I just -- [ Chuckling ] God.
They were bickering about "Game of Thrones,"
and I just got up off the couch,
got in the car, and drove.
Drove for about two hours
before I stopped and even thought to ask myself
what I was doing.
Are you asking if I'm sure?
I am saying that
when one is in a slight mental-health crisis,
one might regret the decisions she makes later.
I didn't leave when I was thinking about doing drugs.
And I didn't leave when I was wondering
if Link would ever really understand me.
I stayed through all of that
because I thought I must be crazy,
because who leaves a really good and decent guy?
But I don't feel crazy now.
And I don't want to get high.
I just don't want a ring,
and I don't want to have any more babies.
And -- And I didn't even leave him.
He left me. But...
[ Breathes deeply ]
But I hated the life that he loved,
and so I think that the sanest and kindest thing
I could possibly do is to let him go,
no matter how much it sometimes aches.
[ Elevator bell dings, doors open ]
Look at you.
♪
Look at me, what?
Look at you, Amelia Shepherd, all grown up.
♪
♪ Pieces of my heart ♪
♪ Scatter like stones ♪
♪ And I'm just trying to figure it out ♪
Rough day? Yeah, I had better.
Sorry to hear that.
♪ For every one I find ♪
Hey, I don't want to talk about it,
but do you want to get a drink at Joe's?
I think I, um...
I think I need a minute before I go home
to the wife and the kids.
♪ I'm just trying to puzzle peace ♪
Yeah, sure.
Sounds good.
♪♪
♪ I'm just trying to get some sleep ♪
♪
♪ But the ocean of my heart is raging ♪
Hey. Hey.
What's up?
[ Breathing heavily ]
♪ I take a breath and try to breathe ♪
Mm!
♪ I'm just trying to puzzle peace ♪
♪
I-I heard you did two flawless lap choles today.
I did.
My rock-star boyfriend.
Huh? Say it again.
My rock-star boy--
Meredith: I've had to operate alone before...
♪ Looking for answers ♪
...in circumstances I would have never thought possible.
♪ But wise words only get me so far ♪
We'll go home in a minute.
♪ I'd pull it apart ♪
[ Yawning ] I just need to find the energy to walk to the car
and get in it... [ Crunching ]
...which might be tomorrow.
By now, I know what I'm capable of,
how much I can handle on my own.
♪ I'm just trying to get some sleep ♪
And you know what?
I can handle a lot.
♪
♪ But the ocean of my heart is raging ♪
You're playing the surgery over and over
in your head, right?
[ Clicks tongue ]
When you saw that bloody field,
you felt numb, but cold,
and sick to your stomach?
Yeah. How'd you know?
[ Chuckles ]
You don't think I ever made a mistake in the OR before?
♪♪
Or watched Meredith Grey make a mistake?
♪
[ Sighs ] I feel awful.
You should.
Thanks.
If you didn't, you'd be in the wrong line of work.
It's that feeling, that -- that -- that awfulness --
it sticks with us
so we don't ever make that same mistake again.
♪
It's how we become great.
♪ I'm just trying to puzzle peace ♪
[ Chuckles lightly, breathes deeply ]
Night, Helm.
But that doesn't mean I'm going to turn down an assist
from another pair of skilled hands.
♪ Oh-oh ♪
Because at the end of the day,
just because I can do a surgery alone
doesn't mean I have to.
Hi. Let me guess --
emergent kidney transplant.
Uh, liver, actually.
How'd it go?
Good. No bad. Good.
You're here.
I'm here.
Should we get some dinner tonight?
Yes. [ Chuckling ] Okay.
Let's do it. Let's do it.
Okay. Okay.
Go get some rest. I will.
See you.
♪ I don't really know what to say ♪
Knowing someone else has your back?
♪ And I take a breath and try to breathe ♪
It's everything.
♪
♪ I'm just trying to puzzle peace ♪
♪