(transitional music)
- Are you wondering if you should give
your boo the boot?
This is the perfect show for you.
- Each one of these couples
thinks that one of them is going on a a date with one of us.
- But the other one will be watching
and calling the shots from a secret location.
- At the end of the day, we're gonna grade them
and let them know if they are relationship material
or nah.
- Smash!
- I would say dash.
- Ladies and gentlemen this is
- Smash or Dash.
- All the strippers love this show
- On this episode, we have Myla
who's head over heels for her friend Tabitha.
There is just one problem,
Tabitha is keeping her in the friend zone.
Can Tabitha's mind be changed?
- Who we got in the building?
On the couch?
- Well, its your girl Myla Ray
I play ball,
you know me and my homegirls we went to this open gym
and this girl came in
her name is Tabitha
( chattering)
yeah, Tab.
I told my best friend that I was playing ball with
that's my best friend Alnisa.
I'm like yo, who dat?
She looks good, like I'm trying to see what's up with her,
I told my best friend, "yo, I think I'm going to try
and get her number whatever."
but I didn't,
so, maybe like a month later
Alnisa was at a club
and she was like, "pull up whatever."
so when I got to the club I see Tabitha
in her section with her.
They just in their own little zone.
- so, I'm just like, y'all like each other?
What's going on with--
- All these women! All these women?
- Uh-huh, yeah.
- This is a whole lot of triangles,
how did you fall in all these triangles?
- Right, how did you get caught up in all this?
- That's what I'm trying to say because I don't know.
Me and Tabitha started hanging out on our own
I started going round to her house more
I done brought her food
you know, I done cook but--
- But you'd still like Tabitha
if you found out that Alnisa smashed?
- I don't know, probably not.
- Well Hopefully we'll be able to get that information
for you today.
- So what we gon do, is we gon send Maddy
- Maddy.
- Who is better with the girls, its your girl Maddie.
- What's your sexual preference?
- Anyone who likes me.
(laughter)
(lively upbeat music)
- Tabitha look like she might have some game on her.
- This the girl you going all crazy about?
- She getting buckets!
( lively suspenseful music)
- Hi.
- Hello.
- What's going on?
- I would've gotten the chair for you but...
- She already flexing
- There you go, I told you.
- She's Flexing already
- Tell me about yourself.
- Dude kinda boring
- I love that
- Hannah, go in
(indistinct chatter)
- Hey
- Hello
- Ask her about playing basketball
- So I heard you're a basketball player
- I am
- Yeah, I could probably burst your ass up
- Yeah
- To be honest
- You think so?
- Yeah
- How tall are you?
- 5'6
- No way
( laughter)
- Tabitha, pay attention to me.
- Tell her to back up off the chocolate mehn
- Back up off the chocolate
(laughter)
- Cheers
- So if I was tryna get with you
how would you want me to do it?
- I don't know, I'm very hard to get
- I know
- That's why even with Myla,
- Myla?
- She said Myla, she's upfront.
- Myla is somebody who I've been knowing
for about three to four years, I play basketball with her.
- Oh.
- She used to kinda, like stalk me.
- Oh!
- You're a stalker?
- Oh hell no, she's lying.
- But she was very persistent, she knew what she wanted.
- So why didn't you like her?
- She's not my type.
- What...
- What's your type?
- Crazy.
(mouthing noises)
(laughter)
(transitional upbeat music)
- What you do that for?
- Cleaning it.
- Are you a Germaphobe?
- Mh-hmm, want some?
- yes
- What? She ain't do that to me.
- She ain't do that to you?
- Oh hell no, I'm ready to go out there.
- I am a slight germaphobe but I'm gonna not gonna be today
- You're a germaphobe when you just put that in my mouth?
- Exactly, I said I'm not gonna be today
- Well how do I tell you this?
I'm infected with every disease in the world.
- Me too
(laughter)
- Well well well, guess we have the same sign.
Are you really into astrology?
Mh-hm.
What's your sign?
- Scorpio.
- Scorpio?
- What do you think about them?
- Scorpios are..
- Slut
- Awesome, quiet, sluts
(laughter)
- Chaotic,
- Sluts
(laughter)
- Introverted
- But really slutty.
- No
( laughter)
- Let me try this chicken
- You said you played Myla in basketball right?
- So you played Myla in basketball?
- I did, she's a cool person,
I guess I can say she has a good personality
she's not my type.
- So why you hanging out with her
and make her bring food and stuff
- Why do you hang out with Myla if its not...
- If I do hangout with her its just a chill vibe
with our group of friends.
