Huggins: That's a big uh...
Is this the heart of a black hole?
Hard to believe one of these things killed my parents...er it has heart?
Can the black hole love?
Purple light: No dear, that's just the Big Bang.
Huggins: (gasp) Purple light: Pre-Bang, obviously-
Huggins: Mom?!
Huggins Mom: Mom? That's a name I haven't heard in a long time!
Huggins Dad: (laughs) Sharp!
Huggins: (gasp) Dad!?
Huggins Dad: Please, "Dad" was my father's name. Call me Gerald!
Huggins' Mom: (groans)
Huggins: Oh nooo, I'm dead aren't I?
Huggins Mom: What? Sweetie, no-
We can't die, light is information and can't be destroyed.
Huggins: Yes, knew it!
Huggins Mom: Black holes are sort of drains... that feed the cosmos all the way back to here. It let's the universe... loop.
Huggins: Whoooaaa....
Gerald: (laughs) Don't blow the kid's mind Cheryl!
Cheryl: Oh, sweetie, I didn't blow your mind, did I?
Huggins: WHOA!
Gerald: Where's your brother? He should be here.
Huggins: Muggins? I dunno, one of the Cosmic Powers trapped me here!
Remember those guys?
Gerald: ...Nope!
Maybe he's just late!
Cheryl: Late? The whole universe should be in here.
Oh! Maybe there's a blockage in the timeline, Gerald would that do it?
Gerald: (laughs) Yeah that'd do it!
Cheryl: Huggins, You should really check on Muggins.
Huggins: Fiiiiine! How?
Cheryl: Just fly at full speed.
Gerald: Close to full speed, or you'll overshoot.
Huggins: Uh... what?
Cheryl: At light speed, you don't experience time.
So move at nearly the speed of light and time will accelerate. You can watch galaxies bloom and fade in real time, it's really nice.
Gerald: Now Hugs, if there's a blockage in the timeline you'll get stuck in it like a spider's web.
Do you know where that might be? Can you think of any paradoxes you might have stirred up?
Huggins: No, I..
Oh.
OOOOHH!
Those son's of bitches!
Both: Language!!
Huggins: Okay! Mom, Dad I gotta go.
I know when that paradox is. Something's crazy wrong.
Gerald: Darn tootin'! Muggins ain't here!
Cheryl: When's your brother getting here, Huggins?
Huggins: Okay, bye!
Cheryl: So long, have fun! Gerald: Bye honey!
Sister: Okay, Tucker's passed out, you know what that means?
Doc: First we monitor his condition, so that-
Sister: No, doctor boring. I'll start at the top:
Someone has to tell Tucker that we caused a paradox and are reliving our old lives.
Doc: I would appreciate an explanation of that actually!
Sister: However, Tucker is going to wake up and will look at me, a person he does not know yet somehow recognizes, and be like "byuh".
Doc: "byuh"? Sister: "duh hey, why do I recognize you?"
And I'll say "it's cuz I mostly made of you, ya sucker! We took your fuckin' organs!"
Doc: We're not doing that!
Sister: Or.. okay.
He just gave birth to this alien tumor- thing right?
Junior: Blarg! Doc: Sure.
Sister: So we convince him that aliens are invading!
Doc: uhhhh- Sister: Through his ass!
Doc: Why would we do that? There's been enough going on down there already!
Sister: ...For funsies.
Doc: Can we not just give him the care we'd give any new mother!?
Sister: Oh, I hear what you're saying.
I'm the child he gave birth to. A "little coma baby Kai"!
Doc: No! Sister: "Hi dad! It's me, your coma baby! And I want cash!"
Doc: Ya' know, I get the feeling you and Tucker have unresolved issues.
Sister: Okay Doc, like we practiced: wake him up...
Sarge: Motion to feed Donut through Sheila's treads for treason!
Donut: I'd like to plead NOT GUILTY, please!
Sarge: Pleas from a TRAITOR like you are about as significant as whatever abstract shape I'm gonna grind you into!
Washington: Sarge- Sarge: "Sarge" what? This slice of pink-frosted butt-cake has been on display for too long!
The boys gone stale...
Washington: Donut saved all of us, you included.
Sarge: I do not subscribe to that reality!
Simmons: Did Donut really do that? Donut, did you... save us all?
Donut: Well, I don't know about all that-
Sarge: Boy doesn't even know about it, you heard him!
Grif: I'm sorry but dude, you betrayed us! You stole the Hammer. What the fuck?
Washington: We were trapped. We're now free. You and I are no longer in a weird time-limbo and WE OWE DONUT. We owe him big time.
Grif: Whatever. Sarge: I have five bucks but I want change.
Donut: (sigh)
Grif: Now can someone please tell me why I'm in Blood Gulch?
Caboose: Uh, Wash, Donut, can you fill this one? I am going to start fixing the timeline. Boop.
(Everwhen zapping)
Washington: Is...
Is Caboose a genius?
Sarge: If he is, I'd just prefer not to know...
Washington: Hmm. Well, you heard him. Let's get everyone up to speed.
Speaking of everyone where..
Are they?
Sister: How are his vitals? Doc: Fine.
Sister: And his life signs? Doc: It's the same thing!
Tucker: W-Who is that?
Sister: Good god, amnesia!? I'll fix my medical tire iron. Nurse, help him up!
Doc: Nurse? Sister: Thank you ,sweetpea!
Sister: (to Tucker) Lavernius you've been out for some time, how many guns am I holding up?
Tucker: One? Sister: Very good.
Sister: (to Doc) We're gonna have to put him down. Tucker: I was just having a baby!
