we're gonna have to rip another hole in
the space-time continuum
leo look i made it
leo
i don't have time for this just please
tell me how to get to the mansion
mansion
a mansion where you and 800 of the
world's most elite football players and
their managers live together under one
roof what is football there's no such
thing called football
[Music]
what happens when 800 of the world's
most elite football players are not
football players because they live in an
alternate universe where football
doesn't exist
not much this is the randos i have
destroyed fine dining me i did it i made
the tasting menu without an entree i
call it the false mane
okay it's tapas i reinvented thomas hi
i'm phil i'm 21 and i'm from stockport
get me in that villa man i'm sorry do
you think this is love island
uh is it not no it's not even an island
oh crumbs working in hershey park's not
so bad maybe if the peanut butter cup
gets hurt they'll make me starting
mascot yo thanks for checking out my
dating profile some facts about me i'm
into batman cosplay and i work at a dive
bar
a bunch of random guys
come along diego
around here i'm known as the goat herd
it's a simple job watching my goats and
tending to my crops but i can't imagine
doing anything else
sometimes i think in another life
i was a goat
these are all my county fair trophies i
have seven ballon oranges but honestly i
didn't deserve the last ones
uh you'll have to excuse me i don't
usually get visitors here
leo oh thank god the things i had to do
to find you i had to fly commercial i
had to eat an airport sandwich anyway
it's not important listen i'm from
another universe where you and i are
rivals in a thing called football and
we're very rich and very famous but i'm
more famous and to be fair i do work at
it harder than you but the point is i
need your help because the only way i
can get back to my universe is for you
and me to kick footballs at each other
as hard as we can so lino messi will you
kick balls with me
okay
on my signal
three
two
signal
didn't work
no obviously it didn't work farmer
[Music]
i think i know what happened in this
universe football has no power because
it doesn't exist
we're gonna need to rebuild the sport
from scratch
what just like the two of us or excuse
me sorry to bother you our bus broke
down we're an international dance troupe
on our way to the ballet world cup okay
hold on so you're telling me that mo
salah sadio mane robert lewandowski and
the rest of you ballerinas from all over
the world by the way came together and
got on this guy's bus which just so
happened to break down right here that's
not weird my bus breaks down all the
time between you and me i'm not even
supposed to be driving i was sacked
pottermore what is this strange
ball you have here
it's a football
you kick it
with your foot
oh
i am so happy i have never felt this
joie de vivre
teach us your ways
[Music]
good work lad who wants lemonade
oh thanks harry i'll take a cup i don't
have any cups
[Applause]
[Music]
have alissimo
[Music]
geez look at these tactics where's johan
cruyff when you need him these guys have
a lot to
oh never mind they get it
now you guys have the most important job
in the whole sport you have to stand
there look busy make faces wave your
arms and you just generally like be an
very good excellent technique
wow cristiano ronaldo your movement has
caught the hearts and minds of people
all over the globe perhaps i can offer
my services as a spanish translator i
have an affinity for languages you see
it just comes easy to me like making
friends ha i love this guy what's your
deal i'm a monk hey this looks fun can
we play oh yes please of course
well i created a perfect football utopia
[Music]
these young players really are the
future and to think they owe it all to
me
i guess my job here is done oh nice that
means you can finally go home
no this
this is the way football was meant to be
this is who i was meant to be
[Music]
maybe i should
stay
can i stay
huh heads up
hey you made it back is this a bad time
to tell you that you didn't qualify for
next year's champions league
[Music]
is
[Music]
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