women like it, but- [Conan] Interesting.
All right, let's do the first animal here.
I'm curious what it is.
[Terry] Okay, let me just do something.
You guys might want to stand back.
(audience laughs)
Okay. Now what is this animal right here?
Let's get it on the desk
so that people can see what this is.
Well, this is a bearded dragon, Conan,
and these are found throughout Australia.
And we've been doing some documentaries with Animal Planet.
And we're on the Dingo Fence,
which is this fence that divides Australia,
keeping dingoes out of sheep land.
There's a fence that goes all the way across Australia?
Mate, it's the longest fence in the world.
And we do this documentary tracking along.
And so, this little bearded dragon's running there
out in the Simpson Desert.
And let's face him this way.
And what they do is they puff out their neck,
and that's a sign of aggression,
you know, stay away from me.
Right, okay. And I've gone down,
and I was talking to this little lizard.
And he's looked at me like that
and gone chomp right on my nose.
Oh really? Yeah.
Can you get them to do that now? I'd love to see that.
(audience laughs)
Try it. (laughter and cheering)
Come on, get Eisenhower. (makes taunting noises)
[Steve] Look out, Eisenhower.
Okay. Aren't they cute?
He's scared of Eisenhower.
He's like, "That guy beat Hitler.
I'm not going to pick a fight with him."
All right, what else you got? We gotta move.
Yeah. You betcha.
We need animals here.
[Terry] Trade ya. [Andy] Will that thing bite?
Yeah, they will bite, yeah.
Have a look at this little beauty. Isn't she cute?
I'll just face it this way
because they actually projectile urinate, and-
(audience laughs)
We've had several guests do that.
(laughing)
You'd be surprised how many.
And this is a snake-necked turtle from Australia.
They're found in fresh water and-
And they shoot their urine? Like how far does it go?
Oh, about from here to your tie, I reckon.
(audience laughs) Interesting.
And a big quantity of it too.
A lot of urine? A lot of urine.
Would you point that thing over that way please?
[Louie] How about when they get older?
(laughing)
I'm not gonna get into that.
When they get older, it doesn't go that far, all right.
[Louie] Can they write their name in the snow though?
(audience laughs)
And the reason I've got this little blighter on the show
is I do scientific research,
and we're out in this crocodile infested river.
And I dived down and caught this turtle.
I'd never seen this turtle before.
Grabbed it, and it was a species undescribed.
So now I've got a turtle named after me. It's called-
[Conan] This turtle? Well, what's that? What turtle?
Elseya irwini.
'Cause your name's Irwin.
Yeah, so they, you know, the old Latin name irwini.
Okay. Very cool. Yeah. Cute, aren't they?
Yeah. I like this end better. (laughing)
All right. Let's see another one.
Let's point it this way. [Terry] Okay, I got it.
What else we got?
We got to get to the crocodile at the very end
and turn it loose on the crowd.
(audience laughs)
[Andy] They've got the whole chain here.
Okay. Now we're talking real animals here. All right.
All right.
(audience oohs and ahhs)
[Louie] My agent showed up. Okay, okay.
Isn't my wife a legend? Yeah.
[Steve] My wife is a legend.
[Conan] That's incredible.
All right, that's great. That's incredible.
Now this is a Burmese Python.
Okay.
Hi.
Which has been a star in one of our shows.
Right, right. Why is he coming this way?
What's the point of that?
Well yeah, it's a female
and is probably attracted to you, Conan, you know, like-
Great, I always get the snake.
(laughing)
Okay, it's wrapping around my rib cage.
Yeah, well these- Oh God! (laughter)
Oh God!
Oh God! (audience cheering)
These are pythons,
and they can strip (audience applause drowns out speech).
(laughing)
The thing with the python is- I owe this python 50 bucks.
(laughing and cheering)
Is it starting to tighten up?
Yeah.
Okay, we gotta- Hang onto that, mate.
Yeah, I got this one. Don't worry.
(audience laughs)
I'll just leave him there. Terry and I are gonna get this.
All right. Well, we're out of time.
We gotta show the crocodile.
Go get the crocodile and let's see them fight or something.
[Steve] You might wanna watch out for your legs, mate.
Crocodile coming out here.
Should a snake be wrapped around me
when a live crocodile comes out?
Isn't that really dumb? Wouldn't the snake panic and-
[Louie] You know, I'm available for a booking next week.
[Conan] Okay. That's great.
(audience laughing lightly)
You guys, you forgot...
You forgot to take this. [Steve] Oh, ah.
[Andy] Oh my God.
What if the snake panics and-
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're all right, sweetheart. You're all right.
(audience chatters)
She's a little bit grumpy, this girl.
You know what?
You have shockingly little control over that animal.
Yeah. (chuckles)
Really, this animal has the capacity to-
[Conan] You're an idiot!
(laughing)
Thank you, thank you. I can't help it.
Have a look at that for tooth structure.
She's got the capacity to tear your legs up, Conan.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I think you're in the worst situation right now.
She's really cute though.
Look, she's got the big Bette Davis eyes,
cute little bottom.
And she's hissing. That's a sign of aggression.
That's like, "Don't muck with me."
Okay, good, good.
And you're the one that's irritating it on national TV.
Absolutely. All right, well-
Isn't she cute? Yes, she's very cute.
We're going to have to take a break right now.
And then in the commercial,
we're going to see you try and get that thing out of here
without being killed, (laughter)
which I think is gonna be really fun.
All right, Steve Irwin.
Thank you very much for being with us.
Give him a hand, everybody. We'll go to break.
[Steve] Thank you. (audience applauds)