Okay, guys,
I'm telling you, this movie...
[door opens and closes] - Should write itself.
The first one was a classic.
This should be pretty straightforward.
Basically, all we're doing is maintaining the integrity
of the original picture.
We want to do all the stuff with the water
and the--
What--
Uh, can we help you?
I'm sorry.
Let me introduce myself.
Hi, y'all.
My name is Star Magic Jackson, Jr.
I'm the Hollywood sequel doctor,
so studio just brings me in to oversee things
when they about to drop a deuce.
So that's why I'm here, but don't mind me.
I'm just gonna be over here.
Y'all do your thing.
It's your movie.
Okay.
Let's brainstorm. Adam.
If it's gonna take place in an office building,
I was thinking, what if Gizmo gets wet
from a water cooler this time?
Okay, hold on a second!
I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to step in here.
Just one second, sweetheart.
So what's wrong with y'all?
Y'all are looking like a bunch of sad sacks.
This is
We writing
It should be a party,
with pizza and anchovies, pineapple.
Just come on.
Lift up the spirits.
Look, okay, I'm gonna put a little bit of spice
into the mixture here.
What if we did this?
Everybody here gets to design their own gremlin.
Um, I-I don't see that the gremlin design is broken.
It's called brainstorming, not brain drizzling, sweet pea.
Okay?
Shut your mouth for a second.
(Star) Look, here's the thing.
None of this is final.
So you mean, like,
what if there was, like, a brainy gremlin?
[scoffs] A brainy gremlin?
You talking about a gremlin with glasses
who could talk and sing
That's brilliant.
It's in the movie--done.
[upbeat electronic music]
Whoa, whoa, you said that nothing was final.
That was before I heard the words "brainy" and "gremlin"
in the same sentence together.
It's done. I love it.
It's in the movie. Next.
What about a, uh, spider gremlin?
You mean a gremlin with eight legs and a thorax,
just catching pretty ladies in a web in an office building?
Oh, my God, it's in the movie.
I love it!
Next!
- What about a bat gremlin? - [gasps]
You mean a gremlin with leathery wings,
just flying around, flip-flopping,
bust through a wall,
make a perfect bat symbol in the wall,
get outside, get in some wet concrete,
jump up on a building, and just dry in place
like a gargoyle gremlin?
We are cooking with gas now.
I love it. It's in the movie.
Next.
Could there be a female gremlin?
Just lipstick, boobies.
Bitch, you had me at "little gremlin va-jay-jay."
I love it so much that it's not only in the movie,
but it's definitely in the movie.
There's no backsies on that one. No penny taxies.
Yes, yes, yes!
In the movie, done!
That's why need a woman in the writers' room.
Next.
I don't know.
A googly-eyed gremlin?
But you do know,
because you're talking about a gremlin
whose sole purpose in this film
is just that he looks stupid as fuck.
Yes, it can be in the movie,
and it is in the movie.
Done. Next.
What about you, silver fox?
Um, electricity gremlin?
You just said noun and "gremlin,"
like you're playing Mad Libs.
You just like a child.
You have the brain of a child.
You do not have a high IQ,
but you haphazardly came up with a gremlin
that's just made out of bolts
that is zigzagging all over the room,
and it's done completely in animation.
You a crazy person,
and your idea's in the movie!
Done. Next.
Can we put the Hulkster in it?
What?
You talking about putting Hulk Hogan,
professional wrestler turned actor
turned cultural icon
in the movie,
where he break the fourth wall of the movie he's in
by talking to the audience.
You, sir...
are a raging psychopath.
Don't let this town take that away from you.
That's it. I don't even care anymore.
We got the Hulkster in this bitch,
so it's done.
I don't have any more time,
so let me just recap right now.
It's brainy gremlin, spider gremlin,
bat gremlin, lady gremlin, googly-eyed gremlin,
electricity gremlin,
Hulk Hogan's gonna be in the picture.
I'm gonna throw in a gremlin myself.
Vegetable gremlin! Just write it up.
- I'm having so much fun. - Why not?
Thank you, it's all gonna be in the actual film.
Now I got to go put some cowboys
in
Sayonara, y'all.
Ooh!
[applause]
Now, okay, you guys know
that none of that is gonna be in the actual movie.
[upbeat electronic music]