NARRATOR: You don't know him?
I mean Adam Warlock, the golden boy created
to be cosmically perfect and to save
and/or destroy the universe.
Well, let's go cosmic.
Ladies and gentlemen, Him.
Way back in a very groovy era, there
was a group of scientists called the Enclave
who planned to create an army to take over the world.
The prototype was crafted to be a perfect cosmic
being simply called Him.
Yes, using him as a name seems a little
confusing amongst a group of male scientists,
but clarity be damned.
Let's just call him Adam Warlock.
Even within his cocoon, Adam Warlock could
tell the Enclave was bad news.
Bursting from his chrysalis, he flew off into space!
Just minutes old, Adam Warlock already had a bevy of powers
like speed, strength, flight, the ability
to manipulate cosmic energy, and to regenerate
inside his cocoon, making him essentially immortal.
But space was lonely, so he tried to steal
Thor's lady Scythe literally.
Thor was ready for battle.
But when the going gets tough, the tough create a cocoon
and float off into space!
Realizing Him wasn't the best name,
he took the name Adam Warlock when he met the High
Evolutionary, a perfection obsessed
geneticist who had a penchant for engineering
human animal hybrids.
His most recent endeavor gone wrong
was creating Counter Earth a planet
full of engineered beings one of which
was the terrifying Man Beast.
Warlock, like any perfect cosmic being,
could not allow the High Evolutionary
to destroy the planet to stop this cursed creation.
The High Evolutionary gave him the soul gem
to aid in his mission.
Warlock did indeed save Counter Earth from the Man Beast.
Such a good boy.
And soon set his sights on defeating the evil Universal
Church of Truth.
But there was just one problem.
It was run by none other than his time
traveling evil future self The Magus
with a questionable, evil perm.
To stop this scourge, Warlock teamed up
with his brash new pal Pip the troll,
the most lethal warrior in the universe Gomorrah,
and Gomorrah's father a cranky purple Titan named Thanos.
Adam and his new allies conquered Magus and
the Universal Church of Truth.
But Thanos seeing the power of the soul gem,
got some big ideas involving gathering
all those Infinity gems.
Adam, Gomorrah, and Pip the troll
tried to stop Thanos from his evil scheme,
but were mortally injured.
Thankfully, Adam saved their souls within the soul gem,
so they could eventually regenerate.
Meanwhile, Thanos created the Infinity Gauntlet to wield
the gems and ultimate power.
But once Adam emerged from his cocoon, it was go time.
Adam headed back into space and snatched the gauntlet,
thus making him a living God.
But the cosmic judge of the universe, the Living Tribunal,
was like think again goldie.
So Adam created an infinity watch, himself,
Drax the destroyer, Gomorrah, Pip,
and Moon Dragon were each charged with protecting a gem.
Over the years, Adam continued to aid the heroes of Earth,
but largely fought alongside cosmic heroes,
including his old allies Gomorrah, Drax,
and their fellow Guardians of the Galaxy.
And though he has had many brushes with death
over the years, he's always managed
to survive by healing in his cocoon
or relaxing in his gem's soul, which he uses to save
the souls of his deceased friends and himself
until they can be revived and released back into space!
Adam Warlock shines as an immortal hero,
while his other persona, The Magus,
looms in any number of possible futures.
[EVIL LAUGH]
[COUGH] Excuse me.
Anyway, now you do know the cosmic golden boy Him,
I mean Adam, I mean Warlock, Adam Warlock.
There we go, a masterpiece.