Hi.
This guy says, "Hello," I want to kill myself.
You okay, sweetie?
I just feel like someone reached down my throat
grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth
and tied it around my neck.
Cookie?
Carol moved her stuff out today.
(all) Ohh.
- Let me get you some coffee. - Thanks.
Oh, ugh.
Uh-oh, no. No, don't. Stop cleansing my aura.
Don't. Just leave my aura alone, okay?
I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone
I hope she'll be very happy.
- No, you don't - No, I don't.
To hell with her, she left me!
And you never knew she was a lesbian.
No, okay?
Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
She didn't know, how should I know?
Sometimes, I wish I was a lesbian.
Did I say that out loud?
Alright, Ross, look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now.
You're angry. You're hurting.
Can I tell you what the answer is?
Strip joints!
Come on, you're single. Have some hormones..
But I don't want to be single, okay?
I just, I just, I just want to be married again.
And I just won a million dollars.
Rachel?
[gasps] Oh, God, Monica, hi. Thank god.
I just went to your building and you weren't there.
And then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here
and you are. You are.
Can I get you some coffee?
Decaf.
Okay, everybody this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.
This-this is everybody.
This is Chandler, and Phoebe
and Joey.
And you remember my brother, Ross?
- Sure! Hi. - Hey.
So you want to tell us now, or are we waiting
for four wet bridesmaids?
Oh, God! Well..
...it started about a half-hour before the wedding.
I was in this room where we were keeping all the presents
And I was looking at this gravy boat.
This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat.
When all of sudden.. Sweet N' Low?
I realized
I realized that I was more turned on
by this gravy boat than by Barry.
And then I got really freaked out.
And that's when it hit me
how much Barry looks Mr. Potato Head.
You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but..
Anyway, I just had to get out of there
and I started wondering "Why am I doing this?"
and "Who am I doing this for?"
So, anyway, I just didn't know where to go
and I know that you and I have kind of drifted apart
but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue.