HELLO, EVERYBODY!
LET'S ALL CONGRATULATE MY ADORABLE DAUGHTER, JULIE,
AND HER BRAND NEW HUSBAND, DONALD.
[APPLAUSE]
LET'S BRING OUT THE BAND AND GET THIS PARTY GOING.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MELODY WARBLE
AND HER GUITAR PLAYER, THAD.
THANK YOU.
I'M MELODY.
THANK YOU.
I'M THAD.
IS EVERYBODY HAVING A GOOD TIME TONIGHT?
[APPLAUSE]
I'M THAD.
WHERE'S THE BRIDE AND GROOM?
OH.
WELL IT'S TIME FOR YOU TWO
TO HAVE YOUR FIRST DANCE TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.
THIS IS FOR YOU.
♪ YOU MARRIED AN UGLY GUY ♪
♪ AND WE ALL DO WONDER WHY ♪
♪ YOU MUST BE INSANE ♪
♪ HIS NOSE IS TOO BIG ♪
♪ HE LOOKS LIKE A PIG ♪
♪ YOU MARRIED AN UGLY GUY ♪
♪ THIS MARRIAGE WILL NEVER LAST ♪
♪ DIVORCE WILL COME VERY FAST ♪
♪ YOU'LL BOTH BE ALONE ♪
♪ SO SAY ADIOS ♪
♪ YOUR HUSBAND IS GROSS ♪
♪ YES, YOU MARRIED...
♪ AN UGLY GUY ♪
AHH...OH...
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT WAS THE BEST SONG TO SING.
YOU DON'T?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I REALIZE DONALD IS A LITTLE ODD-LOOKING--
I HEARD THAT!
OOH!
UM, OOH...
MAYBE YOU CAN SING A SONG FOR THE GRANDPARENTS, HUH?
THEY'RE RIGHT OVER THERE.
COME ON, THAD.
HERE I COME, MELODY.
HI, THERE.
HELLO.
THIS SONG IS ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
♪♪♪
♪ YOU'RE EXTREMELY OLD ♪
♪ EXTREMELY OLD ♪
♪ YOU HAVE TOOTH DECAY ♪
♪ SOME MIGHT SAY YOU'RE ANCIENT ♪
♪ OLDER THAN THE HILLS ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOUR HAIR'S SO GRAY ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT YOUR NAME IS ♪
♪ WRINKLES ON YOUR FACE ♪
♪ YOUR FACE SHOULD BE REPLACED ♪
♪ YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE A HUNDRED ♪
♪ OR LIKE A THOUSAND-- ♪
YOO-HOO!
YES?
WHY DID YOU STOP US?
MAYBE IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA TO SING TO THE ELDERLY.
WHY NOT?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?
UM, MAYBE YOU CAN SING SOMETHING WE CAN ALL DANCE TO.
HUH?
WE'D BE HAPPY TO.
OK!
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, GRAB A PARTNER
'CAUSE IT'S TIME TO DANCE!
HIT IT, THAD.
OK, MELODY.
1...2...3...4...
♪ WELL, SWING YOUR PARTNER ROUND AND ROUND ♪
♪ PICK HER UP THEN PUT HER DOWN ♪
♪ SHAKE YOUR PARTNER ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ THEN PULL HIS HAIR AND MAKE HIM SHOUT ♪
OW!
♪ WELL, DANCE AROUND, THAT'S HOW IT GOES ♪
♪ FLAP YOUR WINGS AND BLOW YOUR NOSE ♪
♪ PROMENADE AND DOSEY-DOE ♪
♪ BARK LIKE A DOG AND STOMP HIS TOE ♪
[BARKING]
OW!
♪ DANCE LIKE A SQUIRREL WITH A BRAND NEW NUT ♪
♪ LEAN TO THE LEFT AND SLAP YOUR BUTT ♪
♪ NOW FLASH A SMILE AND BOW WITH GRACE ♪
♪ THEN GO PBBBBT RIGHT IN HIS FACE ♪
♪ SWING YOUR PARTNER ROUND AND ROUND ♪
♪ THEN WRESTLE HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND ♪
[ALL MUTTERING]
[TWEET!]
WRESTLE!