- Gotta do the stretching.
You do know that all the meats goes to the legs?
It's a known thing.
What's up, guys, we're back and I'm at Texas Roadhouse.
I've never been here before
and we're going to try all of the meats and margaritas.
We're going to just demolish the menu.
I'm really excited.
Pray for me a little bit, just a little bit.
(upbeat playful music)
Oh.
My.
Cheesus.
Mary and Joseph.
This looks beautiful.
We have to start with the sangria margarita.
Look at that beautiful color going on there.
This is a Patron kicker.
You're only allowed to get one kicker per drink.
You can either just put it into the drink or,
if you're like me, you're just gonna take it like
a test tube shot.
I do not recommend you do this and you're not supposed to
but I'm a terrible person
so just let me be terrible for like one moment in my life.
The tequila from here is like room temp
and then down here is frozen.
I love when my tequila's cold
but I am already not prepared for today.
I'm gonna pour the rest in.
You haven't seen me do buffalo wild wings, you know,
I'm not about to do some mild, medium (beep).
I'm gonna do the hot stuff.
I'm crying in the buffalo wild wings.
Please pray for me in this moment.
That's a good heat.
You think you're safe and when you think you're safe
then it comes back and bites you.
I approve of that.
We have to calm down, we're literally on item three
and we're already losing our shit.
This is not a sharing size.
They're basically like spicy, fried cheese balls.
If you've every had a mozzarella stick this is going
to be much better than that.
Confirmed.
This is one of the things that they're known for
and there's an obvious reason why.
I'm gonna say kick like probably a million times
in this video, like, drink every time I say kick.
But it has a really great kick to it.
Drink.
It's a pretty girl.
This is really cute.
Look at that ombre.
It's a delicate strawberry lemonade.
You could totally make this alcoholic,
I know you were wandering.
By the name you would be like, am I about to eat a cactus?
Of course not, it's a Texas sized onion.
Are onions really this big?
It's the size of my face.
You literally just get to pick it up like that.
You don't have to fight it.
This is game, when I eat this I'm just playing with it.
This is the fun one for the whole table
'cause everyone can get in on different sides.
I love that.
This is my first Texas Roadhouse fresh baked bread.
They have an actual baker onsite at all of the restaurants.
Everything should have this much butter on it.
Oh my God, need a moment with just the bread and me.
This is so pillowy.
If it wasn't dowsed in butter you could sleep on it.
I hope the butter comes on every single menu item on here.
And I'm literally wearing a butter T-shirt right now
so I think this is appropriate.
I want all of my meats and seafoods drenched in this.
Oh my God, this is not legal, whatever's in here.
It's 100% the butter.
I would bathe in this butter.
My doctor will hate me tomorrow if I ate all this.
Pickle chips are beautiful.
Far superior to potato chips.
They have the breading to pickle ratio very correct.
How many more rounds do we have?
Like four?
Five?
Four?
I don't want this round to be over.
I want that butter, I want that shrimp.
I want that for the rest of my life
and I want the rattlesnake bites
and I want the pickle chips.
I want all three of these at all times.
I want them delivered to my room.
I want them on Christmas.
Oh my God, we're keeping this.
(upbeat bouncy music)
What is this one?
This is Kenny's Cooler
and we know that the kicker is rum on this one.
I'm gonna pour it in though.
This won't go back in, look.
It literally is telling me to finish the drink.
I'm gonna put it in this one.
That's very dangerous.
If I had to choose between the two,
I would choose sangria margarita over this one only
because I like tequila more than I like rum.
We're doing the Smokehouse burger.
Which is extremely piled on.
Onion.
Cheese.
Mushrooms.
Tomato, it has everything.
You can taste the onions,
the grilled onions and the mushrooms on this one.
It's like a barbecue sauce, it has that sweetness to it.
Sweet and meaty, yummy.
I actually order pulled pork sandwiches pretty frequently.
What you have to do is taste
the pulled pork without the bread.
These are huge.
