here's the deal everyone is rejected at
some point and it hurts badly
I mean look Billy Joel has built his
whole career on singing about rejection
and feeling studies have shown that
rejection is really not that far removed
from actual physical pain today on wild
cast we took a viewer suggestion thanks
for the awesome idea Ken Jackson today
we're going to be looking into social
rejection we're going to examine why
being suddenly shunned from a group of
peers or friends is damaging to your
psyche and give you our three-step take
back your life method for remaining
healthy happy and in control if you're
upset after some form of social
rejection say your friends have stopped
talking to you or your coworkers are
giving you the cold shoulder that's
totally normal
put simply a negative reaction to social
exclusion is ingrained in humans because
being part of a social community has so
many perks humans are hard-wired to feel
pain when excluded it's how we stay
alive and it's not just psychological
pain either take a 2003 study done by
neuroscientists at UCLA these
researchers simulated social exclusion
with a computer game in which the
participants played catch with what they
believe to be other humans when this
virtual game of catch became the virtual
game of monkey in the middle these
participants who were hooked up to an
MRI exhibited activity in the section of
the brain that's usually associated with
dire physical pain so science has told
us what we basically already know it
really really hurts to be excluded but
like we said being rejected well that's
a part of life so what do we do how do
we stop from feeling so crummy when
we're left out the best way to counter
the pain of rejection is to seize
control in deciding how to react to it
and this brings us to our well-cast
exercise taking back your life triathlon
step 1 beef up your self-esteem studies
have shown that when cut out from a
social group people with low self-esteem
can sink into physical sickness
depression and a storm of other Mallett
the clear fix is to build your
self-esteem right now easier said than
done we know and it's hard to stay away
from negative irrational thoughts but
try to think about your situation in a
logical rather than emotional manner in
your wall cast journal write down your
three biggest accomplishments in life
the goal here is to not define yourself
by one upsetting event but learn to
define yourself by your accomplishments
your life experience look at that list
believe in who you are and know yourself
worth accomplishments are no easy feat
seriously and trust me you can rise
above all of this negativity step 2
treat your injuries the emotional pain
you're feeling right now is almost
indistinguishable from physical pain in
your brain so why not treat it as such
you're in recovery and scientists say
that it's crucial to maintain good
physical health during times of
emotional stress work on getting an hour
more of sleep a night map out your meals
ahead of time and make sure you're
getting fruits and vegetables exercise
30 minutes a day it'll release
endorphins in your brain which will
promote a sense of well-being the
healthier you stay the higher your mood
will peak we promise step 3 get
proactive think of this as a great
opportunity to make new friends that you
have more in common with look for new
social circles join clubs team sports
youth groups go after anything that
piques your interest use an excuse to
practice that newfound self-confidence
and really go all out to meet new people
odds are you'll find a group of friends
with whom you will fit right in alright
let's recap by taking control of your
life a control you thought you lost when
you were socially rejected you're less
likely to be emotionally bogged down by
what happened you can do that by working
to raise your self-esteem taking care of
yourself physically and reaching out to
form new friend groups did these tips
work tweet us
watch webcast email us at watch webcast
at gmail.com or leave a comment down
below we'll see you next time