-I don't know about y'all, but I'm freezing.
[ Laughter ]
In the words of Outkast,
"You know what's cooler than being cool?"
-Ice cold!
-No, this studio.
[ Laughter ]
Apparently, studios are kept cold
because there's this unproven theory that audience members
will be more alert if the studio is set to a colder temperature.
So I'm hoping to do a little experiment
because I think that's BS.
So, let me ask you.
Who here's cold? Raise your hand real quickly. You're cold.
Who here -- everyone in production, pay attention.
Who here would be having a better time
if it wasn't so cold? Make some noise.
Raise your hand. [ Cheers and applause ]
Would you look -- Ahh!
Would you look at that?
That's what I thought.
Let's crank up the heat a little bit.
Come on. [ Cheers and applause ]
Now, it was super important to me to have a studio
that I felt comfortable in.
I don't know if you guys know this,
but thermostats were developed in the 1960s
based on men's body temperature.
[ Audience boos ] Mm-hmm.
So if you think your office building is too cold,
blame the fact that back then,
women were encouraged to stay home.
If a woman set foot in an office building in the '60s,
she'd immediately burst into flames.
[ Laughter ]
On the plus side, at least she'd be warm, I mean.
[ Laughter and applause ] Right? Am I right?
I've always been cold.
When I was a kid during the winter,
the only Nelly song I sang was...
♪ It's getting cold out here, so I need more clothes ♪
♪ I am getting so cold ♪
♪ I need to put my clothes on ♪
Straight up. [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah. All the guys love me. [ Laughter ]
I think winter is why everyone else hates people from L.A.
The summers really are endless here.
But it's the price you pay living in constant fear of
earthquakes, wildfires, and Mel Gibson.
[ Audience oohs ]
Hold up. That joke was so cold,
let's turn the thermostat up 10 more degrees, y'all.
[ Cheers and applause ]
But the most annoying thing is,
when I decided to move to L.A. from Canada,
everyone said, "You're gonna miss the seasons.
You're gonna miss the cold."
And honestly, it's too damn cold here too!
[ Laughter and applause ]
People said, "Lilly, sometimes it can be
like 40 degrees at night," and I was like, "Yes, that's perfect."
Turns out I was fooled by the metric system yet again.
[ Laughter and applause ]
It's been so cold for so long that it's starting to affect
the way I view the environment.
Now, I believe we should be taking aggressive,
meaningful action to fight climate change.
[ Cheers and applause ]
But if that fails, I mean,
at least we'll get a few toasty years on our way out.
You know what I'm saying? I'm down with that.
Older people always say they can tell the weather is changing
because they feel it in their hips or their knees.
I can feel it all over.
[ Laughter ]
Because if I shave my legs when it's cold,
the hair grows back in 20 minutes.
[ Laughter and applause ]
My body hair is all, "Don't worry, Lilly. We got you.
Just a natural blanket."
[ Laughter and applause ]
I feel like there's a huge difference
in what men and women consider cold.
Guys are always exaggerating.
Women, you feel me? They're always exaggerating.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'll be in my living room, feeling perfectly comfortable,
and the guy I'm dating is like, "It's so hot in here.
I'm sweaty. I'm gonna pass out."
Get your ass out of here. Get your ass out of here.
[ Applause ]
That's why I'm glad I started dating girls now.
Straight up. Straight up. [ Cheers and applause ]
The thermostat is always at a comfortable 80,
and the bedroom is at a permanent 69.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yes, continue cheering for my thirst.
Thank you. Thank you. [ Laughter ]
Thank you.
Although it seems like no matter what I do,
my body feels like a block of ice at all times,
and it's a problem.
I mean, the last person who went down on me
got their tongue stuck for like an hour.
We had to call the fire department, y'all.