This is like big, thick, chunky cuts of meat.
Perfectly sweet and tangy for the pulled pork.
With extra coleslaw on top.
Perfect.
This the Mushroom Jack chicken sandwich.
So we have some of the Jack cheese in there,
a bunch of mushrooms, huge chunk of chicken.
And a cute little bun.
Oh my God, this is.
Chicken breast can be really, really, like, dry,
this one's very moist.
We're doing a steak filet salad
and there's bacon bits in here as well.
So you eat your bacon and your steak and your croutons.
We did a blue cheese dressing.
I'm really happy with this bite.
This might be a salad I actually enjoy.
I had chewing my food and I love when steak is able,
kind of, melt in your mouth.
We are finishing this round with a chicken Caesar salad.
Let's see.
I would choose this salad over this salad if
I was ordering one
but this ones better for sharing because you each get,
like, different pieces but the steak in this one's so good.
How is chicken supposed to compete with steak?
How are they supposed to compete?
I am so ready for the meats.
We need to move on.
I'm gonna keep this drink though.
(rhythmic guitar music)
Oh my God.
This steak is bigger than my (beep) face.
We are so in over our heads.
I'm so.
(sighing)
It looks like it's gonna be a little tiny thing,
because kicker to me means, like, here,
but look, it just like keeps on going.
I would actually celebrate my birthday here
and just everyone gets a kicker.
In my test tube it goes.
You are your own mixologist, I'm like, wow.
I really was a part of the process.
Oh, that's nice.
I don't know if that's grapefruit,
but it tastes like grapefruit.
I would order the hurricane margarita over this one.
I'm sorry, Kenny, I love you.
Still keep making music,
but this has to go a little bit farther away from me.
We have an eight ounce Dallas filet.
That's how I like it.
I don't like to chew,
I don't want to work too hard for my meat.
Buttery.
It just dissolves in your mouth like that.
That's nice.
This is like a date night thing.
If I could learn how to make this at home.
Wow.
It doesn't even need sauce or any, like, seasoning really.
It's very minimal and that's all you need.
It's perfect on it's own.
I've seen a lot of road kill in my days
and it doesn't look this good.
This is Monterey Jack cheese.
We got mushrooms and onions
and everything just smothered on top of this.
This looks...
Insane.
Oh my God, roadkill, what a name for something.
It's offensive that they call it roadkill
because it's very good.
By the name you'd be, like, disgusting and you try it
and you're like, no, disgustingly amazing.
(laughing)
I'm single, men.
(laughing)
Marry me.
I eat roadkill.
This is so good.
This behemoth of a steak.
Looks, like, it's, like, a dinosaur.
This thing is heavy.
You put it down on the table as a server,
you're like, here's your meal.
If I ever tried to make this at home,
myself, it would never look like this.
This is really easy to cut into.
At what point are the meat sweats going to become to much
that I take off this denim shirt, that is the question.
I sweat from, like, here and down.
Like, if I'm super nervous or anything,
it's just like, flood.
I like this cut more, more than this one.
It's like softer and more tendery and buttery.
Did you know sweet potato and yams are the same thing?
I'm gonna fact check myself and it's gonna be like
a little ding, like, right here, like, ding, Julia's right.
When I first started saying it I was 90% confident
and now I'm thinking about it more,
now I'm 80% confident.
That's pretty high up for me.
Here we go.
It's so perfect.
It's so perfectly sweet
and then the marshmallow if you get it golden
and toasty it's like almost a little crunchy.
I would order the steak just for the sweet potato.
That's how good that is.
(coughing)
The marshmallow came back.
I, like, didn't burp fully.
Did like a half burp and sat there and just like lingered.
I think I'm fine.
That was weird.
Still would eat it, still would order,
even though I'm confused with
what my body's doing right now.
So we're taking a break from the steak so
I can have this chili,
which has some beautiful diced red onions
and some cheddar cheese.
Oh!
My God.
Wow!
