Every first date you have is potentially the last “first date” ever! It only takes one time to meet
the perfect person and once you find them, well, you don’t carry on looking, do you? Hi viewers
and welcome back to another Bestie video! How you conduct yourself on the first date
will determine whether or not you get a second one. So you need to make the best
impression. But as much as a first date is full of excitement and possibilities,
things can go wrong or just get a bit awkward. In today’s video, we will tell you the ‘Dont’s”
of a first date. From being on time, staying sober, being rude with your phone, bringing up
marriage or kids to being self obsessed and more, watch till the end to learn about all of them.
Don’t let nerves take over:
It’s completely normal to get nervous for a first date, and if you don’t, you’re very lucky.
Try not to let these nerves overcome you when you’re actually on the date, or you won’t have
a good time. It’s easy to worry, but really what are you worrying about? If you try and relax,
keep cool and just be yourself, chances are you’ll come across great and have a great time.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done
out of nervousness while on a date? Tell us quickly down below in the comments section!
Don’t Talk About Your Exes: One of the most common mistakes to make on first dates is
talking about your exes. In short, talking about your ex on a date with someone new is awkward and
unnecessary. Sure, at some point your date might want to hear about your relationship history,
but not on the first date when they’re trying to have a good time.
You also don’t want to give the impression you’re still into your ex
by going on about them. And if you are, then you probably shouldn’t be dating.
Don’t pick a weird date setting: It can often be tempting to try something different on a
first date like paintballing or water-skiing. But the problem with this is that you are not
going to be able to talk to your date. Yes, you might seem adventurous to them,
but they won’t get a chance to actually get to know you. This makes it hard to build a
connection and significantly lowers the chance of getting a second one.
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not: If you “act” on your first date, what will happen when
you try to get real later? What you want to do is be as real and natural as possible.
If he or she doesn’t like exactly who you are, then you want to pass on them anyway.
Don’t show up late:
No one likes waiting for someone, but it happens from time to time. Although you and
your date agree on a specific time and place and expect from each other to arrive on time,
unforeseen circumstances can happen. Also, not every single person is punctual and needs an extra
ten minutes to get ready wherever he or she goes. Still, you should always plan ahead and include
those possible issues in the equation. Try to be on time, and your date will appreciate it.
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Don’t be overdressed: Both men and women want to put their best foot forward on a first date.
In that pursuit, they often end up overdoing their clothes, make-up, accessories and
perfume. Remember that you don’t want to end up looking like a mannequin in the shop window.
If you are wondering what to wear on a first date, choose something that is comfortable,
casual yet accentuates your body in the right places. Keep your accessories
minimal. Your first date, first impression is riding on your physical appearance too.
Do not scratch different body parts: The first date do’s and don’ts are not limited to how you
treat the other person. It is also how you behave and what your body language is like.
Scratching your hand or neck once in a while is one thing, but
don’t go doing that to your crotch. It is rude and your date would not want to see that at all.
In any case, if you have a problem like this – go to the washroom and deal with the matter,
away from your date’s sight. Clean your hands and go back to your date. The same goes for biting
your nails. Although it’s not as outlandish as crotch scratching, it is an irritant.
Don’t be self-obsessed: Yes, talking about oneself comes easily to most people.
When there are moments of awkward silences, telling your date more
about yourself and your life can seem like the better alternative. However,
if you only keep talking about yourself, it can leave your date feeling invisible and unheard.
This not only makes you seem conceited, but the other person might get bored of you on the very
first date. You may have a great job, a swanky apartment, traveled the world, but you don’t have
to put it all out there in one go. That would put off your date instead of making them interested.
Don’t come on too strong:
Although you’re on a date and the ultimate goal is to find a romantic partner, coming on too strong
is a huge turn-off for lots of people. Using pet names like “babe” and “honey” is a big no-no.
Excessive touching is also unnecessary on a first date. Gauge the situation based on the
activity. If you’re bowling and your date gets a strike, totally go in for the flirty high-five. If
you’re walking in a park, holding hands the entire time is probably a bit overboard for a first date.
Don't judge or argue: If the two of you happen to disagree on something, just make sure that you
stomach the fact with more consciousness about the other person's feelings. Disagreements are a part
of relationships and judging someone over an opinion is something that disqualifies you as
a suitable partner. Worse? Being argumentative about it. Always up for arguments, debates,
a suggestion, whatever, please don't. No one's here for a lecture. And even if you were the
last person on earth, it doesn't qualify you to make judgments about anyone's intelligence.
Don’t overuse your phone: The act of compulsively checking your phone every
two minutes can be a bonafide deal breaker. There’s nothing ruder than
trying to have a conversation with a person who’s constantly staring at their screen.
Wouldn’t you be put off if your date were paying more attention to the phone than to you?
While you’re at it, we know it’s commonplace for folks to keep their cell phones on the table,
but it’s not polite when you’re getting to know somebody. Responding to every beep, text, alert,
and vibration is distracting and unnecessary. Be mature and keep it in your bag or pocket,
and glimpse at it while your date goes to the bathroom, if you must.
Don’t get drunk: A glass of wine can reduce tension, but don't overdo it.
There's nothing worse than getting drunk on the first date. Your potential partner may
get the impression that the only way you can have fun is with alcohol. Even worse,
they might think you have a problem. A few glasses of any alcoholic beverage probably won’t make you
drunk. However, if you feel intoxicated from just one, make sure to pace yourself
or stop right there to be able to continue the conversation with your date politely.
Apart from messing up your first date,
there are many other harmful consequences of drinking alcohol. Learn more of what we
are talking about by watching “Alcohol Can Cause These 5 Serious Diseases”
Now, back to Things That You Should Absolutely Avoid Doing On A First Date
Don’t bring up marriage or kids: On a first date you’re not sure if you want to share a dessert,
let alone a future. For some people, it also makes them feel like you’re rushing the relationship.
If marriage and kids are important to you, there are general questions that can give
you an idea of someone’s desire or feelings toward having a family,
such as, ‘Tell me about your family?’ or ‘What’s your family like?'”
Don’t reveal too much about yourself: This is by no means an instruction to put an unnatural
halt on naturally-flowing conversation. Part of the fun of a really great first date is talking
long past the last call, finally looking around to see you’re the last ones in the bar or restaurant.
However, it’s advisable to hold a little bit back. Presumably you want this first date to turn into a
second, third and fourth, yes? In which case, you want to leave them with a deep desire to know more
about your unique and intriguing personality. Fascination is a massive part of attraction.
Don’t make a big deal out of who pays the bill: Our golden rule for paying the tab is:
If you’re going to date the person again, pick up the tab and tell them they can get it next time.
If you know you won’t be seeing them again, split the bill.
However, don’t make the mistake of letting the check sit on the table for a prolonged period of
time. It creates an unnecessary awkwardness where the other person feels unsure if you’re expecting
them to split the tab with you, or whether you’re waiting for them to pick up the bill.
If you think that by picking up the check too fast you’ll look as if you’re trying
to end the date too quickly, simply move the check next to you so your date can see
that you plan to pay the bill. Then continue on with your conversation.
Not doing any of the mentioned things in today’s video can increase your chances of getting a
second date. But sustaining a relationship can be tricky. There are things that you will have to do
to keep your relationship going strong. Learn more about what these things are by watching:
15 Proven Ways To Build A Strong Intimate Relationship
Or
14 Ways To Keep The Spark Alive In Your Relationship
So go ahead and watch one or both the videos if you want a strong relationship which will
last a lifetime. What did someone you went on a first date with do which made
you never go out with them again? Let us know in the comments section below!