Hey everybody, today's video is all about how to
tell a loved one about our mental illness.
Now, the first thing I want to talk about is
making sure you understand and agree with your
diagnosis. Know that when a therapist or a psychiatrist
or a psychologist or whomever you are seeing, gives you
a diagnosis and says "Hey, Susie Johnson, you
have major depressive disorder." Make sure you understand it and that you think it's the right
diagnosis for you. Something that I always tell my
clients is I am never going to know your symptoms
as well as you because I'm not experiencing them
and so make sure that you are telling your clinician,
whoever you're seeing, all that you're feeling and all of
you're symptoms. And if they give you a diagnosis,
you can ask, "Hey, can we walk through how that's
diagnosed. I want to make sure, that that's what I'm
struggling with and that I understand what that
diagnosis means." Because those two components are
really important if we are going to tell a loved one about
it. I want to make sure that, firstly, agree with your
diagnosis and then understand what that really means.
And also as a side note, once you agree with a
diagnosis and you think it's right for you. Ask for
different resources, information. You can do research
online. Find out all about it, so you better understand
what it's like, what it can feel like and how you can
get better treatment for it. The second thing I want to
mention is figuring out who to tell because truthfully
you don't have to tell anybody, if you don't want to.
So don't let anybody pressure you or make you feel like
you have to. This is something that should only be
done if you feel that it will help you in some way.
Either, get you extra support because you're needing it
or it'll help in your process, maybe they're a person that
is part of what you're working on in therapy and you
want to bring them in. Or maybe you're needing some
help getting to therapy or paying for therapy. Those can
all be reasons that we might want to tell somebody else.
So, just consider that and know that you don't have to
tell anybody, if you don't want to. But another component
of this that I want to address is work. And I want you to
be very careful about whether or not you share that
information at work, at all. That means with colleagues,
bosses, anybody because there are some, you have legal
rights and there are some things that you can get some
benefits. You can get through work if you do have a
mental illness or some kind of disability in some form.
You can look into that and ask at H.R very nonchalantly
about what their benefits are so you better understand.
But weigh it very carefully before sharing that
information because the last thing that I would want to
have happen is someone to talk through the grapevine
and get it back to someone else. And make them think
that you aren't able to do your job and you lose your job
or something terrible like that happens. So just weigh
and measure what will benefit you because in the end
that I hope the whole message that you're receiving
is that, doing this should be something that it is done
because it benefits you and your treatment.
My third tip is, practice makes perfect. And I've said this
a lot of times on my livestreams and different ways
when I've talked to you about telling someone you love
about your mental illness but we have to practice it.
And I say this because sometimes telling someone can
be stressful. We may go blank, what was it I was going
do. Or we may, what I call "Verbal Diarrhea", where we're
like, "So , there's this time when I was sixteen and I was doing this thing and it was so stressful and I wonder if
that maybe cause it" And we just tell them everything
about us at once. And it can be too much for them
to even hear. Let alone, completely understand and so I
would encourage each of you, if you are wanting
to tell a love one about this to start some bullet points
of what you feel they need to know. Do you want them to
know the real name of the diagnosis itself, do you want
them to know what it feels like for you and what maybe
the limitations you have. And then I would also, like
almost always add in a bullet point when you're making
this list of what you want may need from them. Like if
it's a friend, you can just say, "You know, and really why
I'm telling you this is just because I need some support"
And that's okay. Or if it's a parent, you can say "The
reason I'm telling you this is just because I'm really going
to need you to help me get to therapy, or I'm hoping you
could help me pay the Copay for this." Or whatever it
may be. Put that on your bullet point list. Try to keep
it short, so they can hear you, they can understand
what's happening and they can know what you need
from them. And then, obviously like I said, it's called
practice makes perfect. Practice saying it out loud, by
yourself or with a friend or maybe in your car when
you're driving. And imagine what you think that person is
going to say back. So that you're better prepared for the
conversation. Once we've done that a few times, and
know that you can bring your list with you and read
it directly off of it, if you need to because it's there to
make sure that you get out what you need to get out
but doing it and saying it many many times makes us so
comfortable with it that we can spend less time worrying
about what we're saying and more time connecting
with the person and making sure they understand it.
And the last part of this that I am going to mention is
being able to give them time to respond. Not everyone is
going to understand what a mental illness is. Not
everyone is going to accept your diagnosis or understand
exactly, what it is you're needing from them. So that's
why we practice, that's why we prepare ahead because
it's going to be important that you're able to give them
that time. I know it's hard, I know it can be
uncomfortable. But it can take people a little while to
come around and say "Thanks for sharing that with me.
I'm more then happy to help." Or give you whatever
response they're able to give. But we have to be willing
to give them that time. And lastly, you can offer up
resources and pamphlets and information. I would
maybe have some available when you plan on telling
them because if someone doesn't understand then at
least we can give them some information, NAMI, is a
great resource for that. I'll link that in the description.
You can find a lot of information about mental health
and different mental illnesses on their site and how
loved ones can help. And also, my YouTube channel. I
explain a lot of different diagnoses; what they mean,
how we can treat them and hopefully I'm offering up a
better understanding. So that your love one can fully
grasp what you're going through and offer up their best
support. I hope you found this helpful, so many of you
have asked for this video. And I hope that you find it
useful. And leave in the comments if I have missed
something. If you think there is another step or another
thing that you should do when telling a loved one
because together we work towards a healthy mind and
a healthy body. Am I right? And if you are new to my
channel, click here to subscribe and make sure your
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homepage when you subscribe. Turn those on and I will
see you next time. Bye!