hello psych2goers welcome back have you
ever caught yourself saying something
manipulative to someone to get what you
want
sometimes you might not realize that
some of the things you say and do are
manipulative
instead you may notice friends going
distant and relationships being at risk
so if you've been questioning your own
actions lately here are six signs you're
manipulative without realizing it number
one you're kind of a know-it-all do you
often feel that people should follow you
because you're the one that knows best
or perhaps you have this constant urge
to put yourself first in every
circumstance as a result this tendency
may make other people see you as selfish
and a know-it-all which may cause them
to turn away and avoid spending time
with you for this reason it's good to
look at how you treat people
you may not be aware of this behavior as
it may have developed unconsciously for
instance having the upper hand may be
your way to mask your insecurities or
you may be unconsciously imitating the
behavior of your strict parents who made
you obey their every demand growing up
so take time off and focus on yourself
when you become more confident in
yourself you may find that you will no
longer need to outshine everyone all the
time
number two you shower someone with
affection then pull back if they do
something wrong
have you avoided someone after an
argument to prove that you don't need
them
is it your way to tell them that they
should be the one to go to you first if
they want to make up this is a push and
pull type of behavior where you make
someone feel happy when they're doing
something right but then pull back to
punish them when they do something wrong
you might do this because it can give
you a sense of control over others but
this tactic is toxic and manipulative
and can seriously harm someone's mental
health
number three you're very adamant about
getting what you want
do you go to extreme lengths to get what
you want let's say you want candy but
others want chocolate so what do you do
someone who is manipulative may decide
to throw out all the chocolate so nobody
gets a choice in the same sense a
constant urge to be in control may cause
you to do just about anything including
lying guilt-tripping and blaming get
what you want
but whenever you catch yourself thinking
of doing any of this it may be helpful
to just stop
breathe and take a step back
give yourself some time to think these
moments of self-awareness and reflection
can aid you in moving forward after all
changing your habits may not be easy but
it is doable and you're more than
capable of achieving it
number four
jealousy makes you do problematic things
how do you respond to jealousy
if you saw some friends hanging out
without you would you feel offended and
purposefully go out with someone else to
take heaps of photos just to flaunt them
on social media for them to see
manipulative people have issues with
jealousy
when you feel like you're not on top of
a situation you create another one that
you can control even if it's at the
expense of your own relationships
in moments like these it may help to
give yourself some time and space to
come to terms with the fact that not
everything other people do is related to
you
know your own self-worth first so you
won't feel threatened when others don't
number five you never say what you want
outright do you find yourself
guilt-tripping others into doing you
favors according to barham manipulation
can arise from an inability or at least
a reluctance to simply say what it is
you're feeling or needing this behavior
may come from underlying anxiety
insecurity or a strict childhood
upbringing
strict parents who don't let their
children open up may bring up people who
avoid confrontation completely
in this case you might find it helpful
to contact a therapist to talk to you
and address your problems
take it step by step
you can handle this
and number six you use relationships as
bait
have you ever said to someone that they
should do something for you if they
really loved and cared about you
if so then you're using your own
relationships as bait to get something
you want
whenever you do this you're basically
saying that if they don't do what you
want then you'll break things off with
them
this is a deeply hurtful and unkind
thing to do especially to the people who
you love
as mentioned earlier it is highly
possible that you are not aware that
you're even doing these things that's
why it's good to have a keen sense of
awareness about your own actions respect
others and find ways to build your
self-esteem remember that all of this is
part of your journey growth
so did you relate to one or more of
these points let us know in the comments
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as always the references and studies
used in this video are added in the
description below
thanks for watching and we'll see you in
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