Sister: In THIS economy!? He's delirious.
Tucker: Don't I know you?
Sister: Yeah, you do I'm afraid.
You see, I was going to wait until you recovered to tell you but, Tucker... I'm you!
Tucker: What?! Sister: FROM THE FUTURE!
Doc: ...I'm leaving. Tucker: Is this is a prank? Sarge!
Sister: The future is all ladies all the time, you included.
And if you're gonna live to see that promised land, I gotta rescue you Tucker. You wanna know why?
Tucker: Fuck off.
Sister: You are in Purgatory, Lavernius.
And you gotta break out of Purgatory!
Tucker: I am not! Sister: Welcome to Limbo motherfucker.
Junior: Blarg! Tucker: What was that?
Junior: Honk! Tucker: AGH!
Sister: That's uh.. it's-it's a demon! Cuz we're in Limbo, remember?
Junior: Honk? Sister: You died in childbirth.
Tucker: WHAT? OH GOD!
Sister: No God here, Tucker. Tucker: Jesus!
Sister: No Jesus here! Just you, this here perspective vagina and eternity with the demons baby boy!
Junior: Honk! Tucker: Aaugh!
Sister: You can escape, I can show you how but you have to trust me.
Junior: BLLAAAARRRGGG! Tucker: Oh God! Oh God!
Huggins: Blood Gulch.
Historic home to the Shisno.
Jeez... Grif lived here?
Hmm, looks like he had neighbors. That must have been nice.
Oh. Nobody's here yet.
(light whizzing)
Huggins: There!
Hey you! Why'd you make a paradox ya butt!?
Caboose: Hello. Huggins: Wait. Hnn... wrong person.
Huggins: Uh Huggins, you idiot! It's the past, they haven't done it yet! Oh no, what am I gonna do...?
Caboose: Uh, hello, um pardon me? We did it to save our friend, Wash I kinda thought you knew that.
Huggins: You..
Caboose: Uh y'know cause you went away all mad?
Huggins: I.. did?
Caboose: Yeah when we were at the God place together? In the future...?
Huggins: How can you know that!?
Okay, Caboose right?
Caboose: Yes. Thank you for remembering.
Huggins: Today, I found out my parents aren't dead, black holes make the universe loop.
Caboose: Time is made of circles, I am familiar with the concept.
Huggins: And now you seem to know... the future?
Caboose: Yeah, really good at card tricks now.
Huggins: Okay, this is whelmed.
This is overwhelmed.
And this is where my ass is at!
(sigh) Can we talk?
Caboose: Yeah, ok, but I have to kill my best friend in an hour, so, ya'know...
Tucker: Doc! I'm a phantom and I have unfinished business on Earth.
Doc: Oh dear God... Tucker: I have to come clean.
Doc: Tucker, Sister's just trying to-
Tucker: I seduced your mother.
Doc: ...Say what now?
Tucker: You said... I dunno, something I didn't like and so I looked up "Mom" in your phone and... well, ya'know.
And then I told everyone she had tits like icing bags. And that she's so fat, that when she walks on the beach, she leaves glass footprints! (laughs)
Doc: Hey, you should go tell everyone else your unfinished business too.
Tucker: Thanks man. I'll miss you.
Donut: (inaudible grumbling)
Tucker: Donut, I'm dead.
I'm sorry I always mocked your alternative lifestyle and I-
Donut: (monotonously) We helped prevent Wash's injury, causing a paradox and now you're trapped in your past.
That's Carolina. That's Wash. You should ask yourself how you know them, even though you haven't met them yet.
Sister: No!
Donut: Me and Doc betrayed everyone and no amount of ATONEMENT SEEMS TO FIX IT!
(Everwhen zapping)
Tucker: Oh fuck you, Kaikaina!
Sister: Muwahahaha!
Present Doc: Holy moley! I survived falling off a skyscraper!
Donut: Wait! Doc? You're not dead!?
Doc: Yeah! I gu-I mean, I guess not.
Donut: I fought you through time and space!
Doc: Yeah! Man, you did so great! That was such a fun fight! It was like "uh- punching," wow!
Donut: You're damn right.
Goddamn, right it was!
All right, you FUCKERS! Listen up!
Simmons: What...?
Donut: I have *had it* with this *traitor* crap!
You all think you're better than me, cuz I have *PINK* armor!
Sarge: Whoa!
Donut: Yeah. I said it! I'm *owning* it! *PINK*!
You put me down, sideline me, leave me to rot, shoot me over and over!
Washington: Sorry!
Donut: And when I die *HORRIBLY* at the hands of some time god and come back with the *EXPLICIT TASK* of saving your lives!
And when I'm the only person, the *ONLY* person, with *ANY* interest in preserving the universe while your *dumb-asses* wander off and break time itself!
Carolina: Sorry!
Donut: SHUT UP!
All you can think to do after I fight O'Malley across time, space, World War 2, the moon and a labyrinth prison inside of a black hole, is *execute me*!?
Sarge: VOTE to execute you!
Donut: You wanna know what my crime was? Huh? You wanna know what I did? How I slipped up when I trusted Chrovos?
I believed, someone could like me.
Sister: ...woof.
Donut: So when I teach you all how to time travel and thwart Genkins, I'm out!
Next time you're stuck in your boring-ass lives with your ugly decor and drab fashion sense, cry to some *other* Shisno!
(yelling and angrily) PINK!
Washington: (sternly) You are all going after him and apologizing.
(all grumbling and muttering)
Sarge: Did I hear right that I can time travel?
Washington: First, apology!
Sarge: (grunt)
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