- "Ja Ja Ding Dong?"
I can't take this shit! Okay? - Okay
- It's like this much shit! - I know!
- I can maybe take this much shit, but it's up here.
- [Man] Your father is ashamed of you!
- He's right. My father is ashamed of me.
- (gasps) No he's not, that's not true.
- No, it is true.
After you left he looked at me, deep into the eyes and said,
"I am ashamed of you. Your life is a joke."
- Maybe he was drunk.
- No, he said, "And you might think that I am drunk,
"but I am dead sober."
Stefan just got his first armpit hair today
so he's pretty excited.
♪ Volcano man ♪
Your older brother rode a horse backwards to school.
Hey, be a cool guy.
Music, it's a tough biz.
(heaving) (splashing)
- That was so fun. (splashing)
- Yeah, there comes some more fun.
Let the fun out.
♪ La la la la la la ♪
- [Broadcaster] Best in Iceland,
to one of these lovely girls.
- Lars, this is too much.
- This is nothing.
- What are you doing?
- Just want my ding dong to look bigger
than what is really there.
(grunting) Please move. Please move.
Yes, it's real.
(sobbing)
- Lars, Lars.
- Hey, I'm Lars.
- Yeah.
- Oh, Sigrit. Hi.
- Hi.
- We're in the winners circle!
- We're in! We're in! - We're in! We're in!
- We're in!
Oh, but I feel really bad about the people on the boat.
- Oh me too. Ah, I know, it's a great tragedy.
- We're in!
- But we're in, I'm so sad.
No, we can't.
- Really?
- No, romance. It ruins the bands.
Think about it, Fleetwood Mac, right?
ABBA, Post Malone, Simon and Garfunkel.
- It's all about the flow, yo. (popping lips)
(mimicking gunfire) (groaning)
- What?
- It's all about the plow. - Blow?
- I think he said flow, flow. - Flow.
- It's all about the flow. - Okay.
- I think of romance, and sex play.
And like, you know, french maid and little sailor boy.
- Oh I like that.
- I have a good sized penis, but not too big.
I kind of describe my penis like a Volvo automobile.
Like solid, sturdy, dependable,
but not going to turn any heads.
I am happy to go sex nuts!
I am going to have sex with everyone!
- Great!
- Yes, starting with that lady.
Emptying the garbage can.
Yes, Theo! I'm going to have sex to you, my friend!
I'm going to be all over you.
It's going to be passionate and white hot.
You're going to melt under my body heat.
So listen up everyone!
There is a new sex machine in town.
Go home and build your wall,
you shit-for-brains Americans.
- [American] Get outta here.
- Lars, they love Starbucks.
Hey, go to Starbucks.
They have a special for Americans.
- Where's the Starbucks?
- That Starbucks, it's anywhere you look, okay?
- Oh.
- Just smell for the pumpkin spice latte.
This is not happening! (screams)
Slow down! I need complete control!
(rumbling) (crashing)
- Holy shit!
(crashing) (grunting)
- [Man In Toilet] No, no, no, no!
What the hell, man? I'm in here!
- I'm not sorry!
Goodbye!
Remember, give up on your dreams now
while you're still young.
I'll just leave the knife here,
in case you have to do other murders.
American's, my best friend! New York Jets right?
"Take My Horse Down to Old Town Road"?
There is no speed limit in all of Europe.
You can go any speed.
- (chuckling) Cool!
Thank you American's, you're awful people.
Ha, ha, but no seriously. Don't come to Iceland.
We don't want you. You might be killed by elves!
- Goodbye Lars.
- She's not a very helpful ghost.
(screaming)
(grunting) (thumping)
(soft punching)
(laughter) Why are you laughing?
I'm trying to have a fist fight with you.
♪ Ja ja ding dong ♪
♪ Ding dong ♪
♪ My love for you is growing wide and long ♪
♪ Ja ja ding dong ♪
♪ Ding dong ♪
♪ I swell and burst when I see what we've become ♪
Okay, how about the Eurovision song now?
- [Crowd] No!
- All right, fair enough.