Sunny Lenarduzzi: Coffee with my dad.
It seems so simple, but for years I found myself not being able to commit to having
a weekly coffee with my dad.
As an entrepreneur you have to make sacrifices, I totally get that, I understand it, but if
you're sacrificing the simple things that lead to true happiness and fulfillment, you
could achieve all of the success in the world and still feel empty.
And if there's one person in my life who's taught me a lot about balance, it's my dad.
He is a former pro athlete, he now runs a major league soccer team here in Vancouver.
So I figured, might as well go talk to him about this and bring you along for a coffee
date.
I've learned that fulfillment doesn't come from what I do, it doesn't come from a job,
it doesn't come from a person, it doesn't come from money, it comes from knowing who
you really are and what you really need.
And a friend of mine recently shared an exercise with me that showed me that technically everything
you need can fit into four boxes.
And that's what I'm going to show you today.
Hit the like button if you're excited to dive in.
So, how do you live a more fulfilling and happy life?
Well, it seems like a pretty tall task.
Bob Lenarduzzi: Watch It's a Wonderful Life once a year.
It, clearly, it doesn't matter how many times you watch it and the fact that I still well
up when I get to that scene, when we get to that scene, it's a great message.
And the message is throughout your life you impact a lot of people, and in Jimmy Stewart's
case he didn't know until he was faced with, "I'm going to kill myself".
And then the ghosts do their job and take him back and look into the future, and it's
clear to him at the end of it all, "Wow.
You know what?
I actually did some pretty good things".
Sunny Lenarduzzi: What if all of the joy you need fits into four boxes?
That's it.
It's that simple.
Sometimes the simplest things are the things that actually bring us the most fulfillment.
And a friend of mine recently broke down this exercise for me after he had gone through
an experience in building a very successful business, he ran an agency.
But he went on vacation with his wife and his daughter and he was tied to his computer
the whole time.
It was their first real vacation as a family and he couldn't get away from his computer.
He was constantly tied to it, he felt like he had no freedom, and it really wasn't a
vacation.
So it was his crux point of changing everything and finding a way to build a life that actually
fulfilled him outside of just his work, and something that didn't tie him to what he did
for a living.
So these four boxes, this exercise, is a game changer, truly.
I did it a few weeks ago and it really was so helpful for me in creating a full life
and a happier life that doesn't just rely on my business or relationship, and it's all
coming from what fills me up as an individual being.
So my four quadrants break down into this, freedom, first and foremost, which is the
freedom to create my schedule, to choose how I spend my day, to go for a walk or hop on
my bike at any time that I want.
I feel really sad and low when I get boxed into a very busy schedule and something where
I have to be places at all times.
That's why I can't work in an office, it doesn't work for me.
I tried it, doesn't work for me.
So I like to be able to have the freedom to create my own day.
So freedom looks like a bunch of different things.
It doesn't mean I'm traveling the world all the time, although I enjoy that from time
to time, that's not where I get my freedom from.
My freedom is just a freedom to do what I want, when I want, how I want.
The next part, the next box, on my four boxes is creativity, which is what I am doing right
now as we film this video.
So as I'm filming this, this makes me feel fulfilled.
Since I was a kid I've loved creating.
I've loved making things, I've loved creating content, even if it wasn't for a social media
platform.
I started making videos long before You Tube was even a thing.
And so that's been a hobby for me my whole life, and that's usually a big sign as to
what makes you feel alive.
A prime example of this is that ... Again, this doesn't have to be your job, it doesn't
have to be what you do every single day, but I have a lot of friends in my life who absolutely
love cooking.
And they're not professional chefs, but cooking for them is this creative outlet and it's
something that makes them feel fulfilled, it makes them feel happier, they like to provide
and create these dishes for their friends and family.
That fills them up.
So what's that thing?
I want you to comment below right now with a hobby or something that you do that lights
you up, and it has nothing to do necessarily with what you do for a living, it's just something
that makes you feel fulfilled.
And how can you integrate that into your life?
It doesn't mean you have to all of a sudden start join a professional ballet academy,
but it just means integrating it in some way, shape or form, and being okay with doing it
imperfectly.
The next thing is growth.
So growth for me is reading a book.
I read about five pages a day.
I'm not reading an entire book a day, but even reading five pages a day of a book in
the morning or at night before I go to bed, makes me feel like I've learned something
new.
So that's how I cultivate that growth in my day to day life.
So it's learning something new, it's chatting with a new friend or meeting a new person,
having a really interesting conversation, watching a TED video, reading an article online.
Whatever that might be, it's just growing my mindset and opening my mind to new ideas,
new opportunities, new things that I can learn every single day that makes me feel fulfilled.
And the fourth part, funny enough, is teaching.
Connection and then I think one of yours is growth, which is developing the next generation,
especially in soccer.
I think growth for you too as you and mom are so active, you both work out every single
day and that's like developing and growing your ... So I would say fitness.
Bob Lenarduzzi: Yeah.
Sunny Lenarduzzi: I love teaching, and I never thought in my life that I would consider myself
a teacher, but I think that that's what I've become.
I live to teach you guys.
