if you think dating today is hard
imagine how it must have been back in
the Kofun period of Japan we have all
kinds of options today dating apps huge
cities full of people body pillows but
they didn't have any of that back then
so what did they do what was marriage
like how did they view sex
what role did prostitution play in
society there is a lot of evidence that
Kofu in Japan had a pretty matriarchal
society much more matriarchal than in
later periods at the very least women's
status in society were similar to that
of men they had a lot of female clan
leaders even as late as the sixth
century the main comi of japan amethyst
was female shamans who were religious
leaders that revealed the will of the
kami were female remember that Queen
Himiko in the Yayoi period was a shaman
priestess there were a number of female
Empress's up into the end of the eighth
century early Japan had this pattern of
dual male-female rule if they were not
married the female was usually the older
one the female ruler usually handled the
religious business and the male ruler
handled the secular side of things we
see this pattern all over the place for
example in Shinto mythology he's the
Nagi and Izanami created the islands of
Japan they were a husband-and-wife pair
also brother and sister amethyst is the
camee of the sun and her counterpart
tsukiyomi is the kami
of the moon Queen Himiko had her brother
and later Empress's had a male relative
like a husband brother or nephew who
shouldered the burden of the throne with
them some historians suggest that the
Japanese imported this practice from the
continent the Shilla dynasty in the
Korean Peninsula also seemed to have
this double male-female rule we found a
Korean tomb where a king and queen were
buried but it was the queen who wore the
crown and flaunted all kinds of shiny
jewelry the liao in China trace of oil
blood through both male and female lines
some of this matriarchal mindsets lived
on to the modern era where if there were
no suitable male heir the throne could
be passed on to a female this practice
only recently stopped during the Meiji
period when women were forbidden from
sitting on the throne here's another
sign of the matriarchy oh no the
matriarchy after marriage the wife
continued to live in her parents home
hubby
either visited once in a while or lived
a nightmare of a life by moving in with
the Weiss family I know at this early
stage inheritance went through the
female line a man who sought sacker ear
in the Imperial courts moved to the
capital supported financially by his
wife's family in return for representing
their interests in courts his wife
stayed home she and her family took care
of their children in later periods as
Japanese society became more patriarchal
men would demand to have their own homes
in the capital where they would live
with their wives separate from the
wife's family you could see this as them
gaining independence except they
demanded the wife's family pay for their
new homes come on guys marriage between
pretty close family members was the
thing in these days like marriages
between aunts and nephew step-siblings
stepmother and stepson the reason may
have been to maintain close relations
within the family polygamy was common
early on they had both kinds men with
many wives and women with many husbands
eventually only men were allowed to have
multiple spouses some rich woman could
indulge in extramarital hanky-panky
but it became rude to take on additional
husbands and now for what 90% of you are
waiting for sex and hookers prostitution
was legal and was common in major
trading hubs most sex workers did it to
pay off debts or their parents told him
to pay off their own debts but there was
a smaller number of high-class
prostitutes who chose the profession it
does not seem like there was a stigma
against prostitutes they could own and
inherit property and often live the
normal life or adopted a normal
profession after their sexual career
these early Japanese prostitutes
actually had more job opportunities
after the careers ended then another
type of prostitutes the u.s. politician
who after their political careers end
can only seem to find jobs in the
lobbying field I couldn't help but
wonder how these Japanese courtesans
avoided STDs or didn't avoid bamboo
condoms probably not too popular
couldn't find any info about it the
shame they did not seem to be a
prohibition against sexual promiscuity
like there was in judeo-christian
societies you
for sexual experimentation and
premarital sex was common and expected
they had a fun practice that I think you
like called Hawaii or night crawling and
nights a young unmarried man would sneak
into a young unmarried woman's bedroom
without alerting the rest of the
household and propositioned her she
would think long and hard about it if
she declines The Creeper slinks off with
his tail or something else between his
legs if she accepts they bump and he
leaves before morning even if the other
family members know they usually turn a
blind eye towards it this practice was
considered a normal part of the dating
process there wasn't really a formal
marriage ceremony after a woman sleeps
with the same guy a few times he can
stay over for breakfast making it
official and there you go a happily
married couple the practice varied
between regions in some places older
people could do it or even married women
could participate it seems fun and all
but as you can imagine problematic
things may have happened how easily
could woman refuse and how often did men
continue even after being rejected
farmers would house many seasonal
workers for their fields knowing that
their daughters may be night crawled
upon there were no prohibitions against
masturbation or homosexuality sex
between men was common and did not make
them seem less masculine in fact it
became the preferred sexual relationship
between warriors well into medieval
Japan it's pretty safe to say that sex
between women was also accepted since we
don't see any social prohibitions
against it they also didn't particularly
value virginity or saving themselves for
marriage this period of equality of the
sexes changed as Japan began adopting
more Chinese culture particularly
Confucianism Confucius was like the old
neighbor who kept telling you the pull
of your pants put on some damn clothes
and stop peeing on my dog whenever
people wanted to have a good time
Confucius had to go and ruin it for
everyone
Confucianism was more puritanical when
it came to sex and very patriarchal the
patriarchal ideals did come to dominate
Japan but the sexual conservatism did
not seem to penetrate as much the only
real concern about sexuality that they
imposed was making sure there was a male
to continue the family line if the man
produced an error his sexual activities
were beside the point