ACCORDING TO RESEARCHERS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA, THERE
IS A SMALL THING THAT CAN KEEP YOU AND YOUR PARTNER FROM
SPLITTING UP.
THESE RESEARCHERS FOUND THAT FEELING VALUED AND
ACKNOWLEDGED BY OUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS THE BIGGEST PREDICTOR
OF POSITIVE MARITAL BONDS.
ESSENTIALLY, GRATITUDE.
THERE IS A LOT OF RESEARCH THAT SHOWS
THAT FEELING GRATEFUL FOR YOURSELF IS AMAZING, IT HAS ALL
SORTS OF BENEFICIAL EFFECTS, BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE STUDIES THAT
IS SHOWING THAT WE CAN ACTUALLY HAVE A POSITIVE IMPACT ON OTHERS
AS WELL.
IT SAYS THAT GRATITUDE INFLUENCES HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE, AND
HOW COMMITTED YOU ARE TO IT, WHICH LEADS TO FEWER RATES OF
DIVORCE.
IT GOES ON TO SAY THAT IN THESE COUPLES IT'S NOT ABOUT
AVOIDING ARGUMENTS OR DISAGREEMENTS, IT'S JUST THAT
THESE COUPLES FIGHT BETTER.
IN
ESSENCE, THEY SAY THAT WHEN COUPLES ARE STRESSED THEY
ARE LIKELY TO HAVE MORE ARGUMENTS.
WHAT DISTINGUISHES THE MARRIAGES THAT LAST FROM THOSE
THAT DON'T IS NOT HOW OFTEN THEY ARGUE, BUT HOW THEY
ARGUE AND HOW THEY TREAT EACH OTHER ON A DAILY BASIS.
IT IS LIKELY THAT ALL OF THIS IS TRUE.
THANKFULLY JIMMY DORE IS NOT HERE, SO I CAN MENTION I
WAS IN GRAD SCHOOL.
IF THEY DID A TELEPHONE SURVEY, AND THEY DID IT ONCE AND
THEY ASKED PEOPLE THESE QUESTIONS, THEN MOST OF WHAT
THE ARTICLE IS SAYING, WHETHER THEY SAID IT OR NOT, BUT MOST
OF WHAT THE ARTICLE IS SAYING CANNOT BE PROVED BY ONE-TIME.
YOU CANNOT SAY IT LEADS TO LOWER RATES OF DIVORCE, BECAUSE
YOU ONLY LOOKED AT ONE POINT IN TIME.
YOU CANNOT SAY THAT MORE GRATITUDE LEADS TO A
HAPPIER MARRIAGE.
IT CAN BE JUST AS LIKELY THAT A HAPPY MARRIAGE LEADS TO
MORE GRATITUDE.
I'M GOING TO MAKE THAT POINT TO MY WIFE INSTEAD OF SAYING
THANK YOU.
IT CAN ENTIRELY BE THAT IF YOU HAVE A
GOOD, CLOSE RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO EXPRESS
GRATITUDE.
IF YOU HAVE SIMMERING RESENTMENT AND YOU
SUSPECT SHE IS CHEATING ON YOU, YOU ARE LESS LIKELY TO THANK HER
FOR OPENING THE DOOR FOR YOU.
GREAT, YEAH, THANKS SO MUCH.
THAT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED.
THERE IS RESEARCH, HOWEVER, THAT SHOWS THAT SMALL ACTS OF
GRATITUDE OR SERVICE, FOR EXAMPLE JUST BRING YOUR SPOUSE A
CUP OF COFFEE, OR A LITTLE BACK MASSAGE, CAN HAVE HUGE POSITIVE
EFFECTS.
I THINK THIS IS SIMPLY ONE PIECE OF THE PUZZLE IN A
LARGER AREA OF STUDY THAT PROVES
THE SAME THINGS.
WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY TRUE IS THAT WHEN YOU
DO SOMETHING KIND, IT PAYS OFF.
IT CERTAINLY PAYS OFF WHEN YOU
ARE IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP.
I CERTAINLY FEEL STUPID WHEN THE OPPORTUNITY IS MISSED.
I SHOULD'VE TAKEN FOURTEEN SECONDS MAKE A BIGGER DEAL
OF SOMETHING.
THANK YOU, THAT WAS GREAT.
YOU CAN WRITE A LITTLE POST IT NOTE AND STICK IT ON THE FRIDGE.
THAT WOULD TAKE LONGER AND FOURTEEN SECONDS.
IT HAS ALWAYS SEEMED WEIRD THAT AS YOU GET TO KNOW A PERSON
MORE, AND YOU SPEND MORE TIME WITH THEM, YOU FEEL LESS OF THE
NEED TO DO THAT.
IT'S ONE OF THE THINGS THAT DROPS OFF AS YOU
GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
THEY KNOW HOW I FEEL, WHICH IN A LOT
OF CASES IS TRUE, BUT I DON'T THINK IT WORKS IN THE
RELATIONSHIP CONTEXT.
THAT'S WHAT I'M GUILTY OF.
OF COURSE YOU KNOW IíM THANKFUL,
IíVE EXPRESS THANKS FOR THAT KIND OF THING BEFORE.
I ASKED
YOU TO DO IT, OF COURSE
IíM THANKFUL.
SOMETIMES I FEEL INAUTHENTIC IN THAT MOMENT OF,
I JUST WANTED TO SAY, THANK YOU.
FOR SOME PEOPLE, EXPRESSING GRATITUDE IS MOST IMPORTANT.
FOR OTHERS, IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO FEEL IMPORTANT WITH
ACTS OF SERVICE, FOR EXAMPLE.
LIKE WHEN YOU DO THINGS FOR ANOTHER
PERSON, OR YOU SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER.
PEOPLE JUST HAVE
DIFFERENT WAYS OF FEELING LOVED AND FEELING APPRECIATED.
THAT'S IMPORTANT, TO KNOW YOUR PARTNER AND WHAT MAKES THEM
FEEL GOOD.