I don't know how I'm putting that in my mouth.
That was not a good, let's try again.
(lighthearted music)
Surprisingly a little bit sweeter
than I would expect for a chili.
Oh.
Here we go.
Oh.
Come on.
Sweeter but then has a kick when you eat a second bite.
It lingers.
I said kick again, didn't I?
This is actually like a weapon just having these sit here,
I could just, like, launch them.
Also another fun fact, they have a butcher here
and they work in the cooler thing
and they, like, work in the freezing cold and they just,
like, cut up all the meat.
You can ask for pretty much any size steak
that you want within reason, don't be crazy about it.
So you can come in and be like,
28 ounces and they'll do it for you.
I thought that was cool.
We are currently in New York so this should be really good.
I like this baby boy.
He's cute.
I am not mentally prepared for any of this.
The bacon bits on this are homemade
and that's a lot of cheese.
Some of those pieces of cheddar cheese are probably longer
than my actual hair.
How do you even shred it like that?
Oh!
Wow!
I love those bacon bits.
Oh my God, it's the perfect amount of salty and cheesy.
You could just sit there in your sweat pants
and just eat a whole, like, I'm imagining it's like a tub.
(inhaling loudly)
I'm like where's my kicker?
I need my kicker.
I'm like losing steam at this point.
Smother like your mother, but not.
Looks like it's really nicely grilled.
Some mushroom, some onion.
That's a pretty nice bite.
Thank God it's not summer anymore, you know what I mean?
That was a big bite.
My entire cheek is full.
- [Camera Lady] Wash it down.
- I'm fighting this.
Oh my God.
That did not go down nicely, but the onion is actually
a little bit on the sweeter side with the sauce on it.
Favorite steak here.
It's a tie between these two.
The New York steak and then the filet.
That roadkill is so amazing,
I like that it's just on it's own.
It's an independent meet woman.
I like that in a steak.
(playful music)
We are in round four of five
and when I just keep thinking the meat is gonna go away
and we'll get to desserts, it doesn't go away
and there's actually more of it now.
There's enough ribs in here to be in my actual human ribs.
Do you see how big that is?
It's the size of my hand.
It's gonna be the messiest thing I eat
and I'm saving it for last.
You don't get to watch me have messy hands for
the entire round, that doesn't seem fair for me.
We're gonna start with the herb-crusted chicken here.
Very golden and it comes with
a lemon that's actually been grilled
and you can just take that sauce and put it on top.
It's kind of in a shape of heart right now, don't you think?
Like a cute, little chicken heart.
It's not actual chicken heart, but shaped like a heart.
Out of the things here,
I have low expectations for chicken usually,
I think I have high expectations for the ribs and steak.
(upbeat music)
Perfect zestiness and moistness.
If you're familiar with a typical LIT.
It's five different types of liquor all mixed together
and some how it tastes totally fine.
This one's all whiskey in it instead.
There's a reason this one doesn't come with a kicker.
It doesn't need a kicker.
The drink itself is the kicker.
I'm trying their loaded fries,
which is their cheddar cheese,
not their Monterey Jack cheese.
It tastes like a tailgate.
Tastes like you're watching a game and you're hanging out.
Chicken critters.
Not fritters.
With a name chicken critters and roadkill.
Texas Roadhouse, I see what you're trying to do to me.
Are we saying it's a critter
'cause the shape of it looks like an insect leg?
(crickets chirping)
I could see that.
Yeah, it's like little spider legs in
a chicken fritter form.
Oh, that's juicy.
When I was a kid chicken tenders didn't taste like this.
I'm just mad I'm not a child anymore 'cause this is, like,
the good (beep) now.
They put that really good butter that we had in
the bread inside the sweet potato
and then they put brown sugar on it,
which I'm pretty sure counts as a dessert
and no longer a side or a vegetable.
That's a game changer.
Wow!
Oh, yeah.
Still so strong.
We have country fried chicken here,
slathered in a blanket of white gravy.
I love white gravy!
