-Brené Brown, thank you so much for being on our show.
I really appreciate it.
How are you and where are you?
-I -- We're doing okay.
And we are -- there are 12 of us
quarantined between two houses,
one in Austin and one in Houston.
So it's sisters, families.
We got my mom out of assisted living with a tuck and roll
at the last minute when they were closing the doors,
which was great. -Wow.
-And then, yeah, so we got a big crew.
-Five "New York Times" best sellers.
You did a TED Talk on vulnerability that's gotten
over 60 million views by the way.
And then you have this Netflix special
which I think was the first Netflix special
where they just aired a lecture, that's crushing.
And now you have a new weekly podcast.
You're busy, busy, busy.
For people that don't know you, can you explain what you do?
-Yeah. I've spent the last two decades,
a little bit more, studying the emotions
that kind of define what it means to be human.
So I study vulnerability, courage, shame, empathy.
So, I'm a researcher.
I'm a professor at the University of Houston.
I also have a professorship at UT Austin.
-Wow. Oh, UT Austin, I love it.
We were just there. It was great.
-Oh, my God. It was so fun!
-We had the best time. -I loved watching it.
It was great. -Oh, you did see it?
I love that you saw it. -Oh, my God. I totally saw it.
-You're doing the -- like a virtual commencement
for the graduating class, aren't you?
-I am. I'm doing the commencement this year.
-Oh, my gosh! What an honor. That's great.
-Yeah. We're going to do a virtual one
and then when we can meet again,
they're going to do an-in person one.
'Cause I mean, the UT commencement is
25,000 people in person, so it's an event.
-Do you have any idea what you're going to tell
these kids, or any nuggets?
-You know, I think what I would tell anybody right now
and including these graduates, I think everyone's
bull [bleep] meter is really sensitive right now.
So, I think it's just straight talk.
-Yep. -I think it's, you know,
"Hey, take a look. Here's the big secret.
Adults, we're just winging it.
Like, we don't know what's going on," so...
-No one knows. Yeah, no one knows what's going on.
What is an FFT?
Can you tell people what that is?
-Yeah, I'll edit it for y'all for TV,
but it's an effin' first time,
and it's so helpful because there is a process
you can follow when you find yourself doing things
for the first time.
And it's important because let me tell you,
first times are super vulnerable.
And most adults get to a place in our -- we get to a place
in our lives where we don't want to do anything
that we're not already good at doing,
'cause we don't want to be that vulnerable
and we don't want to suck.
-Interesting. Yeah. -Right?
We don't want to suck at something,
so we're going to take that new class
or try that new way of doing something.
But unfortunately, that muscle that we use
when we do first things is the life blood.
It's the juice. It's the secret sauce to life.
That discomfort, that awkward, my kids would call cringy,
that cringiness, that's important.
so I did a podcast on FFT saying, listen,
let's talk about the pandemic.
It's an FFT for all of us.
And so the three things that are super helpful is -- name it.
You know, I don't know, like the first big fight
I got into with my husband was --
I was like, "This is what we should be doing!"
He goes like, "How many pandemics have you been in?"
I'm like, "Oh, criminy, I don't know."
This is our first pandemic. This is our first quarantine.
-Wow. That's good one.
-Yeah, so name it.
Perspective take --
Like, this is going to end at some point.
This is not going to last forever.
And then the third thing is reality check expectations.
Like, nothing is going to go like we had planned.
And I put the podcast out right when teachers were
going to online learning, and the teachers are like,
"Oh, my God. This is the biggest FFT."
I'm like -- -Yeah. Can you imagine that?
-No, I can't. -Yeah. It's just --
I can't even imagine you have to teach all these kids
through this computer and you got to make sure
they're paying attention and that they're doing the work --
it's just like, who knows what is going on?
And I think for the most part everyone is doing a great job.
-Teachers are crushing it. -Yeah.
-And it's not easy either 'cause you know those kids
are on, you know, "Smash Bros" or "Fortnite."
You know? -Yeah, they're not even --
-You know, like -- 'Cause you know you and I would be.
In fact, I got busted the other day in a Zoom call
because I was like, what is this weird feedback?
And then I Googled feedback on Zoom
and it said someone's on their phone probably.
And it's causing interference. I was like, "Oh, my God."
-So you were looking at every screen going,
who's on their phone? -No, it was me.
-Oh, it was you? -Oh, totally.
Oh, totally.
-For everyone going through this tough time right now,
is there anything that you can think of
that it's going to come out better and stronger?
I mean, obviously, it will. I think we will.
But what do you say to somebody who's like,
"What's going to happen? What are we doing?"
-Here's what I know -- here's the only thing I know for sure.
And I would really be skeptical of anyone that knew
everything or anything certain.
I know for sure that we will have a huge opportunity
to be better than we were before we went into it.
I know for sure that a crisis like this shines a light
on fault lines in our communities
and our families and our country, in our services.
And we're seeing that.
We're seeing disproportionately affected people.
We're seeing -- we'll have an opportunity
as we come out of this to say, you know what?
We're not going to let this continue.
This is not who we want to be as a country.
And so, I think for sure we'll have an opportunity
to be better and I hope we seize it.
I know there will be more trauma coming out of this,
especially for those of you in the epicenter.
There'll be more trauma than we expect.
And I know that we're stronger than we think.
-So true.
We ask everyone who comes on our show
if they'd like to bring up a charity that they work with
or something they just want to shine a little light on.
-Yeah. -And you chose thehotline.org.
What is the hotline?
-So, it's a domestic violence hotline.
And it has been, you know,
it's a hotline, but its also been a life line
long before this crisis.
And it will continue to be a life line after this crisis.
But one of the things I think it's really important for me
to help people understand is there's a crisis
inside this crisis.
And that not everyone who has to stay at home right now
is safe at home.
And so, you know, when you have things like
financial insecurity, uncertainty, fear,
it can bring out the worst in already violent situations.
So this hotline is a way for people to get support,
hope, strategy.
Survivors are tough, amazing, resilient people,
but they need support.
And one of the tools of domestic violence is isolation.
So check on people.
And have the hotline. If you see something --
because we are closer to our neighbors now --
that concerns you, call the hotline.
And I just want to give a huge love shout out
to the people working that hotline,
the social workers, the caseworkers,
the counselors, the administrators
who are working on the hardest edges of love right now
during a crisis.
-Ah. Brené Brown, you're awesome.
I'm so thankful that you came on the show.
And I really want to see you in person.
Next time we'll talk we'll be in person, hopefully.
-I'd love that. -You're awesome.
Thank you for doing this. Thank you so much.
-Thank you.
-Bye. -Bye.