so what is the craziest hookup story you've ever had this happened to me very
recently I meet this girl she's wonderful we have a lot in common I
asked her out we end up going on a hike Saturday morning and it was amazing we
talked the whole time just got to know each other as we were talking we
realized that a both of us had an evening free I mean we went on
this hike in the morning so we decided let's meet back up in the evening we
went to the bar had a great time we ended up back at her place we ended up
getting hot and heavy I've always I've always worn all right never have I not
worn one but uh for some reason my pants were flung into the dark abyss of the
room and I could not find them and I told her I'm trying to find Mike I can't
find it and she said she like did this whole whisper thing she's like don't
worry I'm on the pill it's okay normally that wouldn't work for me but I was I
was just the right kind of drunk that night and I was like ah whatever
people like connect dots last year around this time which is November I met
a friend start putting games together we hung out
I got to know her she had a boyfriend that time three months later she text me
one day and saying she broke up with her boyfriend and so it was bad breakup and
she's already on She already has like kind of like bad thoughts and stuff like that so
when the breakup happened the way they broke up was bad to you because he was
already dating another girl so basically my friend was his side-chick
I say her into like a deep depression and like I was the only one there
actually messaging her I came to the point where she started saying very
scary things aired me she lived and she lived not too close to me whatsoever but
hearing these things being said I just couldn't imagine you know having one my
friends taken away from me like that so she lived eight hours away eight hours
so I was like I'm about to do this and I'm a man of my work I don't have any
money I don't have any you know any kind of objects or anything I can do to
really show my value the only thing I have my word so I told her I'm gonna
keep my work I said if you say any more if you say any more little scary things
like that I will go across the state of Texas to give you a hug I mean you're
you're my dear friend I can never see you like this ever and so like the day
later of course she said no three-week not recommended it felt different it
definitely did it was uncomfortable I didn't think too much of it and we were
drunk so he didn't really do too much and we fell asleep that was that where
the story really gets interesting is next weekend when I invited her to my
place we end up back in my bedroom and I start showing her what my new sheets
like I already had without it once what's the second time like I'm not
gonna catch something a second time which which is not the right way to
think it's flawed logic but I was thinking with my small head again it
felt really uncomfortable I was like you know what I need to get something from
the bathroom and she was like all right I'm so like as I'm walking to the
bathroom to get some Lube I look down and I see myself covered in blood and I
look back at her on my bed and she has blood between her legs and like on her
lower torso and I was like did she really not tell me that she was on her
period I was there for weekend no I asked I'm off my job and she did too and
I was like okay where I'm gonna say you know you can stay with
stay with me I'll be all right no problem as things progressed in the time
got closer and closer for us meetup things got a little bit more intimate
between us I guess you'd say some things were traded back and forth was I can
keep it at that and so it came to the points where I was on my way after do
anything I had no intention originally going there do this kind of though and
she was like mm yes you know brings this case okay other
thing I was driving down the road shooting clarified she still lived with
her parents so I was fun to figure out once I arrived I get there and you know
the first thing I say is I keep my promises I gave her a hug I mean all
good and when when I got there too I got some let's say stress for leaving
brownies for fun both got tired and we just went about after watching like
Naruto all night she wakes up a little bit and I'm a guy so you know and she
lives with her parents Otto one-story building or the appearance room is right
across the hallway we're heavier and they would just hear
hear the most terrifying things you never want to hear I'm like
and they're knocking on the door channelize know that lunch is ready we
didn't say anything they walked off you hear that puts us you know clamoring
away and when I look back at her like you know pick up where we left off there
was this look in her eye I could tell us not a good look so I
kind of stopped I was like what was wrong and she looked at me because I'm
not into nineteen-year-old I'm like I took a step back I was like what this is
happening now I did get the green light right well you know I kind of respected
her word so I backed off and I'm just kind of sat there and now is the hook-up
okay hopefully don't look too much but they find the video you're not gonna see
gizmo for the rest I wanted to like be cool about it so I was like uh are you
bleeding and she looked down and she immediately sat up and just just like
what the heck look what's going on and I looked down to myself and I realized I
wasn't just covered in I was Dripping and and so I told her wait a minute
maybe maybe I'm the one that's bleeding I was starting to get lightheaded so I
told her I'm just gonna stay in the shower for a little bit and figure out
what's what happened I sit down on the shower take off the toilet paper and I
found that I had ripped myself all right I was never circumsized and that was why
ribs and that never happened to me before because I always work first time
I didn't work it ribs I figured this out and I tell her what happened she
at this time I learned she was cleaning the bell of my carpet which was like who
does that that's awesome and she starts googling like what we should do and
stuff we end up going to the emergency room
yeah and I ended up getting that all stitched back up long story short it did
not heal very well a couple weeks ago I had to go get surgery to get myself
circumcised and that's where I am now and is it all healed good now like
you're back in action no maybe in like four to five weeks but uh that's how I
took care of no fat November and destroyed December in one day and we're
still dating nice dude you suck and so now you just
gonna be on no fat for like the next five weeks right
pretty much yeah I already feel the superpowers coming in yeah I can I can
levitate chicken yeah just wait so you can start reading minds that's that's
what I'm actually you guys are both going to exchange your like real life me
cards first it was like an urban legend did that someone was telling his beak
are like you know that's pretty cool get one I mean I'll be very funny and I
found the guy who read it I'm like oh