Epictetus once said that “Of one thing beware, O man: see what is the price at which you
sell your will. If you do nothing else, do not sell your will cheap”.
In the modern world Stoicism is defined as the endurance of pain or hardship without
the display of feelings and without complaint but the original philosophy was more than
just an attitude. According to the stoics, everything around us operates through a web
of cause and effect resulting in the rational structure of the universe which they called
“LOGOS”. And while we may not have control over the events that affects us, we do have
a control over how we approach things. Rather than imagining an ideal society, the stoics
see the world as it is while pursuing self-improvement through four cardinal virtues.
Practical Wisdom which is navigating complex situations with logic, information and calmness.
Courage which is to do the right thing and facing daily challenges with clarity and integrity.
Justice in Treating every human being—regardless of his or her stature in life—with fairness
and kindness and, Temperance is in Exercising moderation and
self-control in all the aspects of life
Stoicism was an active school of philosophy for several centuries in Greece and Rome but
as a formal institution, it faded away. But its influence has continued to inspire several
business leaders, politicians and athletes to this day. Which is why in this video we
will be talking about 12 practical exercises, as per the book How to be a Stoic by Massimo
Pigliucci that uses Epictituse’s Enchiridion, which we can use in the modern world while
mastering the four stoic virtues.
1. Examine your impressions Epictetus says “So make a practice at once
of saying to every strong impression: ‘An impression is all you are, not the source
of the impression.’ Then test and assess it with your criteria, but one primarily:
ask, ‘Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?”
By this exercise Epictetus tells us to constantly examine our “impressions”—that is, our
initial reactions to events, people, and what we are being told—by stepping back to make
room for rational deliberation, avoiding rash emotional reactions and asking whether whatever
is being thrown at us is under our control or not. If it is under your control act on
it, if it is not, then just ignore it. For example, you are stuck in bad traffic
and you are getting late to work. Ofcourse you could have done things which were under
your control like pre-empting the traffic and leaving early. But now since you are stuck
in traffic, which is not under your control, you could instead of being irritated or getting
angry, just listen, keep calm and carry on
2. Remind yourself of the impermanence of things
In words of Epictetus “When giving your child or wife a kiss, repeat to yourself,
‘I am kissing a mortal”
The truth is Change is a universal law of nature. Things are changing constantly. Life
is ephemeral— the people we care about may be snatched from us in a snap, without warning.
Therefore, this exercise is about reminding ourselves how precious our loved ones are
- they may soon flow past, too. Let’s appreciate what we have now because it might be gone
tomorrow. Life is impermanent. Keep in mind that you are lucky to be able to enjoy the
things you have, and that your enjoyment might end abruptly, and that you might never be
able to enjoy those things ever again. Learn to enjoy stuff and people without feeling
entitled to them, without clinging.
3. The reverse clause According to Epictetus “Whenever planning
an action, mentally rehearse what the plan entails”.
It is not true that bad things only happen to bad people. Good or bad, each of us is
going to face certain situations. This exercise is all about facing these situations with
the best of your abilities while leaving the outcome to fate. Let’s suppose that you
are considered for a promotion at your job. While we naturally think that our goal is
to get the promotion, the outcome of course is not in our control—it can only be influenced
by us. So you need to make your goal something that actually is in your power and not something
that Fate can rob you of: which in this case would be to put together the best promotion
file you can before the decision is made. Now, you may get the promotion but there are
chances that you won’t. The idea is not to absorb the injustice of not getting a promotion
that was richly deserved. Rather, it is to deploy the wisdom that sometimes things will
not go your way even if you do your best, and regardless of whether you deserved to
get the promotion.
4. How can I use virtue here and now Epictetus informs us “For every challenge,
remember the resources you have within you to cope with it”.
According to Stoics, we should use every occasion, every challenge, as a way to exercise our
virtue, to become a better human being by constant application. Going by the previous
example, it is very natural for you to feel upset for not getting the promotion that you
thought you deserved or being envious of your colleague who got the promotion instead of
you. You might even be angry at your boss. Instead by remembering your overarching goal
which to be a decent person who doesn’t do anything that is unvirtuous or that may
compromise your identity or integrity, you can let go off the negative feelings and take
this situation as learning curve and look for at the ways you could improve your work
performance. The truth is all of us have a lot more self-control, endurance and patience
than we think we do.
