I’m going to talk about that in this video,
so, stay tuned.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert, also a lawyer and
on this channel and in these videos,
I talk all about everything narcissism,
but mostly how to gain the edge over a narcissist,
so you can become the most powerful one when it comes to narcissists.
So, you want to make sure you subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell,
because I'm here everyday making sure that
you can break free from the chains of narcissists.
Personally, I had to deal with a covert narcissistic business partner,
this is really the definition of that frog and boiling water.
If you haven't ever heard that expression,
you've never heard about this analogy,
this is such a perfect one.
It's just getting hotter and they don't realize it.
That's what happens with covert narcissists,
because you kinda don't see them coming.
With grandiose narcissists, you see them coming,
you spot them a mile away,
because they're loud, they tell everybody how great they are and
when they come into a room they’re holding court,
this is the one that I picture,
when they come into a restaurant, they demand the best table,
they want the service coming to them right away,
they want everybody to know their name,
they want the best wine, order the most amazing food,
they send the food back if it's not the exact right thing,
entitlement all the way,
that's the grandiose narcissist in my mind.
They wanna have the most prestigious friends,
they want everybody to see they have the most prestigious friends,
they would never show up in any kind of car other than the best one,
it's all about putting on show,
that's the grandiose narcissist.
The covert narcissist on the other hand would actually say,
“Oh, I don't care about those things”,
they might say those things, but then, under the radar,
they would just display they have those things,
they display that they have the nice things,
but it's just so much more under the radar.
They might say that they're extremely spiritual,
they might say they care about all the right things,
because it seems like that's the right thing to say.
It seems like they know how to look like the right thing under the radar,
but they also are very good at aligning themselves in a way
that they get the flying monkeys lined up with them,
making it look like they are the good people,
the kind people, the humble people,
but also maybe sort of downtrodden,
maybe sort of something happened to them in the past,
their past traumas got to them and
they might even tell you they have issues with depression and
they suck you in with their stories, you want to help them and
so you find yourself drawn to them that way and
all these people seem to think they are good people and
you might even find they are in professions like ministry,
or nursing, or something like that and
everybody else thinks that they're good people,
but then all of the sudden,
they're saying things to you that are very passive-aggressive
and you're thinking, where did that come from?
Once you get into relationship with them,
deep jealousy, you're finding that jealousy happening and
that anger, that just under the surface anger and
jealousy, competition and so they say these things,
“Well, must be nice that you get to do those things” and
“Oh, I don't get to do those things”,
there's like guilt and
“You look good for somebody your age”,
or then there like these little cuts start to happen,
like, these little comments start to happen,
but then when you start to tell people about things,
then people will be like,
“Well, I must have been inadvertent because they're so nice”,
It's really hard to tell people what they're doing,
because they're very good at being under the radar,
they have this plausible deniability where they can say,
“Well, I didn't mean it like that”,
or “That's not what I was saying at all”,
they’re excellent at kind of covering their tracks,
that it makes it extremely difficult to be in a relationship with them,
because when you are their target or their victim,
the gaslighting, the mental tricks, the emotional abuse is so much worse,
it's so much more difficult to get over.
I mean, it really makes you think that you're crazy,
I mean, they all gaslight,
they all do this passive-aggressive thing,
they all line up flying monkeys to make it seem like they’re wonderful,
you are definitely the one that's crazy and
so when you're trying to get out of this relationship,
you feel like no one's gonna believe you,
everybody's gonna think that you're the bad one,
because this person is so good and
I do have a video on “This is how narcissist play the victim”,
you definitely want to watch that.
It is so sick.
I do have a video on covert narcissism in relationships,
which you definitely should check out,
I've lived this with a covert narcissist business partner,
which is why I feel so passionate about this and
why I've dealt with this so much.
It all just comes down to how they're so good at painting themselves
looking like they are the victim,
they're just so good at it and
they want to look like the victim,
because then everybody rallies around them,
everybody feels sorry for them, you look like the bad guy.
By the way, we have a covert narcissist in our family and
it's more important for them to look like the victim,
than even have family relationships,
because they are so addicted to that attention, that supply,
so they'd rather have that than actually have real relationships,
and that's really the sad part.
That's really the pathetic sad horrible part of their sickness and
their addiction to their supply.
But, it is what it is.
You can't help them, you can't save them,
the old three c's, right?
You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it,
all you can do is help yourself.
You can do that by starting to make sure you take care of yourself,
if you don't have a support system and
you don't have a way of getting your own help and you need therapy,
I do have a partnership with BetterHelp.com,
which you can get help from.
If you are getting ready to negotiate,
make sure to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
at winmynegotiation.com.
It's a free e-book, go grab it, link below as well.
Make sure you subscribe to this channel,
hit that notification bell.
Join my free private Facebook group for more support,
at “Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung”,
we'll put links to everything here below as well,
get the support you need.
Remember, they only win if you give in.
Remember today's a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will see all of you guys in the next video.