I live to share new ideas and the best part about this is that because I love teaching
things so much, when I learned this concept, which is part of growing and that growth fulfillment,
I immediately came home and I had a dinner with my family and I ended up telling my parents
and my boyfriend about this exercise.
And I had them all do it at the table and we all talked about our four boxes of fulfillment.
And so my dad called me the day after we did this exercise and he recognized that one of
his boxes of fulfillment that he likes to do on a daily basis is connection.
So he wants to go for a coffee with a friend, or he wants to meet a new person, or he wants
to go and have a chat with me or have lunch with me.
And so the funny thing about this was as I filled up my cup and I fulfilled what I needed
by teaching this to other people, which is my family, my dad had this light bulb moment
of, "Oh.
I need to have more connection in my life and I'm going to now make it a priority and
make sure that we're going for this weekly coffee every single week".
And what do I do every week when I have those coffees?
Generally, I'm sharing some sort of new idea or thing that I've learned that week with
my dad, so it fills us both up.
Bob Lenarduzzi: I can't even write something down.
Sunny Lenarduzzi: Well, also, your writing is so bad.
Bob Lenarduzzi: I know it is.
I'm like a doctor.
Sunny Lenarduzzi: You are like a doctor.
So how do you do this exercise and figure out what your four quadrants are?
You don't have to do it perfectly on the first try and this make some time for you to really
dial into what it is that makes you feel fulfilled on a daily basis, but just start to note the
times in your day when you feel that yes, I feel so good about this, I feel good in
my body, I feel at peace, I feel lit up by what I'm doing in this very moment.
It could be little teeny, tiny things that you're doing throughout the day and those
are a huge clues as to what makes you feel fulfilled.
It's nothing external, it's nothing that you do in your work or in a relationship, it's
just you as a human being, what makes you feel good.
Bob Lenarduzzi: Peace.
Sunny Lenarduzzi: Yeah.
Peace and quiet.
Bob Lenarduzzi: And under peace would be ...
Sunny Lenarduzzi: It would be cutting the grass.
So there's two ways to do it.
Figure out what those over-arching buckets or categories are first and then start populating
the activities you want to do within the boxes, or write down a bunch of different activities
and then figure out how they all can be organized into four different buckets.
So that's really the simple process to building a more fulfilled and happy life outside of
just work and outside of what you do for a living because that is not who you are, and
that is not going to fulfill you in the long run.
You have to find what you as a person enjoy in life and make more time for that.
If this is making sense to you, give me a like below and let me know that you're enjoying
this by commenting below this video.
And like I said, we created a little print out for you of this exact exercise.
So you can grab that below.
There's a link below to go download it.
And like I said, you can do it on the computer or you can do it with a print out version
and do it offline.
And hang it somewhere that you can see every day so you make sure that you do feel fulfilled
on a daily basis, which will ultimately lead to a happier life.
And what I would love, love, love for you to do is as you start filling these out, make
sure that you take pictures of them, screenshot them, and tag me on Instagram with your four
boxes of fulfillment and I can't wait to see what you come up with because this is such
a huge component of living a much happier life.
The next thing that I'm going to show you in next week's episode is how to find your
tribe.
The people that are going to elevate you, the people you want to surround yourself with
to build a bigger, better, more successful life on your own terms.
It's so important and I can't wait to share the tips and tricks that I've learned in connecting
with some of the people that I've looked up to for years and years and years.
So it's going to be an amazing episode, can't wait for you to see it.
And on that note, I do have to give a shout out to my friend, Mikael, who is the guy who
gave me this exercise at a recent event that we went to.
And he is the founder of Funnelytics, which is an amazing company as well for anyone in
online business.
You want to definitely check it out.
I'll link to that below in the description too.
So thank you so much for sharing this with me, and I'm so happy that I can share it with
you because this fulfills me.
So if you like this video, like I said, give it a like below.
Subscribe for new episodes every week.
Next week, like I said, we're talking all about building your tribe to elevate you and
attract the right people into your life.
And make sure you comment below with #BossClub to enter to win shout outs in my videos and
free BYO Boss swag.
New videos every week on how to be your own boss, build your own life.
We'll be back next Tuesday.
Can't wait to see you then.
Thanks for watching.
How do you define success?
Bob Lenarduzzi: I would refer back to Nono, your grandfather and what he actually said,
not on his deathbed, but close to.
I sat with him in the house and he was really struggling at that point.
And so I sat with him in the basement.
I was getting ready to go to Australia, wasn't sure I wanted to go or not 'cause I knew he
didn't have long left, and he was even struggling to converse.
I sat there for a minute and he looked over and he had a good moment and he said, "What's
wrong?"
And I said, "Well, you're obviously not in a good place".
And he said, "Don't worry about me.
I've had four good boys and never had any problems with them, and I know that they'll
be a legacy when I'm gone.
And if someone had said to me when I was 20 that I'd make it to 80, I would have snapped
their hands off".
So I was actually quite taken aback 'cause he was struggling to speak.
But not only did he speak, he actually provided some pretty succinct information at a time
where I didn't think he was capable of.
But that's stayed with me since then and I've repeated it on numerous occasions.
So back to the answer to your question, it's you, it's Ryan, it's now Leo, it's your mates.
And ideally hoping I’ll be in a similar place when that time comes.