Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Ah, gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.
Can you define the parameters of the kiss?
Closed mouth, but romantic.
All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.
Okay, this cereal has lost all its molecular integrity.
L'chaim, l'chaim, to life
Penny!
Little ball of fur
And this is my office.
-Is this part of the tour? -Nope. Goodbye.
Leonard is so smart. Sheldon who?
I guess that makes me large breasts.
Eat this cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister.
Pseudoscientific hokum.
Blah, blah, blah. Typical Taurus.
He was doing a dance
that brought to mind the happy hippos in Fantasia.
The other secret.
-I'm Batman. -Dammit, Sheldon!
Raj, he was dressed as a green Orian slave girl.
Oh, my God. I need help.
I'm gonna to be in People magazine.
Yeah, call me when you're on the cover.
Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food
and split into two Sheldons.
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
Rock, paper, scissors, Lizard Spock!
It's more of a relentless, narcissistic drone.
Leonard, look, Sheldon's hugging me.
People move away from her on the bus.
He almost made it to the top this time.
With a fi-fi-fiddle-dee-dee
Oh, meesa think yousa lookin' so so sad.
Oh!
Great.
Now, can I take one where it looks like we're making out?
-Way aye blow the man down -Way aye blow the man down
So they steamed your dumplings. Get over it.
Oh, blink twice if you're here against your will.
What's wrong, Superman? Locked out of your big ice thingy?
Therefore, he is reborn as a banana slug.
It means, I wish you weren't going.
I just stopped by to say--
I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested.
Have a chocolate.
Let's slide over to Sheldon's spot and make out.
Wheaton!
All right, Poindexter, sit down, shut up and listen.
Face it, that's just a slightly smaller, lonely room
filled with comic books.
Is that my arm?
We have a microcontrolled plasma--
Leonard…
It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon.
Come here.
I'm not scared.
I would have gone all Nebraska on their asses.
Bazinga.
Discover our weaknesses
and report back to your alien overlords.
Yeah?
My precious.
And here's Uranus.
I love you, Penny.
Jews don't have hell. We have acid reflux.
And shake twice for Texas.
-Yes? -I'm Leonard Hofstadter.
-We're gonna have sex! -What? I mean, oh, okay.
It's a deal I made with my mother
in exchange for her silence on the matter.
You're in my spot.
But he's so zazzy.
Oh, my. Can I help?
Bazinga.
At best, you might be a turncoat Ewok.
I'm giving you my spot on the couch.
What is the circumference of your areolas?
I'm a keeper.
Have I spent 7th grade dotting my I's with little asses?
Near-sighted Green Lantern and a teeny tiny Dark Knight.
Nobody knows…
-I could do this for my bestie. -Please don't touch my breasts.
Don't let Spock take me to the future.
Good morning, slut.
Now, let's talk about Priya, that man-stealing bitch.
Oh, I don't think so.
Did you ever notice when he thinks real hard, it smells like bacon?
I took Howard to the beach once. He almost burst into flames.
Yes, I will marry you.
-You will? -You will?
I bet he looks like a spider on a hotplate.
Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.
I told her we were going to get married and she had a heart attack.
Oh, God.
I'm nice to everyone!
-Better? -Yeah, you got it. You got it.
Moustache is looking good there, Sheldon.
I took our love and threw it under his bus-sized mother.
Actually, I had him tested as a child.
Bazinga, punk. Now, we're even.
Everybody hurts
No!
-Who do we love? -Penny.
I platonically love you, man, but face it, you're a mess.
I have a tiara!
Put it on me!
You mean like a date?
Not like a date, a date.
Sheldon Cooper Presents Fun with Flags.
Looking at me? I am brown dynamite.
And… it's still alive. Let's do this.
I ate a butterfly.
Not some hotsy-totsy from Glendale.
Tiny Spock, help.
Great. Another fainter.
Folding a sheet in my underwear… still pretty crazy.
"Ooh, yeah, just like that."
Not, "Will you marry me?"
Don't lose your Froot Loops, Froot Loops.
Have I ever told you you're like a sexy praying mantis?
"In the event of a divorce, please return to Sheldon Cooper."
I'm just a blonde monkey to you, aren't I?
That's one minute.
Oh, is someone a little blue?
Or should I say, "Dr Loser"?
Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents Fun with Flags.
Listen to me. You are the one I'm with.
You know I love you.
Revenge is a dish best served nude.
Thank you, sir.
Call me Mike.
Sometimes the pancreas wants what the pancreas wants.
Molecules.
So, you think just 'cause you're wearing Captain's uniform
you're in charge?
Oh, man!
-So, where are you gonna go? -I was thinking, here with you.
Two can play this game. Penny--
-Get up. -All right.
Give me the number!
Pawing at me like you're a bear and I'm a trash can full of sweets.
Something about me just makes him laugh and laugh.
Now, your wish can't come true.
Lucky for you, 'cause I wished you were dead.
I… I hate that puppet.
Something is nibbling on my…
Fourteen! Yes!
I don't think we should see each other anymore.
How about a hug?
-How about a hearty handshake? -Come on.
Why would anyone claim to be from New Jersey if they weren't?
Caroline
That's the wrong arm for a heart attack, doofus.
…that I met you, Bernadette
I guess, I need him, too.
We played once. I broke a window.
You could never afford a real Elvis.
Bark once if you need me to call PETA.