- Talk about basketball
- I've been thinking about getting into basketball
I'm not gonna lie.
Is it too late?
I can actually get into it.
I'm really good.
Can I show you a little bit of what I've learned
so far in basketball?
- Show me.
- Hannah come on in there and play basketball with them.
- You wanna go one on one?
- Yeah
- Okay, I have the ball.
- Make Tabitha coach y'all.
- Tabitha, coach us.
- What do y'all wanna learn?
Shoot, shoot, just shoot.
- Like this?
- Show us how to back down.
- Tab, Tab, Tab, Tab.
Okay.
- That's working?
- Oh Hell no.
- I was the best
- Oh, the chicken is amazing, the breasts are even better.
- Okay
- Thank you.
- Thank you Hannah.
Yes!
- Chocolate town, for the lady.
- I was full but--
- For the lady.
- Let me give some to you
- Is it my braces?
- Maybe.
- Oh!
- Let her eat it
- Slum dunk.
( mouthing noises)
- You funny
( laughter)
- Bro!
- This is a bug?
- What is it?
- Its a bug.
- Yo, What the fuck!
- She really just ate the bug.
( laughter)
- Oh hell no.
- You just ate the bug
- Is it really?
- You like protein
( throat gargling)
- She is fearless, I can see why you like her.
- Send in our special guest.
- I'm here, I am missing.
- Oh- oh
- Okay, hold up, here is the recap
Alnisa is Myla's best friend
who also had a thing for Tabitha and pursued Tabitha
behind Myla's back.
This is getting crazy.
- So, what's the deal between you and Myla?
That's why we're here trying to figure out what's going on.
- Yes, what's going on?
- You tell me.
- Maddie, ask them how far it went with them.
- Have you guys smashed?
- Well,
- I tried
- You tried, And Tabitha didn't...
Tabitha is a door that will not be unlocked.
- I've been trying to find the key.
- She tryna find the key.
- Oh!
- I told you!
- Well it seems like everyone wants to (bleep) Tabitha.
- Oh man
- Everybody
- Everyone but the camera guys
- You never know.
- Every one but the camera guys?
What Maddie mean by that?
- Do you ever have feelings for Alnisa?
- I plead the fifth.
- That's not allowed in this show
- She plead the fifth
- She's always avoiding stuff
- Are you seeing anyone now?
- Not for a year, I'm giving myself a year
- But I really liked her
- When?
After Myla told you she liked her?
- So you and Myla liked Tabitha at the same time?
- I liked Tabitha first
( hollering)
- Myla said she liked me first and she told her
so its a whole big thing, that's what she said.
- In my opinion, you should both get over Tabitha.
- What if Myla said relationship or nothing.
- What if Myla said to you, "relationship or nothing."
- Wrap it up B.
- Say dead ass, we gotta wrap this up.
- Listen, we gotta wrap it up.
But we do have another surprise.
- Oh!
- Say dead ass we gotta wrap this up.
- We're gonna take that ass back there.
(hysterical laughter)
- Say dead ass, like, dead ass.
- Dead ass.
I'm dead ass right now.
- You're speaking to someone live ass
- You're ready?
- Yeah
No, I'm not ready.
- Lets go.
Everyone Tabitha is here.
(cheering)
- Who's in here Tabitha?
- The basketball player, get in here.
- What do you guys think of our date?
- Are we still on our date?
- Yeah, we're still on our date
now its a group date.
- So you knew she liked you?
- And I said I thought it was a joke.
Yeah she been cooking for me though, I ain't gon lie
- Yeah, you gotta stop tryna use people for...
(screams and yells)
- Tabitha, You are the father.
(laughter)
- So its our job to tell Myla
if she should Smash or Dash.
- What do you say pretty B?
- I'm gonna have to say dash
- Well I would say Dash, but smash if you can.
Cause you've been wanna hit that anyway.
- For a long time.
- You should give at least tryna hit it one or two times
and then you know, Dash.
- Well im'ma say dash,
not only dash,
I need you to go find the coldest woman you ever seen
and pay her to just burst her ass
she acting like an open gym.
- And your hat's saying humble, and you not even humble.
- No, never.
- Myla, you know what, you should smash yourself
okay, so ultimately Dash.
(laughter)
- We have come to the conclusion that you need to dash.
Dash on her, stop trying, she not with it.
- And that's the way the cookie crumble.
- On smash or dash.
- So, the whole cast told me to dash
I kinda feel mixed emotions
because I really thought that she liked me
but imma take their advice
and just, I don't know
find somebody else.