5. Pause and take a deep breath As we learn from the words of Epictetus “Remember,
it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being
harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the
provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions;
take a moment before reacting, and you will ﬁnd it is easier to maintain control”
This is simple advice, and yet it is very difficult to pull off. It is also very, very
important. The idea behind this exercise is to rationally examine our impressions, regardless
of whether they are negative, such as insults, or positive such as feelings of lust for which
we need to resist the impulse to react immediately and instinctively to potentially problematic
situations. Instead we must pause, take a deep breath, perhaps go for a walk around
the block, and only then consider the issue with logic and calmness. Once you start seriously
practicing this exercise, you will see dramatic improvements in the way you handle things,
and you’ll get positive feedback from all the others who also see those improvements
in you.
6. Other-ize According to Epictetus “When somebody’s
wife or child dies, to a man we all routinely say, ‘Well, that’s part of life.’ But
if one of our own family is involved, then right away it’s ‘Poor, poor me!’ We
would do better to remember how we react when a similar loss afflicts others.”
Epictetus reminds us here of just how differently we regard an event that has affected other
people when the same event affects us. It is easy for us to be calm when little inconveniences,
or even disasters, happen to others than to ourselves. For example when your friend loses
or breaks his phone, you will tell him that it’s just a phone and he can buy a new one.
But when you break your phone, you will lose your calm. Or even for more grievous matters
like when your friend’s wife dies, you will console him by telling him that death is a
part of life and she is in a better place. But when you lose someone of your own, you
will lose your equanimity. Of course losing your phone is not the same thing as losing
your wife but this exercise is all about understanding that accidents, injuries, disease, and death
are unavoidable, and while it is understandable to be distraught over them, we can take comfort
in knowing that they are in the normal order of things. The universe isn’t after anyone—or
at least, it isn’t after any one of us in particular!
7. Speak little and well Epictetus says “Let silence be your goal
for the most part; say only what is necessary, and be brief about it. On the rare occasions
when you’re called upon to speak, then speak, but never about banalities like gladiators,
horses, sports, food and drink—common-place stuff. Above all don’t gossip about people,
praising, blaming or comparing them.”
Epictetus’s gives us the list of things we should not talk about We may not talk much
these days about gladiators, but we do talk about star athletes, movie and music stars,
and other “celebrities” instead of talking about difficult topics because we have been
conditioned to think that “serious” talk is boring and at any rate requires more background
knowledge and attention than most of us associate with good conversation.
Epictetus also advises to stay away from the conversation that concern with gossiping and
passing judgements of people. To indulge in gossip and judge people who
are not present to defend themselves simply does not seem to be the virtuous thing to
do. Initially this exercise will feel unnatural, but then the habit will kick in. So slowly
change your conversational topics and respond less to gossiping and passing judgments and
occasionally introduce a challenging topic of your own that is based on something you’ve
recently read or watched and that you feel might lead to a mutually beneficial conversation
with your friends.
8. Choose your company well Epictetus says “Avoid fraternizing with
non-philosophers. If you must, though, be careful not to sink to their level; because,
you know, if a companion is dirty, his friends cannot help but get a little dirty too, no
matter how clean they started out.”
Epictetus advises us to pay a very close attention to whom we spend our time with. This is a
great advise since life is short, temptation and waste are always lurking, and so we need
to pay attention to what we are doing and who our companions are. So start spending
time with people who are interested in following virtue and cultivating their character. Aristotle
once said that we want to be with friends who are better than ourselves, so that we
can learn from them. Ask yourself about the people you meet and
spend time with: Are they making me better? Do they encourage me to push forward and do
they hold me accountable? Or do they drag me down to their level? And then consciously
consider whom you allow into your life.
