- I mean, I do think, I think it's awesome.
I think smoking's still cool. How about that?
Yeah, it's still cool.
- [Audience Member] Woo.
- There is nothing cooler than watching a 90 year old man
smoke a cigarette with that look on his face.
Like, yeah, I won.
(laughing)
When you put it like that. I think he did.
Smoke two. You're playing with house money.
I do recommend quitting smoking.
There are a lot of great benefits.
You save money.
Immediately 50%, less crazy people in your life.
Immediately.
Because when you smoke cigarettes in any city
and you go outside and light one up.
You might as well to shoot a fucking flare into the sky
that tells every drunk and insane person
you feel like having a conversation.
That little orange ember becomes like a lighthouse
for the mentally ill.
(audience laughing)
They could be five blocks away.
Taking a shit in the garbage can.
(audience laughing)
They see you smoking?
They're like,
ughhhhh.
I'm going to talk to that guy.
He needs a friend while he destroys himself.
(audience laughing)
I still smoke weed.
Medicinally.
Strictly medicinally.
I've got a chronic case of Netflix.
No, that's dumb.
You guys deserve a better joke than that.
And I apologize.
(audience laughing)
I just don't think weed's a drug.
Personally, I don't view marijuana like it is a drug.
I just don't think of it like that.
(audience cheering)
And it's nice to be in the room
with like-minded individuals.
I travel a lot and some cities I go to
still view marijuana like it is a class one narcotic.
(laughing)
If you think weed is a drug, you're adorable.
You really are.
Oh, you are the cutest thing ever.
Do you also think voting for president matters?
Okay.
(audience laughing)
It doesn't.
If you want to call marijuana a drug
to stop children from doing it.
Fucking, way on board with that. Absolutely.
But I'm 32.
Let me have this one.
(audience laughing)
Have you smoked weed in your thirties? It's not that fun.
It's not fun enough to call a drug.
That I know for sure.
(audience laughing)
To me, when you call something a drug,
it means you're having a fucking blast
while you're doing it.
Maybe when I was a teenager, maybe with weed.
Drink a bunch of beers,
light up a joint.
Like where's this night going to take me?
(audience laughing)
I don't know.
I'm getting high on drugs.
Now at 32, I just wait.
'Til it gets late.
Then I put on sweat pants.
(audience laughing)
And I smoke and I get nervous for three hours.
I don't think that's a drug. I don't.
I don't think you could call 'em.
I don't think anyone's doing that in an abandoned warehouse,
shirtless listening to electric dance music.
(audience laughing)
Said, let the beat drop.
Like, please don't let anything drop.
I'm so nervous.
(audience laughing)
I just, I think I was attract...
As a teenager, smoking weed,
I liked the recklessness of it.
I kind of liked doing that.
Like, you know, like I'd do dumb.
'Cause, I used to hotbox my car.
It's very dumb.
Me and three of my friends, all smoking a blunt like,
no one roll down your windows.
(audience laughing)
I want to breathe in this already exhaled weed smoke.
For the next 30 to 40 minutes.
As we listened to this Redman album.
Yeah, still do.
I just don't hotbox.
Now as an adult,
I take two soft hits under the fan in my bathroom.
(audience laughing)
Then I go sit on the couch for an hour like,
I gotta call my grandma more.
(audience laughing)
She's such a good Nana.
She is she's the best.
And I'll fight- No.
That's where my line is.
You want to say your grandma's better than mine?
I'll punch you in the throat.
I just hung out with my grandma for a week.
A week with an 88 year old lady.
You run out of topics to talk about quickly.
Just sitting there, staring at her like,
well ugh.
Dude, 88.
Crossword puzzles every day.
She drives. That's super dangerous.
(audience laughing)
We played Gin Rummy all the time.
Oh, ugh, she talks about death
with an ease that rattles my bones.
(audience laughing)
Holy shit it's creepy.
It's like gang members in my Nana talk about death
the same way.
Like these streets going' take me out.
I ain't a livin' Mark ass bitch.
You're like,
all right, Nana, stop it.
Stop it. Nana.
You ever talk to anyone over 80 about death?
It's just facts.
No emotions.
Closest I've ever came to interviewing a serial killer.
Just sitting there like,
Nana, what happened to rose next door?
She's gone.
(audience laughing)
She move?
You're never going to find her.
(audience laughing)
Did you kill Rose?
She's like,
(laughing) gin.
Oh you sneaky bitch. (audience laughing)
You're so good at this game, Nana.