-You had a 50th birthday party in June.
-I did. Thanks for rubbing it in.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yes.
-And then you had -- -Are you anywhere near 50?
-I'm getting there, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I'm about -- yeah, I'm 44, so, yeah.
-Okay. Oh, no. -Yeah, okay.
[ Laughter ]
-Yes, anyway, thank you. -What about -- you had a show --
Did you have a show the night of or no?
-No, we -- My staff surprised me with a birthday show,
and I was, you know, if you're a talk show host,
you are used to being celebrated and stuff
and you're comfortable with it, frankly.
-Yeah.
-But, man, I was on my way to my show,
and it was my "surprise" birthday show.
And I was like -- I was bashful for the first time in my life.
And then I got there.
I thought Anderson Cooper was going to walk out,
but John Mayer wound up walking out and hosting my show for me.
-That's very exciting. -It was incredible.
-And was Dolly Parton there as well?
-Dolly called in. She was the surprise caller.
-That's fantastic. That's great. -It was awesome.
-So you had a very good birthday.
-Yes, I did. It was awesome. Yeah.
-You mentioned Anderson. You guys are going on tour again.
-Yeah, we're still on tour.
We've got Vegas, Philly, D.C., L.A., this fall.
-Wait, is it called "An Intimate Evening"?
-Very intimate. -Okay, gotcha.
-Yeah, yeah.
It's like going to the bar with the two of us
and hearing our greatest stories.
We were just in Charlotte a few weeks ago.
-And you have added to your greatest stories
while this is happening.
You got in an -- you were traveling together as you would.
-Yes.
-You got in an altercation at the airport.
-Oh, I did on his behalf kind of.
-On his behalf?
-I was basically, we were at LaGuardia
and I was organizing --
-LaGuardia is where celebrities fly out of.
-Yes, exactly, yeah. [ Laughter ]
-It's like a -- It's a private airport.
-It's all private, yeah, yeah.
It was just he and I, and I was doing my thing,
which was organizing the bins as they come out of the --
-Oh, I love that do you that.
-Yeah, no, I totally do that. [ Laughter ]
Again, it's a celebrity thing. -Yeah, it's like the bins.
-You guys wouldn't know. Yeah, yeah.
So I'm organizing the bins.
And this woman with a thick Russian accent said to me,
"I wish you were as diligent about your reporting
as you are with those bins."
And I said -- She clearly had seen Anderson two people away
and thought that I was him
because of the gray hair, whatever.
And I said, "Excuse me?"
I said, "My reporting is stellar," you know.
[ Laughter ]
And she said, "No, it's not. You lie and this --"
I said, "What are you speaking of?"
And I go, "First of all, you're thinking it's him.
Second of all, he works very hard to deliver the facts,"
and I went in on her.
And she was with her husband.
It turned into me saying, "How dare you? How dare you?"
[ Laughter ]
Screaming at her.
Anderson was mortified.
Yes. A nice Russian couple. Yes.
-I just love -- -Screaming "fake news" at me.
-Did they scream "fake news" at you?
-Yes, yes!
-That's -- I mean -- I have watched "Real Housewives."
There is nothing fake about those people.
-Nothing! [ Cheers and applause ]
-They are the realest representation.
-Yes. Yes.
It's true.
-That is really fantastic.
-Anderson was really mortified.
-You mortified another news person recently.
-Yes. -What would you call this?
So, you, like, news-bombed a woman who was doing --
-I did. I news-bombed a lady from WCBS here in New York.
She was doing a stand-up in front of my gym.
And I was like, I gotta -- I was like, "Oh, my God, she's on TV."
I was like, "Hey!" [ Laughter ]
Like, I'm on TV every night. -Yeah.
-But I got so excited that this lady was on TV.
-This really speaks to your sense of ego
that you thought you saw.
-I know.
-You were like, "Ooh, a little extra daytime hype."
-Yeah, yeah. I was like, "I'm not on WCBS.
I'm on Fox. I'm on Bravo." Yeah.
-Well, here's a little -- 'cause she was very angry.
But I will say she was very excited to see you.
-She came around. -Let's take a look.
-Caught and arrested last night.
Taken into federal custody this afternoon.
Law enforcement sources
are still searching for that third accomplice.
Oh, it's Andy Cohen!
[ Laughter and applause ]
-It's so -- We made up. We made up.
And then somehow, I don't know if she posted it and then I --
I called Anderson actually.
I go, "You'll never believe what I just --"
He was so pissed at me.
-Yeah. -It was very upsetting.
I was like, "It was funny and she liked it in the end."