- [Strider] Howdy!
It's time to look at some...
"adult" animated movies.
But only "adult" in the context
that it's too offensively stupid
for children to watch
without losing brain cells.
Often these cartoons
will dish out vulgar or shocking scenes
not to enhance the narrative
or to speak more deeply
about adult messages,
but instead just to try and
shock viewers into paying attention.
I mean, I have no problem with a bit of vulgarity.
I'd just like it to mean something more
than just being there purely
to try and shock the audience.
But these animated movies
are just the real deal
at smutty, lowbrow garbage.
So let's check out
the Top Six Worst Adult Animated Movies.
Generally,
the more offensively bad the movie is,
the more closer they'll be to number one.
The less effort they put
into treating the audience with intelligence,
and the more pointless
frat-boy garbage
means it'll probably stink the worst.
But as always,
as I think it's important to say,
if you do like these movies,
that's great!
It's just my silly personal opinion.
Taste is a very subjective thing
and I'm glad if you can enjoy these movies
when I can't.
Also, just a heads-up,
While I have censored some things,
there might be a few more adult scenes
and adult themes in this one.
Anyway, onto the countdown.
Number six...
"Nerdland". Wow...
This is so annoying
it makes my brain hurt.
- Okay, that's...
That's enough for today.
Stop when you're hot.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the muse
has left
the building.
- [Strider] When I saw the opening
was an old geezer
shooting up a strip club,
I knew I was watching
the abrupt end of a screenwriter
ever working again!
You see, Elliot dreams of being a screenwriter.
And his buddy Paul wants to be an actor.
Unfortunately,
the two show the social grace
and unbridled insanity
of whoever thought this movie
would actually be a good idea?
I think it's supposed to be a commentary
on modern society and commercialism.
Unfortunately, it attempts this by
endlessly reveling in the foul side
of 21st century pop culture,
resulting in something
so distasteful and vile
that I feel like a chemical shower after watching it.
Just to name a few,
we have scenes of humiliation,
rear cracks,
and exploitation.
It's just... euuugh.
The two go about continually
failing in their job attempts,
leading to numerous desperate-feeling
grossout scenes.
- [Elliot] A handful at most.
Not many, preferably strangers.
- [Strider] Ah, jeebus, REALLY?
I guess this could be called a powerful message
about the warping of the public consciousness
and their desire to mindlessly work to be publicly visible
even at the loss of their humanity?
No... (sighing) no.
It's just stupid.
So they...
try to sum up the urge to murder people
but can't murder people
and instead become famous
through being witnesses to a murder, and...
I'm sorry, are you done, too?
Yeah... let's move on.
"Nerdland" is a supreme waste
of your time and attention.
- That's just...
- Oh god, it's awful.
And the fifth-worst adult animated movie is...
"The Trouble with Terkel"...
the American version.
Okay, to start with,
the Danish version is much better.
But the American translation?
- You can't just hit him--
- [Stewart] What are you gonna do about it, crybaby?
(punching)
- Uncle Stewart,
you cannot leave bruises!
- [Strider] Well...
it sounds like the voice actors
just made up their lines as they went along,
throwing in a swear word every four seconds
just to be sure they're being "edgy",
resulting in something as rancid
as nine-month-old Danish cheese
churned through a sewer pipe on taco night.
- You're such a (quack)tch.
- Get yo black ass outta' my house.
- [Strider] Some audiences
seem to like this one,
but as for me,
I agree with the other critics
in calling this American version trash.
To me,
"Terkel" just seems to assume
it can shove a bunch of crude, violent,
paper-thin jokes in your face
and just see what sticks.
Unfortunately, NOTHING sticks.
At all.
So obviously we get plenty
of shock... scenes?
I think they're meant to be shock HUMOR,
but "humor" is far too generous a word
for anything in "Terkel"!
I mean, obviously,
the animation's also gonna look plastic and horrible.
Their eyes look like ping-pong balls,
and frankly,
these characters make Fanboy and Chum-Chum
actually look handsome!
But what's amazing is,
even the trailer
feels like it was thrown together
in ten minutes.
(calm music) - [Voiceover] Indican Pictures presents
the cutest family film of the year.
- [Shiela] Yeah! - [Leon] No.
- [Shiela] Whatever.
- [Strider] The lip syncing is garbage...
- [Sten] Fat Doris and Terkel
are getting it on!
- NO!
- [Strider] The volume is up and down like a jackrabbit,
the voice takes are obnoxious.
It's just...
What audience did they expect
this to appeal to?
