- Yeah,
(audience laughs)
thank you.
So I have a guy now, I'm happy.
(audience cheers)
Yeah, I got one 'cause I, I stopped looking.
(audience laughs)
'Cause that's the rule.
If you're looking for a man, you never gonna get one.
Cause you, cause you, you know, you have that, that look.
(audience laughs)
Like where is that?
(audience laughs)
It's too desperate.
It's almost like a desperate prostitute just on the street
at that point.
(audience laughs)
You sure?
That's too desperate.
You ever seen a prostitute go?
You sure.
You can't be like that.
It's when you're not looking.
That's when it happens, it's that moment of calm
when you're not even thinking about it, just happy.
That's when a man's gone to look at you.
Like, ooh, yeah.
(audience laughs)
How can I destroy her?
(audience cheers)
Originally from Chicago,
that is the home of Barack Obama, our Lord and savior.
(audience cheers)
Oh, okay, that joke hasn't been working lately.
(audience laughs)
I still like him.
I'm a fan of Michelle Obama.
I think she is really classy.
(audience cheers) Yeah, I love her.
I mean she's good role model for young girls
and it's about time Black women have
a positive role model like that.
We get a lot of negative stuff.
I was actually thinking, you know, she's from Chicago,
I'm from Chicago, I could have been,
(audience laughs)
a First Lady.
But they would have done that background check.
(audience laughs)
I aint no lady.
Like Michelle looks like she always knew
she wanted to be a First Lady.
Don't look like she went through a slut phase.
(audience laughs)
I did.
(audience laughs)
Slut phase one, two and three.
(audience laughs)
There's a forth coming.
(audience laughs)
Every man always wants to know how many men you slept with.
I have always lied about that.
As the president, he could find that out.
(audience laughs)
Like if he asked Michelle, how many men she slept with,
She'd be like, baby,
I'm your first lady.
(audience laughs)
If that had been me,
it'd be like,
what?
(audience laughs)
Well, what had happened was see
(audience laughs)
I'm your first hoe.
(audience laughs)
Okay, wait, you guys you've made me feel like a hoe,
the way you laughed at that.
(audience laughs)
no, different reactions, different you know.
That's all right.
They laugh more I feel less of a hoe,
you guys laughed a little, I feel more like a hoe.
Thank you.
Cause I had a guy one time who didn't like that joke at all.
And he actually told me, he's like,
you should represent yourself better on stage.
Don't call yourself a hoe.
And I got really upset because I'm like, I'm doing comedy.
Plus I don't like nobody telling me what to do.
Like I got so mad.
I defended the fact that I was a hoe.
(audience laughs)
(audience applauds)
I was like what?
Dude I'm a hoe!
(audience laughs)