Alright everybody you know the drill.
We all know how we're voting but let's get those sound bites for our donor emails.
What are going to be the ground rules today?
Bring politics.
I am upset about the process.
We haven't even started!
Are we going to be allowed to interrupt each other?
Yes!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting protester.
Interrupting protester, wh-
[Unintelligible Shrieking]
That reveals the whole joke.
It doesn't pass the giggle test.
Okay, okay, focus people, focus!
We are here to talk about a single person.
Hillary Clinton
Merrick Garland
Justice Kagan
Justice Sotomayor
Reverend Al Sharpton
Bill Burke
Lin-Manuel Miranda
Judge Kavanaugh
Hi!
What a bastard Donald Trump is?
We can drink in here, right?
I think the penalties are being ousted from the Senate.
I openly invite and accept the consequences.
I feel like I'm a prop.
Am I a prop for your thing?
Have you not seen one of these before?
It's mostly a sham.
We know that every Democratic member of this committee is going to vote no.
Did you guts want to hear about my judicial opinions?
I have over 300.
Put them in a box marked 'irrelevant' and set it aside.
They're full of junk.
These confirmation hearings haven't worked for 31 years in America.
In fairness, Congress hasn't worked for 31 years either, so...
Damn!
I'm sorry, that was harsh.
Can we redact that? can we slip that under the thousands of documents we don't talk about?
Anybody running for president over there?
How much of this hearing is just presidential campaign fodder.
10 to 15 percent.
Or 50 percent or 40 percent.
99 percent.
100 percent.
Well we got the room for three more days, should we watch a movie?
We've never had a request for a video.
Forrest Gump
Alice in Wonderland
We've seen this movie before.
I hear Dinesh D'Souza has a new comedy.
We need Schoolhouse Rock back.
Okay, I appreciate Schoolhouse Rock, but we're not children, we're Senators.
We all understand the concept of object permanence.
Don't do that, what's being hidden?
What is being hidden?
Alright.
Hope and pray that I will but today-
That is clearly not reflective of current reality.
That was before judges were viewed as policy makers.
There's no verse of Schoolhouse Rock that says
'give a whole bunch of power to the alphabet soup agencies
and let them decide what the government's decision should be for the people.'
Because the people don't have any way to fire the bureaucrats.
Because people can't navigate their way through the bureaucracy
they turn tot he Supreme Court looking for politics.
God help me you are making sense, are you sure you're in the right room?
The Supreme Court becomes our substitute political battleground.
It's gotten really bad.
You know there's been 113 justices confirmed to the Supreme Court, right?
The first 66 were confirmed without even holding a hearing.
Not one Senator voted against Justice Scalia's confirmation.
Wait, Scalia?
Our democracy is on trial.
Guilty!
How much more beer should we get?
Thousands of additional cases.
Good call, God I'm going to miss you.
The question we are being asked to address in this hearing among others
is whether this judge at this time in our history will administer the law with equal justice.
The indignity of equal treatment.
Regardless of if they live in a poor neighborhood or a rich neighborhood
or if they live in a small house or the White House.
What about a little pink house?
Eminent Domain, Google it.
Most of my life has been spent in the courtroom.
He was acquitted.
He is a judge with a clear record.
Yup!
That seems pretty clear to me.
You've been accused of hating women.
Not true!
Hating children.
Kind of.
Hating clean air.
No.
Wanting dirty water.
What I call a bourbon.
Everyone knows that you served in the Bush administration.
Damn it!
I know you and your reputation for nearly 30 years.
I don't know who you are.
As you know well we went to the same law school, we clerked in the same courthouse
in Wilmington Delaware, so-
Hambone?
Oh my God!
Hambone! oh you got super bald!
You know we've had a lot of fun today,
but the current state of politics in Washington is no laughing matter.
And neither is jurisprudence, or judicial confirmations.
The third and equal branch of government under our Constitution is one of the most-
[Vapid Shrieking]
Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up!
[Shrieking Continues]