Jyoti: Everyone just assumes I'm female. But there's a little more to that.
The last guy I told about my condition, he said that was like a deal breaker.
It can be kind of awkward at first,
I need someone who can like converse with, you know?
Johnny: Yeah.
Jyoti: I'm Jyoti, I am 18 years old. I just graduated from high school.
I'm going to a community college in the fall.
I was born with a condition called intersex.
I’d define that as not having the typical binary sex organs or parts.
In my case, it means that I don't have any internal
or external sex organs.
It also means I won't be able to have my own biological children, since I don't have like a vaginal opening.
I don't have either ovaries or testes.
I was born in Calcutta, India, and I was adopted by Sue and Patrick when I was about three and a half.
Sue: She’s going to really interesting to take good care of her properly.
Jyoti: We hope.
Sue: She was delivered to us in an email. Patrick: Yeah.
Sue: We had been attempting to adopt for probably two years.
Patrick: I looked at that email. I read it over again and I thought, that's our kid.
That's our baby.
Jyoti: I've always seen myself as a girl as female, and so it wasn't really like a question of
who or what I was it was more of like, what am I going to do for myself in the future?
And that's kind of like where we are now.
It says I have the vocabulary of a well educated sailor.
I like to have some creamer in my coffee, but it has to be sugar free because of my diabetes.
In July, I'm having a reconstructive surgery to create a vaginal opening and the vaginal canal.
You might not want to see this.
Jyoti: Yeah.
Jyoti: Because I’m a messy eater sometimes.
I decided to do the surgery mainly because as I get older, I want to have a more typical female sex life.
I know that it's going to be a long surgery and there's a long time of recovery.
Sue: My hope is she's going to feel more complete as a person she identifies as a woman.
And that it will make it easier to date.
Sue: So, what are your options?
Jyoti: I could always just do first I’m not liking this.
Sue: You could.
So if I'm pursuing a relationship with a heterosexual male,
there's the assumption that I have like all the typical parts.
Sue: Isn’t that a beautiful color on her.
Jyoti: Just worried about looking too formal because we're going to Main Street Bar and Grill.
I have to explain it. And I want to be up front about it.
I'm going to try my other option.
I'm going on a date with Johnny who I've met on the app OK Cupid. We have a lot of the same kind of beliefs
and the same point of view I guess.
He's also kind of nerdy I'm, I can be kind of nerdy too.
Interviewer: So are you feeling nervous? Jyoti: A little.
Mostly because I haven't actually met him yet.
Sue: He sounds like a just a good person, mature person with very similar interests and values to hers.
So I'm, I'm trusting and I'm trusting Jo's judgment too.
Jyoti: We text to the bank. We talked on the phone. He knows about my condition.
Sue: I've probably worried to access aboutwhether or not this guy will back out.
Be good.
Jyoti: I'm really glad that you said yes to this. Because I was kind of worried.
The last guy I was like I went out with actually said that it was a deal breaker my condition.
Waitress: Mozzarella sticks. Jyoti: Oh that’s for me.
Johnny: Yeah, should we reorganise a little?
I Try to watch TV. But my Internet's been out all day.
Jyoti: Oh no. Johnny: I watch superhero stuff.
Things like that, anime. Jyoti: Yeah.
Johnny: I wait for a shorter release and then I'll binge all of it.
Jyoti: Yeah, And also, here's the thing a lot of the time …
We had a lot in common. In fact, we talked more than we ate actually.
Johnny: She told me about her condition. I thought, well, that's different.
But I want to get to get to know her as a person.
It was a little awkward at first, but I think, yeah, she's been really cool. And I liked her.
Jyoti: So I had a really good time. Johnny: Me too.
Jyoti: And I’m not lying about the ... Johnny: Yeah,
Yeah this was good. Jyoti: Yeah.
Would you like to go out again? Johnny: Yeah, I would yeah.
Patrick: The first time I met Jo, I knew within about 30 seconds,
that I had just come into contact with probably the most determined,
strong, feisty little personality I would probably ever meet in my life.
The subsequent 15 years have not, not proven that wrong.
Jyoti: As much as it scares me to have the surgery because it is such a big operation.
I'm also excited for it. Because I know this is something I definitely want to do.