What does pride mean to me?
To me it's the–
On the one hand
it's the opposite of shame
so it's all about self acceptance
And kind of...
working against internal and
external structures that tell you that
you're not good
or you're not good enough
because you're not...
fitting into certain categories
or norms right?
Right! And, you know
to build on what
you're saying is
about family
A lot of us
in the queer community
we...
get to choose
our family
Oftentimes because our
biological families might reject us
And in that choosing
there's something so powerful
and so fundamentally human
around finding community
and finding that kind of safe space
where you can flourish and
really truly achieve your true potential
[ES] And-but on the other hand, I think
it important...
it's an occasion to remember
to remind oneself and to
familiarise oneself with the ongoing
struggles that are still very much present
beyond one's own bubble
[JM] What we can't forget is that
sometimes even within our own
family...
we might not be as accepting as
we should of each other
[ES] I, you know, sometimes think
the term LGBT...
Q+... whatever all the letters
that are now coming–
are being added to it
There are so many differences
Um...
Because there are so many different
identity aspects
It's about...
sexuality
You know, sexual
attraction, preferences
Potentially...
it's about whether you
feel sexual attraction at all
and under which circumstances
but then it's about gender
and it can be about your body
in terms of sex chromosomes and
so there are so many different
identities but...
I think as you said earlier
focusing on what unites us
is really helpful
Um...
That we come together and that
we are -
altogether - experiencing still...
um...
non-normativity around our identities
and that will of course shape
how others interact with us
So... yeah
I think it's sometimes challenging
because there's so many differences
and nuances...to
identities linked to that acronym
but I like to focus on
being united and similarities
as you said
[JM] Something that I really enjoyed
when I first moved to the UK in 2004
was that–
I come a very conservative world
but coming here and having everybody
refer to their other half as their partner
is a very non-gender specific way
And in my mind, I thought:
Is that a male partner?
Is that a female partner?
Is there an other partner?
What is going on?
Everyone's got partners!
So it was really interesting is that
people didn't feel the need
to say, 'My girlfriend' or 'boyfriend'
'my husband' or 'wife' or –
It was just my significant other but
specifically:
partner
And I love that! Because
um...it shouldn't matter
what gender or how you identify
what your partner is or is not
It's just the fact that you have someone
who is your other half
And maybe perhaps you have
multiple other 'halfs'!
so something else that I discovered
about meeting people who are in trios
and moresomes and polyamorists
So this is a beautiful spectrum of...
all different ways that
we live our lives and
I think that the numbers that say
We're X percentage of
the population are a lie
If everybody were truly honest
with themselves
I would think that the majority of us
are somewhere on the spectrum
as opposed to
fitting only in one category
[ES] So I also moved to the UK
from somewhere else
so I-I'm not local in that sense
I'm Austrian
and sometimes...
you know, now experiencing...
the UK and Cambridge, specifically
it just puts...
what I've known before in perspective
And makes me aware of some of
these limitations of what I
even could imagine
[JM] Definitely!
And it-it's so important...
to the experience in Cambridge as well
that's exactly what I found because
I came out in Cambridge
I hadn't realised–
I always knew that there was
something different about me
You know, the signs were there
obviously
but there's something, like...
quite suppressed
because of...
cultural and just environmental reasons
Um... it was a safety mechanism
I was bullied et cetera
like so many of us have been
and coming to Cambridge
is the first time where I felt...
free...
Because my only experience had been
either being home
in a very...
religiously conservative, like the
environment where I grew up
Or...
um...going to school in New Orleans
which was very hyper liberal
and very, kind of, out
and very um.. radical!
Um...
and not knowing where I fit in
because I kept thinking to myself
Well obviously
I feel different inside
and I'm suppressing it
But then when I went to these more...
kind of, radical, out, [indinstinct]
and I didn't feel like–
I didn't fit in there either
So I kind of fell between the cracks
And I was thinking
Well I don't know who I am
And then coming to Cambridge
people just took me as a person
and it's the first time in my life
I'd ever experienced someone just–
looking at me as
Oh, you're Jason! That's great!
Tell me about yourself
And there's something
about the culture here
that individualism and essentialism
you're allowed to have all these
facets to your personality
whereas where I grew up
you are very much put into a bucket
Like you're either x or y
You're either a or b
And...
that was so refreshing it blew my mind!
And it created a safe environment
where I could actually explore
and discover who I truly was
[ES] I personally fight a bit
against that idea that...
you're only good –
a good queer, a good gay
if you are out
and that you only live
in your true self if you're out
I mean for many people
that's an experience they had
and it's lovely
but I also think...
we shouldn't just expect
and demand outness and visibility
because I think we then forget
what's at stake for many people still
But yes visibility helps to create
a more safe environment
It's a bit of a...erm... complex one...
visibility
But yeah, I think if you–
If one is comfortable
and feel safe to be out
I think one should
for oneself but also for others
[JM] This idea that somehow...
adding another layer of stress
Uh... typically coming from
within our own community
to other members
of our community saying
You're not out that means
you're ashamed of who you are
You're not out that means
you're not a real gay
you're not a real queer
you're not proud of who you are...
is...
nonsensical!
[ES] Yes!
[JM] We should all be working towards
a world where people can be
as out and proud as they want to be
[ES] Exactly