Hey guys!
Welcome back to Top 10 Nerd, I’m Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey.
You wanted more forever virginal heroes, and I have some for ya!
Now of course, there will be exceptions.
Even the most messed up superheroes generally find a way to get it on.
But hey, I’m just here to make some dirty jokes, so you’ll forgive me if these people
have a few canon lays under their belt.
Make sure to like and subscribe to the channel down below if you enjoy this video!
And if you haven’t seen Part 1, start there, linked right here.
Or down below.
Or both!
Now get ready, it’s time for the Top 10 Superheroes who can’t get Laid, Part 2!
Number 10: Infectious Lass.
I mean… the name speaks for itself.
Nobody in their right mind would sleep with someone named Infectious Lass.
She might as well be called Gonorrhea Girl.
And as it turns out, it’s for the best that people keep their distance, because if you
were to have sex with her, you would very quickly find yourself riddled with thousands
of diseases.
So either keep your distance, or invest in a full body condom.
And frankly, that just sounds like a great way to suffocate oneself.
Number 9: Silver Surfer.
Silver Surfer has a very unique look.
He’s shiny.
He’s silver.
Aaaand he has no penis.
While some women might be able to look past the blinding light bouncing off his skin,
he’d have a pretty hard time actually doing the deed.
Because to do the deed you need the d.
See?
No penis.
Still no penis.
(show pictures of him please) This is the worst, because he does still want relationships,
he just lacks the proper equipment to take it further.
Poor fella.
Number 8: Beautie.
Beautie is kinda in the same boat as Silver Surfer, except she’s straight up stated
that she has no genitalia.
If you don’t know Beautie, and a lot of you probably don’t, she’s a superhero
from Astro City, who’s basically a living, life-sized Barbie Doll.
And like Barbie…
she’s missing a certain something that would make it rather difficult to have sex.
I mean, I guess she could do mouth stuff, but that’s both splitting hairs, and super
weird to talk about, so I’ll just move on.
Number 7: Tobias from Animorphs.
Yeah, I know it might be a stretch to call him a superhero, but dangit I loved Animorphs
and I want to talk about them!
As you may know, Tobias, like the other Animorphs, could change into animals by touching them.
Unluckily, he ended up getting stuck in the form of a red-tailed hawk.
And despite what certain terrifyingly graphic websites would have us believe, most women
don’t want to have sex with animals.
And he probably doesn’t want to have sex with hawks.
Although he did eat mice…
God I need to read Animorphs again.
I should find books on tape!
Number 6: Deadman.
Yep, last time we had Deadpool, and we had Spider-Man, but now it’s time for Deadman!
Deadman is kind of like Spectre.
He has no physical form, but can take over the body of others to enact justice.
So first of all, it raises the question of whether he would even be willing to have sex
while using another person’s body, because that sounds kinda rapey to me.
And also, would it even count as him having sex, if it wasn’t his body?
I dunno.
The semantics of ghost-possessed-sex haven’t been fully fleshed out yet.
Oh god fleshed out works on so many levels.
I’m a genius.
Number 5: Arm Fall Off Boy.
Arm Fall Off Boy can’t get laid.
Because his power is that his arm falls off.
And that’s frickin bizarre.
There’s nothing else to say.
If you want to have sex, don’t rip your arm off and use it as a weapon.
Next.
Number 4: Bibleman.
There are so many reasons bibleman couldn’t get laid.
For one, just look at him.
Come on.
The dude’s a dork.
Not to mention that premarital sex would be a BIG OL’ no-no for the Bible-verse-spouting
superhero.
“But Ron,” you might say, “What if he got married?
Surely then he could make sweet sweet love to a lucky lady!”
Well viewer, Bibleman already is married.
He’s married to justice.
Full disclosure: that was a joke, I made it up, I don’t know anything about Bibleman
because it’s an awful, awful show.
But honestly…
I wouldn’t be surprised.
Number 3: The Hulk.
As I’m sure you know, Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk when he becomes excited.
When he becomes excited.
Yeah, you know what I’m getting at.
If he got too excited, how shall I put this delicately, while BANGIN’, things could
go very badly.
I mean, sure when he has more control he possibly could do it, but is that really a chance you
want to take?
Wait.
Hear that?
That’s the sound of everybody telling me he could sleep with She-Hulk.
Well guess what.
They’re cousins!
You piece of garbage!
Number 2: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Man, the Ninja Turtles were just destined to be virgins.
First, they’re giant turtles.
And you know what they say about giant turtles…
well, they aren’t sexy.
But it’s not like they could have sex with other turtles, because they’re all small.
And make terrible conversation.
Not to mention the fact that they’re teenagers, so if they managed to find the one person
with a giant turtle fetish, she might turn them down just because they’re underage.
No wonder they love their weapons so much – they’re definitely compensating.
Number 1: Danny the Street.
Danny the Street would have a hard time having sex.
Because he’s a street.
And streets oftentimes don’t have sex.
Wanna get laid?
Don’t be a street.
Are you a street?
You won’t get laid.
There really isn’t anything else to say.
The guy’s a street.
That’s it for today!
Hope you guys enjoyed, if you did please smack that thumbs up button and subscribe to Top
10 Nerd for more videos!
Want a part 3?
Would YOU have sex with any of these characters?
Let me know in the comment section down below!
Until next time, I’m Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey with Top 10 nerd.
Later nerds!
Negative Man.
Black Bolt.
Robotman.
When Cliff Steele, of course his last name was Steele, got in a car crash, his body was
destroyed.
But as luck would have it, they were able to put his brain into a robot.
And surprise surprise, the robot doesn’t have a schlong.
So it couldn’t do the dirty.
Sorry buddy.
other superheroes.
But I don’t care!
This is anarchy!
The world shall burn with me!
Moooohahahahaha!
Superman.
Full disclosure, this is a bit of a graphic one.
We’re going…
deep.
Heh.
Puns.
As we all know, Supes is strong.
Real strong.
And presumably all his muscles are strong, including the muscles used to shoot your…
stuff.
Now, he’s learned to control most of his muscles, but the question is, could he control
those ones?
Truth be told, it’s possible that he CAN control those muscles too, but the idea of
his jizz sending Lois Lane flying into space is just too morbidly hilarious not to mention.
Spider-Man.
Radioactive sperm.