And I love fried chicken,
especially when it's hammered flat like this.
Oh my God.
Barbecue chicken slathered in some saucy sauce.
My body's like stop, just stop doing this.
I'm gonna pass out in the Uber and I'm so sorry
and I'm gonna snore so hard tonight I can already tell.
I've had so much meat.
(laughing)
Fun fact, 44% of the menu here is meat.
I don't think it has any sauce on it or barely any
and it doesn't need it.
You can't really even see the seasoning,
which means it's just really flavorful meat.
We need to acknowledge the hot girl in the room right now,
these ribs.
Just have a moment of silence.
I'm gonna get it all over myself.
Oh!
My!
God!
My dad, the only dating advice he gave me since
I was a kid was, don't go on a first date and eat ribs,
'cause if you do it's the messiest thing
and it's all in your teeth and everything,
but if you choose to go on your first date
and you do eat ribs then they're
a keeper because anyone who can put up with someone when
they look like this is a winner.
Oh my God.
Look at that.
That just fell off the bone.
Look at that.
I'm gonna need a few moments with me and this ribs.
We need to have an intimate discussion.
(upbeat music)
Is that it?
Oh, no.
We meet again.
There's peach and pineapple and OJ
and it comes with a kicker of, pretty sure that's Malibu.
(coughing)
What is that?
Oh!
Let's just put that in there.
We were already on a downward spiral at this point
and it's just going farther down.
Just to the last drop.
Let's do it.
There we go.
We know how I feel about salmon.
It's one of my favorites.
This one looks like it's pretty simple, which I like.
Doesn't need a bunch of sauce or anything on it.
It tastes like super fresh,
this is one I could eat all the time.
Genuinely tastes healthy.
This is actually six ounces of steak,
but look how large it is.
That looks larger.
It's just flattened, like, beaten out so it's super,
super thin and super crispy and it's deep fried.
This is so crunchy.
That is something I would order if I ever committed
and crime and was on death row.
I would definitely eat this as my last meal.
I love the brown gravy, I need to try the white gravy
and the mashed potatoes over here.
(people clapping)
Birthdays, this place is a party.
There's like kickers.
There's brown gravy, there's white gravy,
there's people singing.
The white gravy tastes like breakfast to me
and is super heavy.
I like the brown gravy, 'cause it's a little bit tangier.
This is awesome.
(people cheering)
There's a party happening and I'm not invited.
(crowd singing)
Yee-haw!
It's really sad that I'm sitting here alone
and not at this birthday party right now.
I would be so much fun.
What I like about catfish is that it's super light,
easy to break apart, it's almost like flaky.
All it needs usually, just a little bit of lemon
and we have a saucy sauce over here
that apparently is homemade.
Here we go.
Light, perfect, melty, just melts away in your mouth.
What I think it looks like is a candy cane or
a swans neck when a swan is like.
(swan honking)
It looks like a swans neck, it's like a flirty swan.
We have our pork chops here and we have our apple sauce
and we have our gravy.
I'm gonna smother it in our gravy first.
Yeah, that brown gravy is, like, perfect amount of peppery.
Peppery and savory and tangy.
I like the gravy a lot.
Apple sauce, it's such a strange combo.
I don't get it though.
Yeah, just stick with the gravy.
I'm loving this pork chop,
I'm loving this gravy to dip it in.
I would dip many things into this,
but I think I need something a little sweet
to break up the savory.
Thank God, we have a big old brownie.
When you eat here you don't really make it to dessert, ever.
And if you make it to dessert, they're just like,
they stare at you and they're like, are you sure?
Well done, we're almost there.
It tastes like these brownies we used to get in
the lunch room.
It tastes like an old fashioned brownie.
I'm 110% sure I'm not finishing any of this.
I need to bring it back to the Delish offices stat
and fall into a deep, deep slumber.
I'm taking my peanuts and I'm getting out of here.
'Cause if I don't excuse myself they will excuse me.
(lighthearted music)