But I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years.
I could have picked her up.
Vader is here… now.
Well, to be honest, I thought she said "Yoda."
It's not funny anymore, James!
And that stops now.
Damn you and your noise-cancelling breasts.
Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on?
I like the Wii.
Geology is the Kardashians of science.
I'm…
I'm… I'm going to need a Band-Aid.
Penny… will you marry me?
Did you take a marijuana?
Not like us. It's creepy chummy. Like you and your dog.
But guess what? Engineers are just as smart as physicists.
-It was a hook-up. -No… Yeah.
Yeah. How big are those Hadron Colliders?
Entry four. My Kit Kat has melted.
I think the message is,
"Check out the rack on that scientist."
-…dictates that you-- -I love you, too.
"He thought he was right, but his roommate knew better."
You do this, I delete your contact information.
Don't blow too hard. If you pop him, I will vomit.
I can't. My hips don't open wider than 22 degrees.
Taylor was right. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate.
Yeah, but you should see the look on your faces.
To Mrs Wolowitz.
You kidding me? You lost my mother's ashes?
There's actually peanut brittle in here--
Have you guys ever noticed that sometimes Bernadette
sounds like my mom?
Doesn't get him into your bedroom, nothing will.
I'll get the blankets, you Google how to have child-like fun.
Turn left at Alpha Centauri. You can't miss it.
And I wipe my bottom with warrantees.
Oh, my son.
What do I do with this one?
-Is that the song from Toy Story? -He loves that movie.
Amy broke up with Sheldon.
She got her ears pierced and she made us eat penis cookies.
-Thor and Dr Jones -Thor and Dr Jones
Oh, God. I am going to feel this tomorrow.
He has glasses and I'm a know-it-all.
We are not built for prison.
Instead, she rejected me. And am I emotional about that? No.
You missed the deadline, so thanks for playing.
I think I need to just be your friend.
What I'm trying to say is… you're my heartworm.
We can find out together.
You decide what makes you happy,
not you're emotionally withholding mothers.
Leonard, I'm dying.
I just gave you my virginity, woman.
Cool your jets.
I just blink a lot.
It's not Morse code for "rescue me."
-You got it -Bust a move
You want it
You know, I used to hate these hugs.
Once I found a stash of contracts under his bed. It was weird.
When I come out of the closet, I'm gonna nail those guys!
I can't believe you've been arrested.
I can't believe Penny hasn't.
I like a party as much as the next man.
As long as the next man doesn't like a party.
I like my grapes the old-fashioned way,
in a juice box.
There's a long line he'd rather stand in.
I'm telling you, I'm not on drugs. The government's out to get me!
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
What we use it for is none of your business.
Yeah, I had no idea.
Caltech is exactly like my high school.
I told you raccoons don't say "uh-oh."
I can do this. Just give me a moment. Mommy!
Why would she keep something from me?
I shared my body with that woman.
What happened to you?
Rock, rock, water fountain.
Well, my go-to move is usually sleep with the person's boyfriend.
That one.
The unsocialised eccentric my mother always thought I was.
Damn. I burped so hard, I died in my game.
-Turns out, I was being offensive. -So, normal.
-Ready to get crazy? -The bra under here ain't beige.
You didn't see that.
Howard.
-Can I see that? -Of course.
Hey, Sheldon's back!
Sheldon!
Behind the Flags: A Retrospective Retrospective.
I'm on a unicycle.
No bendy straw. Some party.
Will you marry me?
And the last time I assumed a woman was pregnant,
it did not go over well.
I got flip-flops.
What did you do last night?
I had Cuban food.
Well, you're sitting there with a book.
It felt like anything was possible.
Wheaton!
It's Wil Wheaton.
No one's going to take me seriously
if they find out I've been dabbling in geology.
Why would the military want Sheldon?
Target practise?
Batman flash drive?
Except they're looking for dark matter.
I wasn't even looking for you.
Stuart's… never invited to parties.
Oh, that's much better. Sorry, Stuart, you're out.
Girls like you are why I had to come straight home after school.
I believe… you're right.
-Does it hurt? -Everything you do hurts.
Too deep is a ladle, not a spoon.
How about a hug?
How… How about a tissue?
Once it touches hiney, it's no longer miney
-Should we get her home? -Why?
She's sound asleep, and we have sliders coming.
You know, Thor's hammer's pretty powerful.
It would mean a lot to me to have my big brother at my wedding.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Good morning, wife.
How is this big glass shaft going to aid our marriage?
Sheldon's DNA plus my DNA
equals a kid who knows how to make friends.
You're taking his side, you scurvy dog.
Mansplaining is when a man explains things to a woman
like she's stupid.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
How about I start calling you "Old Lady Green Beans"?
There's only one woman
who gets to touch my no-no parts and she's right here.
Hello! I'm the great Howdini.
You're right. We're way too close.
Leonard, would you be the father of our baby?
Oh, you said a thing.
-We did it! -We did it!
Keep eating Bert!
Leonard wants to have a baby with my ex-boyfriend, Zach.
-You're William Shatner. -You can call me Bill.
-Can I call you Captain? -No.
Really made me think about our future children.
You're imposters and you're frauds!
Anything has a number if you assign it a number,
friend number four.
Oh, come on!
It's like talking to me, but with a girl voice.
We won the Nobel Prize!
I love you all.