-As I mentioned before,
Alex Rodriguez is on the show tonight!
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm so glad he's here.
We actually had the chance to work together recently.
We called a baseball game together.
And it was a lot of fun.
But the teleprompter operator was kind of a loose cannon.
He would put lines into the teleprompter
that we had never seen before, so we'd end up reading things
for the first time live on air.
It was a little nerve-racking,
but I think we handled it all right.
We actually have a clip
of some of our highlights from the broadcast.
Take a look.
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Hello! And welcome to today's game.
I'm Jimmy Fallon.
And if you're wondering, yes, they're real.
-Yes, they are. And I'm Alex Rodriguez.
And you can call me little cutie.
Wait. Juicy Fruit booty.
Uh, Jimmy, can I be honest?
Uh, I have an idea.
What am I doing here? And what baseball is?
Back to you, Cynthia. What?
-Well, Gonzalez steps up to the plate.
He's hoping to raise his batting average.
But me, I'm hoping to raise my cholesterol, which is...
why I eat one hard-boiled egg at breakfast,
one at lunch, one at dinner,
and one right before making love.
[ Laughter ]
-You know, uh, baseball actually reminds me a lot of making love.
-Oh, yeah? Why is that?
-It's slow, boring.
And you always leave early to beat the traffic.
[ Laughter ]
-Hey. Just a -- Just a quick reminder
that tomorrow night at the stadium is Rat Night.
Uh, the...
first 20,000 fans... [ Laughs ]
...to arrive will get a free, live rat.
For tickets to the game,
call our number at 212-WET-RAT, extension 12.
[ Laughs ]
Ask for Lenny Kravitz.
No, not that Lenny Kravitz. A different Lenny Kravitz.
Anyway, he's a good dude. He'll hook you up with a rat.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
-Here's a fun fact.
I never used to shower after games.
-Oh.
-I used to strip down in front of my locker and lick myself.
Clean my little kitty cat. And meow, meow.
Ish?
[ Laughter ]
-You know, what makes Taylor such a good pitcher
is that he throws a blinding fastball,
a wicked change-up, smelly curveball,
super-horny splitter, and a boozy daiquiri.
Oink-oink? What does the hog say?
[ Laughter ]
-I was -- I was thinking
they should make a "Space Jam" for baseball.
-Oh, yeah. -I'll play Bugs Bunny
and say his famous catch phrase, "Uh, how's it going, Docta?"
[ Laughter ]
-You know, when I root for a team,
I like to say my favorite cheer.
"Oh, mama, Dalai Lama, Charlie Sheen, Barack Obama.
Tickle me, I'll tickle you.
Seal my butt with Elmer's Glue."
-I actually won the MVP in 2003, '05, and '07.
But he don't fool by the rocks that I got.
I'm still Ally from the block.
Bazinga.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-We should --
[ Cheers and applause ]
We should do that more often. -We should.