The wild pygmy marmoset chimpanzee demographic?
The most fascinating thing about this movie
is just how many categories
this thing fits into.
Get this:
It's an adult-animated-
musical-dark-
parody-comedy-horror film.
Try saying that five times fast.
So what is this...
fugly arthouse animation about?
Terkel's a...
criminally-insane sixth-grader
who's picked on at school,
and slightly psychopathic.
And finally gets some validation
by picking on his best friend's sister.
And this makes her decide
to jump out a window.
Terkel... apparently becomes
more popular for this?
Yeah, I'm sorry,
this one's pretty tasteless to me, too.
And the story's tedious
with no real humor or cultural commentary
to justify the offense.
And it's not like the offense is any
great challenge to my worldview.
It's just rotten human beings
that are played for laughs.
Your DVD is much
better dismembered with a sledgehammer
and sent to your local garbage dump.
And then incinerated.
(music)
Number four...
"Heavy Metal 2000".
This one's generic, silly,
and pretty teen-pandering,
but sadly,
not even hilariously bad.
Like, it's just more a
sad, lazy recreation of the original
than anything with actual substance.
(woman shouting)
- Why are you--
(gunshot and electrical whirring)
- Was it good for you?
- [Strider] The problem is that
many of these action clichés
are literally decades old at this point,
since the original "Heavy Metal" it was based off of
was made in 1981,
and it lacks any of the finesse
or tenderness of the original.
I mean, on a purely visceral level,
the action scenes are...
kind of interesting,
And the two women, Julie and Kerrie,
are beautiful to look at.
I guess if I was 15
these ladies might be enough pubescent entertainment
for the 90-minute runtime for me,
but as an adult,
I just wish I had
any investment in the movie they were in.
The original "Heavy Metal" had a power
and unbalanced [unabashedly] embraced the grunge,
lawless yet provocative atmosphere of their world.
But this movie just feels like
a lazy rehash.
I recommend watching the original "Heavy Metal" instead.
And the third-worst adult animated movie is...
(flatulence) "The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat".
This was made at a time
where adult animation was still fairly young.
Despite "Felix the Cat" and "Mickey Mad Doctor Days",
cartoons were still somehow engrained as something
"for kids".
A sequel about Fritz smoking a joint
and reminiscing about...
"the good ol' days"
as his wife yells at him.
What could possibly go wrong?
Originally I was thinking maybe "Fritz the Cat" for this list,
as it felt like it was made by a group of stoners
trying to make the first X-rated animated film,
but I feel the original had...
some historical significance.
The sequel, though?
It's basically just Fritz imagining his life different
and using drugs to escape his wife's
legitimate frustrations at him.
The weird part is,
the show acts like we should be more interested
in Fritz's stoned fantasies
than his reality.
But instead,
I found his fantasies tedious,
and the characters in it felt one-note.
Instead,
the only part I actually found myself invested in
was when Fritz woke up from his stupor
and listened to his wife for a second.
I think I would have actually liked the story about
how these two came together,
and the tragic process
of what slowly drove them apart.
And then we just get these
weird, disconnected scenes
that aren't even remotely entertaining,
like flashes of random footage
of conflicts from history,
with Fritz dating a lady he met in the background.
And sometimes these trippy music videos
go on for a good eight minutes straight!
I can't even call this movie a tragedy
because I don't feel any empathy for Fritz.
Although he's on welfare,
and his house looks like it's been kicked in
after a police drug bust,
and his wife's beside herself,
A lot of it just looks like
it's due to Fritz being
a negligent husband and father.
He won't even spend time with his son.
(kicking)
- [Fritz's Wife] You ever take him to the ballgame?
(quiet smacking) You ever take him fishing?
(quiet smacking) How about fishing?
Why don't you take your own son fishing?!
- [Strider] I actually just
kinda feel bad for the wife and son.
Why DOESN'T he bond with his son?
But no,
we just watch him reminisce
on far more boring stories than his own reality.
(psychedelic guitar) - Suck my (quack), huh?
- [Strider] How?
How am I supposed to relate to that?
Lines like that just make Fritz feel like scum.
"Nine Lives of Fritz" is...
atmospheric.
I can definitely give it that.
And I guess there's value in
that we just see how seedy, rough, and hopeless
life can get for people in these situations
or parts of town.
But it was WAY too tedious
for me to get immersed in that world.
And the second worst adult animated movie is...
"The Haunted World of El Superbeasto".
Shock and horror,
what a surprise!
