Now Chris, it was a lot to catch up on here.
Cause I, you said something the last time we spoke
that stuck with me, now I talk to a lot of people,
and I talk to 'em and the minute I'm done talking to them,
I immediately forget what they said,
but you said something that stuck with me,
which is that you would started going on Cameo.
Cameo, of course the service where a celebrity can go on
and give a quick message to somebody
and make usually a like a smaller amount of money, but,
but, you've been doing that
and that stuck with me because I thought I haven't talked
to anybody who's doing Cameo.
So I, I want to sort of catch up on that.
How's it going, are you still doing,
or did you abandon Cameo?
I've thought long and I, I, I want to abandon Cameo.
I find it to be weird but it's also a nice way
to make small amounts of money now that I can't tour
and go on the road, so I, I do it.
If you remember last time specifically
there was this one guy named Randy.
Yes, Randy, yeah.
Yeah, he had caught COVID and then I was making a lot
of money 'cause his friends were buying Cameos
from me to wish him well, tell him to get better.
And you accurately pointed out
that maybe that's not cool to monetarily exploit a sick man.
Yes.
Conan, since then, since my last appearance
this guy's become a cash cow, he got electrocuted.
I made a lot of money when that happened.
Wait, wait, wait a minute, so he got better-
Yeah.
He got better from COVID, he recovered
from COVID but then got electrocuted?
Yeah, I was sitting there like, man,
this, I guess this well has dried up and then no,
he, he touched a loose wire in the back
of a U-Haul truck and electrocuted his hands.
He burned his hands, I got, I got coin for that.
Then he moved to Northern Michigan.
[Conan] Aha.
And I guess when he hit the cold
his hands were having all these pains.
He found out that he had broken bones
from when he was a teenager and they hadn't healed right.
So he has to get surgery on his hands, cha-ching.
(Conan laughing)
And then I just saw on Instagram,
I follow the guy on Instagram, the other day,
this I thought was just truly insane.
Randy, if you're watching, I am serious.
He put a post on Instagram, Conan, he bought a boat.
It's a picture of him standing in front of a boat.
I'm like Randy, with your luck, take that boat and push it
into the ocean with your broken, burnt hands and never think
about it again, man, like you are Bad Luck Johnny
to the core, don't get on a boat.
And I stand to financially gain a lot
if he has a boating accident, but I don't-
Yes, that's a lot of money.
I don't want anymore Randy's pain money.
I don't want any more.
Well I, wait a minute, Chris,
you say you don't want it, but you're not turning it down.
Absolutely.
And you've referred to him several times.
You described one of his horrible injuries-
Mhm.
And then you start laughing and you call him a cash cow.
So don't tell me that you, "oh I can't take any more
of his money".
Look, if, we're living in the awful stages
of late game capitalism, right?
And if the guy who owns Amazon can make $13 billion
in a day, then I can make $35 when this guy,
Randy, electrocutes his hands.
Is that the amount of money that you get
when you're on Cameo, is it 30?
Is that what you get, $35 a pop?
They take a cut so I get like 28
and I've been on TV a bunch of times I'm getting $28 a pop
on these weird videos of my awful pedal head.
My, my wife has all these friends back from,
she's from Seattle and she has
these friends that are very sharp.
They're witty and they're sharp.
And we were hanging around in Seattle before COVID.
This is like a little over a year ago.
And we were having drinks and someone was talking
about Cameo and how they got like the kid
from Different Strokes to wish him a happy birthday.
And they'd said how much money it was.
And I said, "do you think, when do you think is the time
for me to go on Cameo?", and one of her friends looked
at me and he said three years ago. (laughing)
Wow, wow.
(Conan laughing)
Nailed it.
[Both] Nailed it.
I think it's actually six years ago.