The whole reason that we got the idea to hire elves
is because back in September, Jeff Garland
called us up and said he wanted to be an elf.
He said, Ellen, please, please, let
me jingle my bells in a pair of tights.
Who am I to stop someone from fulfilling their dream?
So please welcome today's elf, Jeff Garland.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
HI.
Hi, Jeff.
Hi, Ellen.
How are you?
I'm good.
How's that?
A little bit itchy but delightful.
I've never used those two words together, and I just did.
Well, because it was a dream.
And the itchy-- the delightful cancels out.
Yes.
So we've never said this was going to be easy.
All of our elves have to undergo rigorous training.
Yes.
You were trained by our head elf.
Yes, I was.
Yes.
And it was brutal.
Yeah.
Well--
You know, it was.
Let's show the people--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Yeah, let's show the people how it went.
Hi, everybody, I'm Jeff Garland, comedian of some notoriety.
You might know me from the Goldbergs or Curb Your
Enthusiasm.
Today I'm preparing for my greatest role.
I'm going to be an elf.
That's right, a skipping elf to help with Ellen's 12
days of giveaways.
I'm anxious to see my transformation.
All right.
Very good.
You're done.
That's it?
That's it.
Really?
Oh.
We've got Jeff Garland coming in.
He's going to get trained to be an elf.
I guess he's like an actor or something.
Training is a whole process, and he
wants to do it in just a couple hours.
So we'll see how that goes.
I'm very focused.
Because I want to be a good elf.
It's a heavy responsibility.
I'm not taking this lightly.
See this is a man who--
I won't say anything about dignity.
Forget dignity.
I'm humble.
I'm honored to be an elf.
But I'm ready to do whatever is necessary.
Skipping is like high priority.
I do not have any skipping skills.
I have never had the occasion to skip.
You know what?
I'm not nervous, but I'm unsettled about the possibility
of me skipping.
This is big stuff.
I'm changing people's lives today.
Hey, you are--
Head elf.
All right, I'll go with that.
Let me see the skip.
Oh, the-- I really--
that's not a thing I do.
Five, six, seven, eight, knees to your belly button.
Here we go.
Don't forget the smile.
In the skipping, we're looking for pace, cadence, joy.
Just some general merriment is important.
I imagine there's a full audience, Jeff.
A whole audience--
Yeah, they're not going to want to watch me skip.
They are dying--
No one needs to see me skip.
They're dying to see you skip.
No, you're-- Yeah--
They all lined up for hours.
You've been given wrong information.
They're excited to see Ellen.
They're excited to get a prize.
To see me skip, not on their list.
We've got a lot of work to do.
Well, let's do the work.
Three important people are going to get some big stuff today.
Jeff, what is this?
This is a 65-inch TCL television.
No, it's 55 inches.
You have to know this, Jeff.
The GoPro Hero 7 Silver is the pr-- too fast.
Too fast, Jeff.
The GoPro Hero 7 is the perfect camera
to capture stunning videos--
Jeff.
To your social media, whatever that is.
Can you not do it in that voice?
Well, that's my voice.
Oh.
What do you mean, the face?
No--
That's my voice.
No face.
It's a Go Pro.
I can't believe it.
[WHEEZING]
Ellen starts reading the wrong description of one
of the products.
Do you correct her?
Ellen, that's not what we're giving away.
[WHISTLE]
Absolutely not.
We never correct Ellen.
Ellen's word is law.
Ellen, you are so right about that product.
[WHISTLE]
Nice job.
All right, Jeff.
It's time for you to take the oath of the elf.
Repeat after me.
I, state your name--
I, Jeff Garland--
Promise to give gifts.
Whether they've been naughty or nice.
Naughty or nice, you know, yeah, whatever.
Regardless of faith.
Oh, obviously regardless of faith.
I don't care what their faith is.
And no matter what happens, I promise
to just keep skipping, just keep skipping.
Yeah, I promise to just keep skipping.
Just keep skip-- that's just weird, you know that, right?
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Your official elf name is Poodle.
[WHISTLE]
Thank you.
[APPLAUSE]
You did well.
Thank you.
Very, very good.
Thank you.
Yes.
Thank you.
All right, thanks for being our elf now.
Skip away, please.
I'll be--
Let's see it.
Ah--
Let's see it.
[LAUGHTER]
Went the wrong way.
It's not skipping.
I'm already regretting this.