More gratuitous violence, nudity,
trashy scenes, and individuals
with no sense of value for human life or dignity.
This movie, it's...
well, it's, uh...
It fascinates me how adult shows
like El Superbeasto manage
to make nudity so, well...
UN-sexy.
Like any subtlety, timing,
art, and nuance
is just gone.
While also managing to make
gore so...
unshocking, deadpan, and dull.
Once again,
both are purely there
for the sake of shock and shown endlessly.
Making both about as interesting and special
as an accountant's cubicle pen collection.
Though that's probably not doing justice
to an accountant's ability to spruce up his cubicle.
Anyway, it doesn't help that Superbeasto himself
is supremely unlikable.
- Eugh, fine.
Take a headshot and,
here, Superbeasto bumper sticker.
Put it on your s(quack) car.
Now lay off!
- [Strider] And just
reprehensible in every way.
He's exploitative,
treats his fans like garbage,
treats people like objects to be used,
- Oh, sure, use a man's balls
to beat the hell outta somethin'
and then don't wait for him!
- [Strider] His most endearing quality
is we only have to deal with him for 75 minutes.
In production, we basically
get the power of two completely unrestrained directors
in both animation and film.
The first you may recognize as Spümcø,
the "genius" behind
the worst cartoon episode of all time
from "Ren & Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon".
So we can be sure that every fungus-ridden toenail
will be given a long, uncomfortable close-up.
And of course Rob Zombie.
who's a founder of the heavy metal band "White Zombie".
So here we have a film director
wanting to push all your buttons
crossed with an animation director
desperately attempting to give you
the grossest thing ever put to paper.
Strangely enough, though,
"Superbeasto" isn't even that shocking to me.
It was just dull.
It's, like, "modern Family Guy"-dull.
We KNOW it's going to be unnecessarily gory,
full of un-titillating nudity,
characters will all act stupid or evil,
and the novelty and shock of these
has worn off so completely by this point
that it's like someone continually punching me in the shoulder.
The pain may be less,
but it's probably still causing me internal bruising.
Oh look, we have MORE ladies' chest parts,
blood, gore,
more breasticles, more violence.
And again, I have nothing against some adult titillation.
But they managed to make these things boring,
And how could two directors
with free range of every
raunchy, gory, sexually-soaked reference on the planet
make something so drab and wretched?
Some people may say
I just don't get the joke of this one,
and that's fair.
But personally,
I believe I "got"
whatever little joke there was.
And that "joke" made me need another year of trauma therapy.
To me, anyway,
"El Superbeasto" is BAD.
I figure you'll find this movie
either boring or offensive.
Either way,
we both lose.
(ricocheting and footsteps)
And before we get to number one,
just a couple of quick Honourable
and Dishonourable Mentions.
For the Honourable Mentions:
"Sausage Party".
Gah...
I'm mixed on "Sausage Party".
I like the general existential themes.
I also like that the movie
is giving a message about religious skepticism,
even if you're in the minority.
And yes, it's smutty and immature,
but all in all,
I felt like I gained a little more than I lost
from watching it once.
And I should also make it clear
I do understand WHY this movie needs to be smutty.
While I personally had 15 years
to wrestle with secular self-actualization,
I get that some people have not had that privilege,
and for people who are just coming out of
religious culture and into secularity or
their own independent beliefs,
hedonism may be their first answer
to being alone in the universe.
I don't like it in "Rick & Morty", either,
but I think that cynicism and hedonism
is a catharsis for people who've
grown up in an oppresively religious culture,
and if this is what they need
in their first steps towards personal secular self-actualization,
then good for them.
- You can't just slam their beliefs!
You have to show them that there's a better way.
You need to inspire them like you inspired me.
You need to give them...
hope.
- [Strider] So, yes, I don't deny that
"Sausage Party" has artistic value and
moments of insight.
But personally,
a lot of the time I just found it cringey.
"Cool World".
This gets mentioned a lot
for some of its kinda smuttier scenes,
but personally,
I don't mind it.
I actually like the combination of live-action and cartoon,
and I like that Jack, the main character,
is actually a redeemable, decent enough guy.
He's not just a one-note pervert
or a seedy scum,
it feels like he's legitimately
falling in both lust and love with Holly,
this cartoon woman.
- I'm made of ink,
(tapping)
but I'm no dream.
(sizzling) - [Jack] Ah--
- [Strider] I feel like there was an earnesty
to this movie that I appreciate.
And I review it in more detail
in "Live Action Cartoon Mixups"
if you're curious.
