Thanks for being here.
Oh you're very brave people, not just because of the way
you were dancing before I came out here.
[LAUGHTER] But because you're here
and you're out in the world.
Recently, our staff was hit with the flu.
I don't know.
It's going around, huh?
I don't want to say who brought this contagious
bug into our office.
I'm going to point.
You, Mary, you.
Or as I call her, patient zero.
That was her nickname before she got the flu.
I just call her patient zero, just because it's a cute name.
PZ, I like to say.
Mary didn't come to work last week.
And I thought, oh, god, she has another flare up with a rash.
And--
[LAUGHTER]
And it wasn't the rash, though, right, Mary?
No, it was not the rash.
But then I heard she had the flu.
And I knew we were in trouble.
Because, then, it's going to spread.
Because we all work very closely together.
Kevin got it.
Then Ed got it, and he never calls in sick.
And then my producer, Matt Wright, got it.
He does call in sick, but usually because he's hung over.
And the next day the office looks like a scene
from the movie Contagion.
These are the assistants.
[LAUGHTER]
And I think everyone was sent home.
Because everybody was so nervous.
And it's good that they're being extra cautious.
Right now, the office has more germs
in the hot tub on The Bachelor.
[LAUGHTER]
You know that's full of germs.
If anyone here is feeling floozy, go home.
We don't need you here.
Just get up right now.
We're filming it.
You can watch it from home.
There are always these people that deny that they're sick.
They cough up a lung in front of you.
And you're like, what's wrong?
Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine, just clearing my throat.
It's like, well, your ear is bleeding.
[LAUGHTER]
I want everybody to stay healthy.
So I came up with a new-- we have the Ellen hoodies, which
are really popular.
Andy Zenor is going to model.
Come on out, Andy Zenor.
All right, so this is the new hoodie.
It comes with gloves.
And then you want to cover your face, not just
the back of your head.
So it comes with this.
[LAUGHTER]
Ah, that's good, right?
Yeah.
How's that feel in there?
Great.
OK.
[LAUGHTER]
And then the back says, "Laugh, dance, disinfect."
[APPLAUSE]
There he goes.
I want all of you to stay healthy this flu season.
Today, this is a very special giveaway.
This is really exciting.
Everybody here is getting Purell.
[APPLAUSE]
Yep, everyone's getting Purell.
And that side, over there.
And when you put it on your hands,
just hold hands with the person next to you,
so you give it to them.
And then that's how we pass it around.
We can't afford this side.
So what we'll do is just hold hands.
Right now, I'm going to bring out the sickest guy I know,
but in the best possible way.
This is tWitch.
[MUSIC - BELL BIV DEVOE, "POISON"]
You ready, Ron?
I'm ready.
I'm ready slick, how are you?
Oh, yeah, break it down.
Girl, I must warn you.
I sense something strange in my mind.
Yo, the situation is serious.
Let's cure it.
Cause we're running out of time.
And it's oh, so beautiful.
Relationships, they seem, from the start.
It's all so deadly when love is not together from the heart.
It's driving me out of my mind.
That's why--
[APPLAUSE]
Are you OK in there, tWitch?
I think I'm all right.
All right.
Is that the first time you've danced in a HAZMAT suit?
Yes.
Yeah, I feel like the way that people don't get sick
is there's just no air let in there at all, right?
That's how-- there you are.
Yeah, this is better.
[APPLAUSE]
That's got to be hot in there.
So here's a short video to watch while tWitch catches his breath
from dancing in a HAZMAT.
A Short Video to Watch While tWitch
catches His Breath from Dancing in a HAZMAT Suit!
Wee!
Oh, my gosh.
Well, wherever you want to get off
is fine, usually right when you.
I've never done that.
I can't imagine.
That's got to be hard, though, right?
tWitch, last week, we were talking about the DJ booth,
and how you're not a DJ, and that none of that equipment is
plugged into anything.
Right, right.
Same thing we do to Andy's headset,
he thinks he's plugged into something.
Nobody's--
[LAUGHTER]
He's wondering why nobody ever talks to him.
There's nothing there.
Nothing there works.
That's just a couple of hot plates
and a toaster over there.
It looks like it's something.
I promised that I was going to change it.
Because it's silly that we have a DJ booth and you're not a DJ.
I'm not a DJ, right.
So it's under construction, as you can see.
I'll reveal the new setup tomorrow.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, I don't want to spoil anything.
But I hope you like to make Subway sandwiches.
[LAUGHTER]
All right, well, we have some new equipment here.
You might notice, we have the Starbucks box up there.
We didn't ask for it.
What happened is we accidentally left the doors open.
And next morning, there was a Starbucks setup in there.
That's how they do it.
Actually, it's here because the Skybox is being
sponsored by Starbucks Rewards.
And you can sign up for the Starbucks Rewards
program on the Starbucks app and start earning rewards
right away.
I've been challenging everyone to go to Starbucks,
and buy coffee for a stranger in line,
and upload a picture of you doing
something nice to somebody, and post it to Ellentube.
It's been great to see so many people paying it forward.
Here's a little bit of what my viewers have done so far.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So today, we're going to be doing the Ellen DeGeneres
Challenge.
And let's see how it goes.
So I'm going to be paying for your order.
Oh!
Here you go!
So actually, your next order is on me.
So it's actually Ellen's birthday.
So we want to--
Happy birthday, Ellen!
Let's go!
Happy birthday, Ellen!
From Montecito!
That's really sweet.
[APPLAUSE]
I need to go see them.
There's still time to submit your video.
Make sure you're creative.
Because I'm going to pick the best ones
to sit in the Skybox for my birthday show.
Let's talk about what's going on in the news.
One of the big stories recently was about Elizabeth Warren
and Bernie Sanders.
They were arguing about something
after the last debate.
And they seemed pretty upset.
And the audio now has been released.
So you can see what they were talking about.
This was the moment millions watched, Elizabeth Warren
refusing to shake Bernie Sanders' hand
after the Democratic debate.
And tonight, we're finally hearing that tense exchange.
I don't think Hannah Ann stole the champagne!
What?
Hannah didn't know it was Kelsey's!
You know, you don't know what you're talking about.
I've been watching The Bachelor since season one!
Hannah's a thief, I tell you!
I love the bachelor, too.
Nobody cares, Tom.
[APPLAUSE]
Arguing over The Bachelor.
All right, we have a little time before we go to break.
So I thought we could do one of my favorite segments.
It's time for Believe It or Not.
[MUSIC - THE LOVIN' SPOONFUL, "DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC"]
(SINGING) Do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart,
how the music can free her whenever it starts?
It's magic.
All right.
This is a fun segment for me, anyway.
This is my producer, Joel.
And he is going to tell me something amazing he can do.
And then tWitch and I are going to have
to decide whether he can do it or not, if we believe it
or not.
Joel, what is it?
Well, believe it or not, I can fall asleep in 25 seconds.
You can fall asleep--
how will we know you're asleep?
I just snore.
Eyes are closed.
Don't need to prove it.
All right, what do you think, tWitch?
Can he fall asleep in 25 seconds?
I don't know if I believe that.
That's a really fast time to fall asleep.
I know.
The only thing is, every single time he's done anything
like this, he does it.
So I'm going to say I believe it.
OK.
Thanks.
All right, Joel, he doesn't believe it.
I believe it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Didn't work.
That did not work.
It was really loud, and all these people.
Have a good show, Ellen.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[APPLAUSE]
Well, you were right.
He couldn't do it.
There were just two sheep that he counted, right?
Was that two or three?
All right, that's how you play Believe It or Not--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, God!
Wow, spent a lot on that one.
We'll be back.