Thank you, thank you very much, thank you
Hello! Hello everyone, or as we say in South Africa, hello!
It's really wonderful to be here, this is my first time working with Comic Relief
when they asked me to join they said Trevor we'd really love you to join Comic Relief and I said I'd love to
do it, do I have to come to the UK but then I found out
that they're actually projects in South Africa that I got to take part in which is really
wonderful for me
for two reasons one because obviously it's close to my heart I grew up in a township
a but more importantly I didn't have to fly which is really great
because flying has been particularly stressful for me
in the recent months mostly because of the ebola crisis
as a South African traveller flying anywhere in the world has been extremely stressful
because it has been extra stringent measures that have been placed on us
you know flying to America particularly has been the worst you go through different
lines, there's extra checks you know especially if you come from what they consider
a high-risk ebola region which is apparently the whole continent
cause we're all coughing on each other in one big hut
I don't really blame them cause look, the truth is most Americans don't know much
about South Africa so I well they don't know much about
Africa as a whole, well most of them don't know much about anything, but still
like it's just weird because you would land America and the questions
they would ask you at the border control would be so interesting, like you'd get there
a man would look at me and as soon as he'd see I was from South Africa he'd be like, Sir
South Africa, have you been in contact with ebola?
like my answer would be yes, next stop Disney World!
Would I really still be traveling I've been in contact
with one of the most deadly diseases on the planet is that what type of person do you -
ahh I paid for that trip I'm going
even if it kills everybody, like why would I do something like that
And the way they would ask it as well me made it sound like ebola was a distant relative of mine
like a cousin, have you been in contact with ebola? Yeah, I spoke to him last week!
he's doing well, thanks for asking
Such a strange world was, was honestly one of the worst trips I ever took
because what happened is we flew in, so I was flying to Los Angeles
and because of that we have to stop over in Atlanta and change planes
and when we got off our plane went off and we got into another plane
and when we did they made an announcement as we got onto the plane
they told other passengers that we were from a South African plane and so
they were going to be spraying the cabin
for their safety. But they said this as we walked on the air hostess came on and she was like
ladies and gentlemen please note we've got some passengers
joining us from a South African flight
and due to the ebola crisis right now we're just gonna spray the cabin
shouldn't be too harmful, you can cover your eyes and a nose if you think
it'll harm you but it should be okay and we'll be on our way shortly
thank you very much. We walked on to that, that's our introduction.
As we're walking on, hello hello, was like a scene from Forrest Gump, everyone was like, can't sit here!
can't sit here! It wa shonestly one of the worst flights I've ever taken in my life
I've like, it was so tense I coughed once
The plane shook, there was this one guy who couldn't even hold it, I couldn't hold it any longer
and he couldn't hold it, it was like...and he was like ebola!!
Ebola! I was like calm down, calm down
It's just AIDs, calm down, you're safe for now
The stress! Everybody. We landed finally
in Los Angeles but still we weren't allowed to disembark
The air hostess came back on to make another announcement she said
Ladies and gentlemen plsease stay in your seats
before we can disembark the plane we're just gonna have a quick safety procedure
checking, health and safety officials coming on board to make sure everything
is up to standard and we should be on our way shortly
thank you very much. So we have to sit there while the health and safety official
came on board the plane
and his job was using a list of African passengers
he was gonna go around and then scan each passenger and make sure they were healthy
and what he had, he had a laser thermometer and he'd go to each African
point it at our heads and then basically the way it worked on the thermometer is if
you're very hot then you've got ebola, I think that's how it works
So walk down, scan the people, walk down, scan the people, and I know why he did this, he came down to my row
walked all the way to me, to me scanned the people around me, looked at me
and then just shook his head and walked away, like
almost like I wasn't African enough or something...
I mean he scanned the people around me and he moved on
so because of this a few rows later he was short one name on the list
which was mine and so he calls the air hostess over and he's like I got a name
I don't know, and she's like are you sure, did you check, and he's like yeah I don't know who it is ...
And this commotion and it's growing and it's growing and now I think they're talking about me
I'm pretty certain but I'm not gonna be the guy was like excuse me I think I'm
I'm the ebola threat! Yeah I'm not gonna say that
So I'm just listening while this is, and the commotions growing, keeps growing
So the whole plane starts listening everyone gets involved
and then at its height, at its height there was a man three rows behind us
of Middle Eastern descent, he had a big beard, very traditional regalia on
and I'll never forget this, he leaned into the middle of their conversation with
no hint of irony
whatsoever just leaned in and was like excuse me, pardon me
ah, you probably want to check the gentleman over there
something suspicious about him I notice, might want to check in there
that guy was coughing
I was like really?
Et tu Ahmed
How the wheel has turned my friend
you forget there was a time when muslims were the black people of the skies
now you have turned on me, I thought he would be on my side
I thought he would relate, I thought he would be like don't worry I know how it feels, I got you
Instead he was like, enjoy being under the bus!
It was a stressful time. Coming into the UK has been a bit nicer
you know, I guess people are a bit more informed - not that it's easy don't get me wrong
flying to the UK is a lot of stress
you have one of the most stressful border controls I have ever come into
in my life, like they ask you so many questions, question upon question upon question
I've got the right paperwork, I've got the visa
Comic Relief, the guy looks at me he's like so you're a comedian, I said yeah, he's like you don't look funny
I just woke up and what what what does that even mean?
And he kept asking me questions and at one point I stopped I said look man
look man, I've given you the paperwork, I've told you why I'm here, why don't you believe
me? He said, well look the truth is we can't just believe everybody that comes into
the UK, we can't just believe
that you gonna do what you say you here to do that doesn't make sense you might
do something totally different
I was like, yeah fair enough, that makes sense
I just wish as Africans we'd thought of that when the British arrived
would've served us well
What is that flag for? Oh, just going to wave it in your country
Ahh, come on in!
You guys have been fantastic, thanks so much for having me
Have a great night