Ramos leaves Real Madrid!
Oh sh*t… here goes nothing…
Come in!
- You wanted to see me? - Er, yes... I wanted to...
Offer me a new contract! That’s why I brought my agent.
Let’s talk money, bitch!
Señor Red Card, I’m afraid I won’t be offering your client a new contract...
- Really? - Really...
- Then I’d like a word with my client, please… - Of course...
- Attack... - No! No! Noo...
We’re only on the first floor...
- Time to find you a new club! - Vamos!
- It’s a no from me, Señor Red Card. - Why?
I don’t think Mo Salah would be too happy if we signed you client...
Why not? I just bumped into Mo Salah downstairs!
By which my client means he grabbed him by the arm, threw him to the floor and dislocated his shoulder
- Haha! - What?
- It’s happened again, Jurgen… - Noo... Security!
We’re only on the first floor... No! They lanend on Virgil!
¡Noo!
- It’s a no from me, Señor Red Card. - Why?
- We’re trying to sign Rafa Varane... - Rafa will never move here!
- There’s more chance of you re-signing George Best - Hahaha! You ‘re such an inspiration...
Security! Security...
Oh sh*t, I’ve just remembered, the Glazers won’t pay for security.
- Attack! - No! Wait!
We’re on the ground floor...
- It’s a no from me, Señor Red Card... - Why?
We already have a Spanish centre-back. One who is good enough to make the Euros squad.
- May I? - Yes, you may.
- Wait! No! - What the hell?
- Why didn’t it break? - It’s reinforced glass… for Raheem’s shooting...
- It’s a no from me, Señor Red Card. - Why?
The role of ageing centre-back has already been filled by Thiago Silva.
- May I? - Yes, you may.
A broken eye-socket or a nibbled shoulder blade… Which will it be?
- Let’s go, Sergio… - I can take him!
Go ahead. Make my day…
We’re on the 43rd floor...
Next time, amigo… Next time...
What do you mean you won’t play for freeeee...
- It’s a no from my client, Señor Simeone… - What?
My client is not the biggest fan of Atletico Madrid.
To put it politely, I f****** hate Atletico Madrid and everything it stands for
- Good. Your hate has made you powerful. - I fucking hate you too, pu**!
Very powerful. Join us...
Fulfill your destiny and take your place in my dark side…
- Never! - Unleash the full power of the dark arts…
- My client said never! - Imagine winning La Liga with Atleti in 12 months time
That would be the biggest single act of football shithousery ever…
Yes. Even bigger than me winning it last year…
- Where do I s… - Snap out of it Sergio!
What was I thinking? Never!
So be it, Madridsta…
Vamos!
My client is thrilled to become a PSG player!
It was an easy decision! I love PSG!
The humongous wages and bonus payment for every time I get sent off had nothing to do with it...
I can’t wait to get to meet my new manager…
- Bonjour! - HALA PARIS! - Siuu!