- Since it's only a dream...
indulge your fantasy,
Jack.
- [Strider] And for the Dishonourable Mentions...
"Hell and Back".
This is actually up there
in the worst animated movies of all time.
If I ever remake that list,
I can guarantee you will see this in the top five.
But I've talked about it in "The Worst Claymations of All Time",
and I'd rather not give it any more attention.
"Eight Crazy Nights".
I've reviewed this one twice,
so I'll simply mention
it's a personified worst of Adam Sandler
with all the charm of a colonoscopy.
It's probably the worst thing to
ever happen to Hanukkah.
As Robyn mentioned,
its toilet humor's turned up to 11
and the voice acting's like a cheese grater on the ears.
- (high-pitched sputtering)
Stop these kids!
- You breakdancing?
"The Drawn Together Movie".
I like the original "Drawn Together" series,
but this movie's poorly-thought-out,
lazy trash compared to the original series,
and one of the worst animated movies
I've ever seen.
(all except Strider laughing)
(beeping)
(explosion and reversed laughing)
"Foodfight!"...
Oh yeah, this is kind of an adult movie, isn't it?
No? It belongs in a
museum showing criminally-insane animators'
crimes of nature?
- IT'S DAYTIIIIIIIIME!
- [Strider] Yes, I agree.
Moving right along.
Anyway, onto number one.
And the number one worst adult animated movie is...
"Jay & Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie".
Even the title is terrible...
- Man, I feel good today, Silent Bob!
It's time to get back to work
as New Jersey's number one
unlicensed guerilla weed merchants.
- [Strider] You can tell it's "adult"
because one of the characters
is holding a cigarette.
You know what's even sadder
than a crappy, juvenile movie
parading as an adult because it's
desperately throwing tasteless sex and violence in your face?
One that doesn't even feel like it's TRYING!
Like, nothing they do
feels like they ever tried in this movie.
The animation looks like
something I saw in a cheap Newgrounds Flash animation
from a nine-year-old trying to
annoy the website moderators into banning him!
As well as stiff, ugly,
lazy animation,
the lip syncing is just trash.
(dramatic music and flatulence)
- We're coming for you, Bluntman and Chronic!
Wherever you are--
- [Strider] The jokes aren't even WORTH a groan.
It's basically just spades of
teenage fart and sex humor that
reaches the absolute base level
of what can even be considered humor!
Maybe it's funny to...
someone out there?
Possibly?
I've just yet to meet them.
(urinating)
- Yo, look at that (quack) blow up.
Keep pissin', boy!
- [Strider] The story...
well, Jay and Bob
win $10 million in the lottery
and become superheroes.
Nauseatingly repetitive smut jokes
and pointless shock violence ensue.
Seriously, though!
I wouldn't even expect this animation
in a 2-to-5-minute YouTube video
on toilet humor.
How do you manage to make Video Brinquedo
look artistic and sophisticated?!
There is FAR better animation on YouTube out there
from much smaller, cheaper studios
that don't get much more than $1 per thousand views
if that.
It's a tragedy of Hollywood
and society itself
that this movie had any actual talent behind it.
This movie had actual talent?
Shockingly, yes.
Because Tara Strong as...
"Cock Knocker"
is actually...
okay,
and manages to move the character
beyond their one-note gimmick.
But we all know she was far too talented
to be in this movie in the first place.
(very high-pitched) - "Bluntman and Chronic".
(silence)
(bell dinging)
- Not again...
- [Strider] Her voice was like a momentary respite of peace
within the hurricane of mediocrity
spilling onto my screen.
Mercifully,
this movie is only an hour.
But it is an hour of torture.
The creator, Kevin Smith,
was clearly stoned out of his mind
when he made this movie.
And it saddens me
that something this garbage
could even be labelled "adult" in the first place.
I personally consider
"Jay & Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie"
the worst animated movie that I'm WILLING to talk about.
And obviously,
Adult animation is not just "adult"
because it has some shock humor or smutty jokes in it.
In fact,
a family PIXAR movie
like "Up", "Inside Out", or "Coco"
can be considered far more adult than these movies,
Because adults can connect with the vulnerability,
fear, and personal struggles of these characters.
And they can communicate an adult message
that resonates even with the very young.
And with the emergence of Netflix,
more and more studios are able to give us
these real glimmers of humanity and vulnerability
from an adult's perspective.
And if you feel I've missed any lousy adult animated movies
or have any different opinions on these,
feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below.
And as always,
thanks for watching,
and I'll see you next time.