9. Respond to insults with humour In the words of Epictetus “If you learn
that someone is speaking ill of you, don’t try to defend yourself against the rumours;
respond instead with, ‘Yes, and he doesn’t know the half of it, because he could have
said more.” We get easily offended when someone speaks
ill about us or insults us. We take the insults too personally which spoils our mood and ruin
our self – esteem. Instead we need to realise that the insults, what other speak about you
is not in your control. But how you react to it, most certainly is. Epictetus tells
us to respond insults with self - depreciating humour. For example if someone trolls you
for being overweight, then instead of getting offended and getting in a useless brawl, reply
by saying – yes I am finally getting one step closer to being the heaviest person on
the planet and then give it a laugh. By laughing off an insult, we are implying
that we don’t take the insulter and his insults seriously. To imply this, of course,
is to insult the insulter without directly doing so. It is therefore a response that
is likely to deeply frustrate the insulter. For this reason, a humorous reply to an insult
can be far more effective than a counter insult would be.
10. Don’t speak too much about yourself As we learn from Epictetus “In your conversation,
don’t dwell at excessive length on your own deeds or adventures. Just because you
enjoy recounting your exploits doesn’t mean that others derive the same pleasure from
hearing about them.” We are all guilty of talking too much about
ourselves. We talk about ourselves 30-40% of the time. That’s a lot. Studies have
shown that talking about ourselves is strongly associated with increased activity in the
mesolimbic dopamine system, the same part of our brain that experiences pleasure through
things like food, sex, and money. The truth is no one wants to sit through a
slide show from your latest vacation (even when presented as tiny pictures on your latest
shining iPhone), no one really wants to hear another person going on and on about himself.
It is pretty safe to say that we are not as interesting as we think we are. We need to
exercise some self - control and refrain from talking too much about ourselves. This will
make our friends and acquaintances happier.
11. Speak without judging To quote Epictetus “Someone bathes in haste;
don’t say he bathes badly, but in haste. Someone drinks a lot of wine; don’t say
he drinks badly, but a lot. Until you know their reasons, how do you know that their
actions are vicious?” This will save you from perceiving one thing clearly, but then
assenting to something different.” The idea is to distinguish between matters
of fact—to which we can assent if we find them justified by observation—and judgments,
from which we generally ought to abstain, since we usually don’t have sufficient information.
The truth is we're all doing the best we can and we are not privy to the stories behind
people's actions, so we should be patient with others and suspend our judgment of them,
recognizing the limits of our understanding. One of the things one must work on is viewing
the world as objectively as possible. If you see someone you might be inclined to judge
as overweight, think instead of their exact weight, which is a fact, rather than the judgment
that there is too much of it. Better yet, see them as a whole person, with all their
objective characteristics rather than one you would single out. The judgment adds nothing
but unhelpful emotion. See the world as it is and work from that.
Finally number 12. Reflect on your day Epictetus teaches “Admit not sleep into
your tender eyelids till you have reckoned up each deed of the day - How have I erred,
what done or left undone? So start, and so review your acts, and then for vile deeds
chide yourself, for good be glad.” Stoicism isn’t just about thinking, it’s
about action—and the best way to improve is to review. Each evening you should examine
your day and your actions. Find a quiet place in your house or apartment and reflect on
what’s happened during the day. The goal is to focus on the important happenings of
the day, particularly those that have ethical valence. Perhaps you spoke ill about your
friend or maybe you were helpful to a colleague. For each of these types of occurrences, write
few lines in your diary and grade your own ethical performance that day.
Ask yourself, What did I do well today?
Where were my ethics were tested, where did I do well?
What did I do badly, why did this occur? And Furthermore, how can I improve?
So now you know how you can improve tomorrow. If you think you did something that might
have compromised your virtue, then don’t beat yourself up. Be like Seneca and forgive
yourself. Have some self-compassion. Research shows that it’s forgiving yourself — not
beating yourself up — that prevents you from continuing to put things off. And don’t
just be critical of yourself. Think about what you did well so you can repeat it tomorrow
and most of all Be grateful for the good that happened today.
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