math are you all right because this week
you've been a victim of crime I was
mugged this week you were nights ago
yeah I uniforms everyone nicely there's
pretty good crime watch with an audience
I was most oh I was I was actually mug
this a couple of nights ago I was in a
pub and with a friend and is he kidding
mugged in a pub I got mugged in a pub
okay that just been in a pub where we
uses in grab grab you or what no listen
listen it's a good stories good yeah let
me tell you the amusing anecdote
starting in on two weeks in a row you
back up in a pub with a friend and an
old lady came in selling flowers and she
was of Eastern European descent not note
no racial thing to be just saying she
just was yes she just was I'm not she
was yes and and she but she was like a
very sort Dickensian impoverished sort
of lead by flower blue blue baby and
that one good flowers let's be honest
you know when you see the flowers sell
it they're not good flowers they were
very dry but I didn't it was a first
date I didn't know what it would have
been a bit previous to buy so anyway so
I said oh no thank you but she just
wouldn't go away so all right well look
I don't want any flowers but let me I'll
give you some money and I put a hand in
my pocket and I didn't have any coins
about a five-pound note I thought oh
well I'm on television I'll give our
whole five pounds I gave her the money
but what she did was she put the flowers
down and she started kissing my hands in
kind of this sort of or dead heels so
much kept kissing my hand
kiss my friend's hand kissed my hands
picked up the flowers and left and I
thought well I'll do a comedy thing I'll
pick up the phone and say ma'am you can
come back in now lacrosse I went for the
phone and the phone wasn't there and I
thought hello hello impoverished wretch
has had my phone so I ran out the pub I
thought very dramatically like you my
friend said I was actually quite a camp
run
I saw the woman and I shoved her against
the wall and I said give me the phone
okay as you know I know I know I said
give me the phone and she will know I
don't give me the phone and then she did
this brilliant thing where she sort of
took the phone out from under the
flowers as if she didn't know it was
there oh right and I said right give me
the money
what love and money give me the money
like this and so she gave me the money
back and I thought you know some of her
accomplices might be around so I ran
away but the thing was I don't know the
way I ran through a crowd of people who
gathered and all they saw was me shoving
up against somebody do you think I've
moved in all that hard up we haven't
seen him on tell you for a while he
could go and do I'm a celebrity or
something
I actually got I got the phone back I
got the money back what a good happy
Harry and I got the two crappy flowers
she gave me was a good luck
you