How to attract women Hey it's Stephan here Stephan Erdman from Too Shy To Date Dot Com
thanks for joining me for this video
now i want to talk about this whole thing of
being nice
and should I be nice or should I be a jerk with women
or should I be a bad boy
and this and that
most people say nice kind of equals
giving lots of presents
trying to sort of like
cajole a girl into liking them
and that really doesn't work
doesn't work for one reason that nobody ever talks about
that seems to be a very important one
and for that i want to ask you something have you ever noticed
two people in the street meeting by accident
and lets say they are work colleagues and when they meet they will be like
they will sort of overcompensate
so they will go
hey how's it going
wow it's good to see you
hi yeah ahh
yeah
and they will both play this game
where they're both trying to reassure each other how much they like each other
but the second day split again
if you follow any of them
very often you notice that
because of this
over-the-top friendliness so i'm so excited to see you afterwards it's almost
like
you can tell that it was a pretend
uh...
session like a pretend moment of
hi I like you so much
when actually i don't
so be very aware that you never
never
get a girl to feel that she needs to pretend
to like you more
then she does
let me say this again be very aware that you never put a
girl in a situation
that she feels the pressure to pretend
to like you more than she does
because what you will get is this
realization in her mind that she's pretending because people always
know when they're pretending
that's the problem with giving a girl lots of things or like being a very
nice
guy that
nothing wrong with nice again i just using it the way other people use it
you know giving
giving a girl girl things making sure that she knows five times a day how
much you like her blah blah
it creates that pressure on her
to be nice back and it doesn't give
attraction
the chance to develop
attraction has to develop
in a pressure
free
vacuum
attraction
isn't a conscious thing that she decides on
attraction is something that
happens
that happens
after she has after it has happened she will notice it
and call it attraction
if she feels
she needs to be nice to you
in order to reciprocate
it's a powerful social mechanism
happens to all of us
somebody's nice to you
we wanna be nice back to them we will be feel the pressure to be
nice back to them
don't use that with women so much so what i would suggest is
be off the wall
you know be a bit outside of the convention
be
make sure
she knows that you how you like her but you don't
need her
or that
that you also tease her enough
to make sure that
she has that
uh...
that tension going on there which doesn't quite know what you want
whether you really
like her that way or whether you just like to hang out with her
important to have that
basically just to help her develop let her develop attraction for you
rather than her feel
that she has to
feel attractive to you otherwise you'll get disappointed or you'll be
frustrated or you know that you will feel that she's cheating you because you
gave her all those presents and took her for dinner and all that stuff
are you with me on this one it's a slightly more subtle slant on this whole subject but
the thing that's really the reason why
why it turns women off
and women are not only attracted to
jerks ok
whoever wants to tell you that
say thank you and move on
to some body who knows their stuff ok
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thanks for watching
how to attract women why being to nice kills attraction