One of the biggest strengths of the INFJ personality type is undoubtedly
their internally focused way of learning and conceptualizing the world. They have dominant
Introverted Intuition (Ni), which gives them a birds eye view of the world, with numerous
perspectives and ideas on how everything is connected. However it does not make decisions.
That is done by their secondary cognitive function; Extroverted Feeling (Fe). It is
what turns an INFJs intuitive perceptions into judgments and decisions. However it
is one of an INFJs weaker functions, and so it doesn’t get used as adequately as it should.
When INFJs bypass their Extroverted Feeling (Fe) function, their minds run the risk of entering an
imbalanced state. This is sometimes also called an Ni-Ti Loop and it happens when an INFJ loses touch
with their extroverted functions and starts operating with only their introverted ones,
essentially trapping them in a cycle of perceiving and thinking that leads to nowhere.
We made a video on the perils of being in a loop if you want a fuller explanation,
but suffice to say, its not a pleasant place to be.
For an INFJ to either avoid, or escape an Ni-Ti Loop once in one,
they must strengthen their Extroverted Feeling function in order to re-balance their mind.
So lets explore 7 Ways to Escape the Ni-Ti Loop (Best Tips for INFJs)
Please leave a like if you enjoy this video and let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
So what is Extroverted Feeling (Fe) exactly
Extroverted Feeling is an INFJs auxiliary function.
It is focused on externalizing values into the world outside one’s self,
and understanding the emotions and values of people outside one’s self.
It gives INFJs the ability rationalize. It is able to ‘note how things usually happen and
help INFJs adapt their behavior accordingly. This is because “rational behavior is always based on
predictability — things we know to be true because they happen regularly and in the same way”.
In the decision making process, Extroverted Feeling (Fe) will focus
on criteria that is both specific and personal to weigh up options,
such as; shared values, beliefs and moral sensibilities. It can identify people in a group,
pick up on unspoken social cues and help maintain social harmony.
Accessing Extroverted Feeling (Fe) is therefore incredibly important for INFJs,
as it enables them to make sense of their perceptions and act accordingly.
Unfortunately for most INFJs,
using their Extroverted Feeling (Fe) doesn’t come as naturally as using their Introverted Intuition
(Ni), its just not as strong. However our cognitive functions are like muscles,
so with a little conscious effort, the Extroverted Feeling (Fe) function can be strengthened. A well
developed Extroverted Feeling (Fe) function is able to jump start an INFJs personal growth,
and give them access to the full power of their personality type.
So how does one develop their Extroverted Feeling (Fe) function?
Actively engage in small talk
INFJs are notorious for disliking small talk.
As introverts, they want to derive meaning from their interactions,
otherwise they see no point. However actively talking to new people and engaging in small talk
is one of the most effective ways an INFJ can develop their Extroverted Feeling (Fe) function.
Being exposed to different types of people, cultures, and relationship dynamics can
actually help refine their awareness and understanding of their environment. It
helps strengthen their interpersonal skills, and allows them to foster harmony with others.
For INFJs, finding people they can trust to discuss their thoughts and feelings with
can also help them solve problems and make better decisions,
as they are processing externally, as opposed to alone in their mind. Extroverted Feeling
uses interactions with others as a basis for decision-making, talking with other people can
therefore be a big help in clarifying the steps one must take in the decision making process.
The more people an INFJ meets, the more they’ll be able to develop this side
of their personality. Extroverted feeling is not something that can be strengthened
whilst staying inside ones own head. INFJs must get out of their introvert comfort zones
and interact with real people in order to do that.
Write down your feelings
INFJs don’t tend to make good decisions when it involves processing their own
feelings. They do better with their thoughts and emotions out in the open,
as their Extroverted Feeling function is able to make better sense of them.
A great way INFJs can begin to externalize their thoughts and feelings is through writing,
perhaps in something like a journal. It can also be a very safe option for INFJs to practice
expressing their internal thoughts, as they don’t have to share it with anyone.
Research has also shown writing your thoughts down can reduce intrusive thoughts.
When in an Ni-Ti Loop, negative thoughts and emotions are all consuming. This can become
incredibly stressful, especially when dealing with a challenging situation. By journaling INFJs are
able to disrupt the cycle of negative thoughts by stopping and putting their emotions down on paper.
As they write, they may even come up with a solution they hadn’t thought of before.
Improve your “theory of the mind”
When INFJs are not utilizing their Extroverted Feeling (Fe) function adequately, their mind
tends to default to using their Tertiary function, Introverted Thinking (Ti). INFJs prefer to live
in their heads, so that’s why the switch to their introverted function is so automatic.
INFJs in a Loop use their thinking function disproportionately.
This can cause them to ruminate on their thoughts, particularly the negative ones.
It can also make them come across very cold and distant in their relationships,
as they start to examine things from an irrational and subjective perspective.
INFJs need to get back in touch with their feeling side to better access their emotions.
One great way to do this can be by reading books
as it helps develop empathy. It does this by improving something called “theory of the mind.”
Theory of mind is the ability to attribute mental states like beliefs,
intents, desires or emotions to others and to understand that other people have
different beliefs, intents and desires than our own. When an INFJ reads literary fiction,
they’re deepening their understanding of other people’s thoughts, emotions and desires.
This can help strengthen Extroverted Feeling (Fe). INFJs are then able to use their new
understanding in real life, to better understand and relate to the people they interact with.
Surround yourself with people who get you
Humans are born into social groups and we live our entire lives as a part of society,
so the social element can’t easily be removed from the evolution of an individual. As human beings
we all need some level of social interaction for our mental well being, and INFJs are no exception.
Whether its at local club, faith community, work place function,
being part of a social group is a great way to strengthen the Extroverted Feeling (Fe) function.
Extroverted Feeling develops when INFJs pick up on signs of pleasure
and displeasure in others and learn to fit-in with their social groups.
It’s the part of their personality that considers what effect behavior has on the group
as a whole. They just can’t strengthen it by isolating themselves from other people.
Limit your minds distractions
An INFJ in an Ni-Ti loop is stuck on a roller-coaster of endless thoughts
that leads to nowhere. The most effective method for most INFJs,
to get off this cycle and find solid ground has been in practicing mindfulness.
A key benefit of mindfulness is the ability to calm and focus. This ability to stabilize
and direct the mind is especially important in moments of stress, distraction, and overwhelm.
Focused attention training is a particular mindfulness practice,
that can enable one to experience calm and focus in a very direct way
However contrary to popular belief, this does not mean that you have to stop thinking or cease all
thought. In fact, research suggests that our minds naturally wander approximately 50 percent of the
time. Being able to exercise focused attention simply means being able to direct your attention,
becoming aware if your mind has wandered, and then being able to redirect your focus.
Set clear boundaries
Its important to establish boundaries when developing Extroverted Feeling (Fe). INFJs
with overdeveloped feeling functions, often struggle finding a balance between taking care
of themselves and taking care of others. There’s a real temptation for them to say “yes” every
time someone asks for help, and to put their own needs aside in order to meet the needs of others.
Having boundaries will give INFJs the tools to back away from their Extroverted Feeling, so as
to only use it in a way that’s good for them. With healthy boundaries in place, INFJs can get their
needs met as well as the needs of others, and free themselves in getting lost in seeking approval.
The longer an INFJ stays in the Ni-Ti loop, the harder it can become to hop out of it. But just
like a muscle, the more we use a function, the stronger it becomes. INFJs need to start
consciously exercising their weaker extroverted feeling (Fe) function in order to re-balance
their mental processes. This will likely help bring them back to conscious awareness.
Hopefully some of the tips on this list will prove helpful. Please let us know in the comments.