- If you could go back to the first time we met,
what advice would you give yourself
regard of being in a relationship with me?
(chuckling)
That's a great question right there.
(cards shuffling)
(mouse clicking)
- [Peter] Why am I in your life?
- Because you were very aggressive
with the Facebook messages
and tagging me in a million posts.
- Yeah, that's my charm.
- Yeah, you were, you did that for sure.
But it like, I was happy that you did.
I liked the attention.
- Yeah.
- [Dawn] What are your three favorite memories
that we share?
- Three favorite memories that we share.
I feel like one is probably our engagement
because I goofed it so bad.
- Yes you did.
- I feel like trying to bumble through
asking you to marry me was a classic kind of me situation
where I was like I knew what I wanted to say
but the words didn't really come out right
and you kinda were like, "Is this happening?
What are you doing right now?"
And kinda helping me through it.
Classic, I feel like that's classic you and me story.
I feel like our wedding was a great sort of like
memory that we share,
I feel like even our friends to this day
tell us how great our wedding was and that's like
not intentional but it's kind of intentionally
like a good party that we threw that was great
and worked out very well.
And then I feel like, not to play favorites,
but I feel like being born,
having the first child born with both of us
was kind of like a, kind of a wild spur of the moment
kind of story that we planned,
but then somehow didn't plan at the same time.
If for some reason I lost my memory
what's the first thing you'd tell me about us?
- I think I would tell you that you have just always been
like my biggest supporter and you are my cheerleader
even when I don't feel like I deserve it
or even when I don't know I need it.
But just that our relationship has been so much
you like supporting me.
I don't know if that would help jog your memory
if you lost your memory,
but I feel like that's just so our relationship.
- Yeah.
I would probably point to our two kids and say,
"Look at them, they're definitely ours."
(laughter)
they're such a spitting image of the two of us
being like,
"We did this, I swear we love each other, look what we did."
(laughter)
- If you could go back to when we first started dating
which advice would you give yourself
regarding being in a relationship with me?
(laughter)
Run.
- No.
It's funny, because I would give myself the same advice
your friends gave me on our first date.
For lack of a better words or terms,
just like hang in there.
And that you were worth it.
And everyone had your best interests in mind,
which was I thought was very cute and I got that right away.
But they definitely made it seem like
it may be bumpy at times, but she's awesome
and it's worth it and hang out and endure
and it would all pay off.
And I feel like that holds pretty true.
- Yeah, I was a bit of a mess when we met.
I wasn't, but I was.
Like I was in a weird place.
- I feel like you, you made it seem like you were a mess
more than you were a mess then.
- I think I felt like I was a mess.
- Even then, I feel like you were,
like I remember that first, I remember that first date
you were kinda like the life of the party Dawn,
being very like out there,
and I'm gonna say ridiculous things in public
and everyone's gonna, "Oh Dawn."
And I remember being like, "Okay, this is Dawn.
Okay, I get this, like she's that girl."
And that's okay, 'cause I'm typically not that boy exactly
but I'm okay with it,
and I bet it comes from a different place and it did
and I get it all now.
But back then I would have just reiterated
what your friends already told me.
- I think that you helped me not feel like
I needed to be like that though.
You know?
Like I think so much of that was just like insecurity
and not feeling good enough
and wanting to be noticed for something.
And I think that having somebody who's like
so just, "I love you and I think you're great,
you don't have to be like that, you can if you want,
but like you don't have to be."
Has helped me kind of be comfortable just like
not having to do that.
- Yeah.
What have I healed in you?
- Well, kind of what I was just saying.
Like I felt unlovable.
I felt like I didn't deserve to be loved.
And you definitely, you just made me feel like
I'm so worthy and that I'm so,
that I'm so lovable.
I just, I never knew that I could feel so like secure
and loved by somebody.
So you really, you healed all of that in me
and then having our two beautiful daughters
and having them love me so much like,
I just never knew that I could feel so like complete.
- It's so nice because I'm happy that it
hit and it set in because I could tell when we first met
that that's kinda where you were coming from
and I wanted to make you feel comfortable and secure
and like strong and who you were and loved and supported
because I knew early that you were just like awesome
and I wanted you just to like know
that you were as awesome as I thought you were.
And I just wanted you just to focus on the
so many positives that you brought to the table
and just who you were as a person.
And you don't have to worry about past experiences,
and things that like weren't really even your fault.
But things that you ran into that were just like awful
and we're not there anymore, either of us individually,
so it's nice that we're just so much better together.
I love you.
- I love you too.
(laughter)
- What is the biggest sacrifice you have made
that I haven't acknowledged?
- I mean I feel like you have kind of acknowledged it,
but I think like moving back to Connecticut
is such a huge thing.
You know?
Like my whole life, I thought I will live in New York City,
I will never live anywhere else,
I will never move back to Connecticut.
But I think it was so organic,
you know, that we both just knew
that it was the right thing to do once we had (beep)
and the fact that our parents are here
and our families are here and it's just,
it just made sense.
But I think, I think for me it still feels like
kind of the ultimate sacrifice of you know,
giving up that life of my dreams of, you know,
being an actress and being a big shot attorney in Manhattan
and you know, now I'm so much happier,
but I still feel like I did definitely give up
a decent amount.
- Yeah.
And I agree that us coming back here was a big deal,
probably the biggest deal.
And I didn't think we'd be back here any time soon.
And I kind of had resigned myself to being fine with that.
- Well, you left Connecticut to move to New York
to be with me and that was, that was huge.
That was almost maybe bigger.
- I don't know about that, but.
- But it was very big.
- We both sacrificed for each other
and that's kind of how it works.
We're good that way.
- Yeah.
Well I definitely never anticipated being with somebody like
that was living in Connecticut
and that didn't drink and, you know,
that had kinda nothing in common with me.
But I don't know, I think that's probably why we work.
- Yeah.
- So all right, well is it my turn or your turn?
- Go for it.
- Okay.
How do you think my life would be different if we ever met?
- I feel like you'd still be in New York,
yucking it up, being the center of everyone's life
and the party and loving all that still.
You'd still be going out, coming home late,
getting up early, burning at both ends,
and trying to be an attorney potentially.
Maybe have given it up and done something else
because it wasn't appealing to you anymore
and wanted to check something else out and become,
go to med school, or whatever the heck
you'd be trying to do.
- God.
- But you'd definitely be in New York,
you'd definitely be just living your best life.
Just a different life, just a different life.
- I think my best life is right now,
so I wouldn't be living my best life.
- If this were going to be our last conversation
what's one thing you'd never want me to forget?
- Oh God.
Just gonna be weeping.
I mean just that like you are
the most amazing person I've ever met.
And your capacity for like love and patience
and kindness and understanding is infinite,
and you don't let a lot of people see that,
but like you are just the most caring person ever
and you put me and the kids before everything in your life.
And you know, we just, we are so lucky to have you
and I just want you to know how much we appreciate you.
- I feel like, I feel like I would struggle with the words
like my proposal to you and I would just cry and hug you
and tell you that I loved you over and over again.
I feel like I would just,
I would absolutely struggle with this.
- I don't ever wanna think about our last conversation.
- No, that's rough yeah.
- We don't need to talk about that.
- Hey guys, it's Melanie from The Skin Deep.
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