People who work with dogs professionally: Who was the dumbest dog you've ever had the privilege to meet?
I used to work with dogs professionally.
Immediately Cookie the maltese comes to mind.
His owner came in for private lessons as she was older and had a hard time focusing for more than 15-20 minutes at a time due to some medication she was on.
Our first sit down I asked where she got Cookie, what issues she was having, and what her goals were for him.
She said she got him off a friend who was a breeder/shower.
Apparently she got Cookie for next to nothing because he was "too stubborn".
Thankfully that wasn't the case.
He was just dumb.
Sweet as a bucket of molasses, but dumb as a sack of nails.
We worked together weekly for roughly 3 months with 20-30 minute sessions.
His Mom would diligently write down everything we practiced and would text me progress reports on an almost daily basis.
Thankfully her goals were VERY low for him.
She mostly wanted a dog to cuddle with who would pee on his pee pads, sit when asked, and walk nicely on a leash.
In the three months we accomplished 2/3.
He blessedly started
going on the pee pads.
Although I think it was because she started scattering them around her home in desperation for him to hit the mark.
It was like if he couldn't see the pad they didn't exist.
He also began walking nicely on the leash.
Again I think he eventually got big enough not to notice it and just liked following mom around.
Sit.... sit is where we failed.
We tried so hard and EVENTUALLY he would sit when you offered the hand signal...
But only if you were crouched at his level and then he'd spin around and plop
his tiny white ass right in your palm.
Bear in mind I absolutely knew what I was doing.
I had over a decade of horse training experience, three years of dolphin and seal training, two years of elephant and rhino training, and just under a decade of dog training under my belt at this point.
(All positive reinforcement)
Cookie just never clicked with any of it.
He was such a sweetheart.
It was almost like he knew he was struggling and wanted to make up for it with kisses.
In the end Mom and I came to terms with his limitations and as far as I know he's still plopping his ass in her hand every time
she asks him to sit.
Cookie, you magnificent dumbass, I will never forget you.
I work with dogs professionally but the dumbest one I ever met was one of mine.
He was a very large Great Dane who somehow developed a fear of hardwood floors.
The worst part is he would walk through a hallway or room without realizing it was hardwood, and then as soon as he realized it he would sit himself down and refuse to move anywhere.
I miss the idiot
Edit: here's a pic of my big guy
Thank you all for sharing your stories with me!
It's given me a wonderful night filled with many happy memories
A client of mine has a Doberman girl that once got stuck in a doorway because she was carrying a long bone and couldn’t figure out on her own how to proceed.
Ever since that incident, this dog won’t walk through any door no matter how wide as long as she’s got anything in her muzzle, be it a bone or a tiny little cracker.
She is sweet, but really dull.
I volunteered for an organisation training guide dogs for blind people.
One of the dogs graduated training and was assigned to a blind young lady.
It costs €40,000 to get the dog trained to this point.
Dog successfully guides her to work every day safely with no problems.
Then it’s pissing rain one day so her dad asks her to collect her and the dog and drop them to the office.
The next day the dog just beep refuses to work and literally never worked a day again for her.
I think it just didn’t see the point when she could get in the car if she wanted!!
Not a dumb dog but beep it
Used to volunteer at a Human Society and I remember this one dog who was terrified of shadows.
The kicker?
This was an akita/husky mix so every time she saw a shadow she would howl loudly till the shadow went away.
Last I knew she got adopted by a farmer and was happily chasing cows.
My boyfriend walks a large Dalmatian who is the most uncoordinated dog I've ever seen.
He just can't jump.
Has no sense of what his back legs are doing.
When my boyfriend comes to pick him up he tries to get into the van by jumping normally with his front legs but fails to follow through with the back, so just stands excitedly leaning on the floor of the van, doing frantic tippy-taps with his back feet on the ground outside.
And he's a big dog, he could step right in without even jumping.
