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- [Narrator] Hey Psych2goers, welcome back to another video.
Have you ever heard of the term gaslighting
or have you been gaslighted by someone?
Simply put, gaslighting is a simple
and often overlooked kind of psychological abuse.
It's a form of emotional manipulation meant to deceive you
and make you doubt your own sanity
and perception of reality.
And because of its insidious nature, unfortunately,
gaslighting can be difficult to spot, especially up close.
But you can better protect yourself against gaslighting
by learning how it works
and becoming familiar with how gaslighters operate.
With that said, here are seven common phrases
gaslighters often use to manipulate others.
Number one, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Have you ever confronted someone about something
and they say, "What, what are you talking about?"
You're speechless, taken aback.
You start to explain yourself,
but they deny knowing anything so unrelentingly
that you feel like you should just shake your head
and brush it off instead.
"Oh, sorry, I must've just gotten confused,"
you'll say with a hesitant smile.
And just like that they've planted the seed of self-doubt
that will make it easier and easier
for them to gaslight you each time they do,
all by simply denying what they've done
and acting so sure of themselves
that they've convinced you too.
Number two, 'You're overreacting,"
or "You're being too sensitive or emotional."
Has anyone ever told you that maybe you're just overreacting
and not thinking clearly when you were upset with them,
or that you need to lighten up or stop being so sensitive
when you called them out for something
they said or did to hurt you.
Don't let those people get to you.
Invalidating someone's feelings by treating them
as if they're in the wrong is a manipulation tactic
gaslighters often use to pin the blame on you
instead of themselves.
Number three, "You're imagining things,"
or "That's not what happened at all."
What makes gaslighting so dangerous
and psychologically damaging is the fact
that it can make us doubt our own memories and experiences,
sometimes to the point
where we don't know what to believe anymore.
And it all starts with this deceptively simple phrase.
"You don't know what you're talking about.
"Let me tell you what really happened."
People who talk down to you like this
are most likely trying to gaslight you.
So be careful and always remember.
There's a difference between letting someone
tell you their side of the story
and letting them feed you lies.
Number four, "You're not making any sense."
Whenever you argue with a gaslighter,
it's hard to come out on top
because they're always going to try
and turn the tables on you.
"You know you sound crazy, right?"
"Can you even hear yourself?"
That's a common form of manipulation,
tearing someone down so they can be vulnerable enough
to believe them and buy into their nonsense.
Gaslighters are experts
at making you feel paranoid and crazy
especially when they know that you're in the right
and have no other way to gain the upper hand in an argument.
Number five, "Stop exaggerating the situation."
Are you starting to notice a pattern
in the phrases gaslighters often use
to try and manipulate you?
They usually start with the word you,
as in you're the one who's always in the wrong,
you're the one who's mistaken,
and you're the one causing the problem,
not them, never them.
Why? Because gas lighters will do everything they can
to convince you that you're wrong.
And they'll often do this by tricking you
into thinking that you're imagining all these problems,
just being paranoid,
and that your concerns are all exaggerated or unfounded.
Number six, "If anything,
"I'm the one who should be mad at you."
Remember how we said gaslighters
love to flip the situation onto you.
Well, this is a simple example of that.
They'll often act as if by calling them
out and making them take responsibility for their actions
you're the one hurting them.
"Why are you mad?" they might ask.
They may say things
like "I'm the one being wrongfully accused
"even though I did nothing wrong.
"I'm the victim here, not you."
See what we mean?
They're deflecting responsibility
by manipulating your perception of the situation
and rewriting the narrative.
And number seven, "Don't listen to anything they tell you.
"You can't trust anyone but me."
Yikes, out of all the words and phrases
gaslighters tend to use when manipulating us,
this might be the worst one of all.
"Why would you listen to them?"
or "You believe them over me?" are just a couple of phrases
a gaslighter will use to try to alienate you from anyone
who sees there's something wrong and wants to help you.
They want you to think
that there isn't anyone else that you can trust but them
when the awful truth is that they're the ones
you should have never trusted in the first place.
Have you heard any of these statements
or been gaslit by someone?
Although a lot of people are still unfortunately unaware
of what gaslighting is or how dangerous it can be,
it's important that we take the steps
to educate ourselves enough to be able to recognize it.
If you or anyone you know has experienced gaslighting
for a long time, please do not hesitate to seek help
from a licensed professional.
Remember that this video is meant to be educational
and is not intended to diagnose
or treat any condition or situation.
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Tell us in the comments below.
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All the references used are added in the description below.
Thanks for watching, and we'll see you next time.