No amount of showing him by actually moving his limbs has made it click for him, so he does his partial jump then one of us hoists his arse end in too.
I used to work at a shelter, so I guess this counts.
One of our dogs had excitement-induced narcolepsy (called cataplexy).
So, he'd fall asleep whenever he was too happy.
Playing with other dog?
Fall asleep.
It snowed?
Fall asleep.
Get people food?
Fall asleep.
We adopted him.
In a home, we figured out he was afraid of doorways.
This doof would turn around and walk backwards through doorways instead because that was less scary.
He was also no fan of hardwood floors or ceiling fans.
Solid 50lb of staffy, biggest
coward ever.
He was the best dog.
Edit: dog tax:
Do not work with animals, but my mom's pit/lab mix is dumb.
He has a crazy long tail and it wags at like 35 mph.
The other day he was wagging his tail and it was smacking the edge of the fridge.
It hurt, he whined.
Instead of moving or holding his tail still he just stood there whacking it against the fridge and whining.
I finally moved him away from the fridge and he sat and licked it for a while.
He's a good boi, but he ain't bright.
Bruce.
A big old bloodhound who, on multiple occasions, would stick his nose right under other dogs while they peed.
I used to pet sit a German Sheppard who I lovingly called Space Cadet.
She was really good at following directions, but if I stopped giving her things to do, or stopped moving myself around, she would just disappear somewhere in her little doggy mind.
Once her owner forgot to give me the key before she left for a long weekend so I had to break into the house.
She didn't react until I called out for her.
She had no sense that something was off about my entering.
All she noticed was that her friend was in the apartment and it was time to play.
I miss that dog.
Was walking a golden lab and this poor dog smelled something interesting.
Decided to pee on it and lifted his leg.
Mid pee decided to smell it again and ended up peeing on his own face.
Dog was something else.
I work with dogs professionally however the dumbest dog I ever met was my friend’s roommates dog in college.
Harvey.
He was the absolute sweetest pup, but he was so dumb he only had room for one emotion at a time and only had 2 emotions total: happy and sad.
The cat hissed at him; sad.
People came inside; happy.
Someone yelled; sad.
Someone said his name; happy.
People not giving attention; sad.
Remembered he had a toy; happy.
But the dumbest thing this dog ever did was knock a glass pan of brownies off the counter when no one was home.
Harvey ate
the whole thing, *including the glass*.
The dogs whole mouth was cut up, he spent hours at the vet, and came back on sedatives.
Poor dog lauded in his bed for 3 days.
My sister's dog was dumb.
One day I decided to teach it to sit on command, the way I had taught a couple of other dogs.
So, every time I brought him in from the backyard I'd get a treat from on top of the refrigerator and go through training.
It took much longer than I thought it would, but eventually the dog would sit on command.
Then I discovered it only knew what 'sit' meant when he was facing the refrigerator.
So, more training, Every time I brought him in, I'd have him face a new direction until he made the connection and would sit on command.
Then I discovered he only knew how to do it in the kitchen.
A dumb, dumb dog.
Like most people, I don't work with dogs but owned a really dumb one.
She was just a mutt we rescued from the shelter.
She was afraid of coming in the back door.
She'd be on the deck, barking to get us while literally shivering from the cold and rain with a treat just inside the door but she wouldn't come in.
Eventually we stopped letting her outside in the backyard and would take her out on a leash to the front yard anytime she had to go.
This dog also knew sit, shake, lay down, and speak.
Unfortunately she'd get confused when you tell her to do one and start doing them all until you gave her a treat.
All that being said, I really miss her.
She was dumb as a rock but she was so sweet you couldn't care.
I work in a vet clinic and a dog ate a soft cloth foreign object.
We were able to induce vomiting and keep the dog from getting an obstruction.
Immediately after hurling up the object without a moment’s hesitation tried to eat it again so I had to pry it out of his teeth.
Dumb.
*sigh*
*Looks my self in mirror*
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